Thread: enjoying relationships with women and enjoying gay sex?

Uglytrollgirl (I hate typing your username since I doubt you are either ugly or a troll).

Maybe you can talk to him. If you take the approach that you experimented with other girls and you don't see anything wrong with him being interested in other men - but you do have a problem with him acting on that interest. Make it clear (if I understand you correctly) that it isn't his orientation that matters, but you expect him to not cheat on you (with men or women).

Maybe you can find out what he really wants. Its possible that he would be happy if you did him with a strapon occasionally - don't know if you are OK with that. It may also be that he wants to be with an actual man - in which case there isn't anything you can do.

How is the rest of your relationship and sex life. If this is the one problem and otherwise things are wonderful, then its worth putting real effort into trying to find a solution. If this is just the last in a long string of problems, then maybe you would both be happy apart.

Its always difficult to provide suggestions here: words just can't convey a clear feeling for what is actually going on, and its easy to map situations we are familiar with onto someone else's words.
good luck

Well, Just think of it this way UTG, pretend for just one moment... that it was not men he was browsing, but women. If he was making dating profiles to meet women, browsing local craigslists ads and RESPONDING, chatting, setting up meetings with them... how would you feel? How would you react? Whether it was for fantasy, or he just chickened out, or he just covered those tracks... regaurdless, I am sure you would hurt and feel equally as confused and lied to.

Being 'bi' is not a pass to cheat or disrespect a relationship, neither is being 'bi-curious' or whatever. When a straight man commits to a woman they don't become girlfriend-a-sexual... as in no other woman attracts them. Nope, they are still attracted to other women. Because they marry a red-head does that mean they should be dis-allowed from exploring what blondes have to offer? Why oh why should they not get to experience brunettes? After all... they married a red-head.. Um no, thats not how it works

When someone commits they commit. They decide that one person, whatever package they are in... is the one for them. Any deviation from that without letting their partner know about it is in offense to the relationship and trust.

I would not let yourself be so distracted with his orientation to override what all of this may be saying about his character in general. If you are worried about him shutting down before you even get to hear his side of the issue. Don't approach it as a gay straight bi concern, approach it as a fidelity concern... a commitment concern and an overall time to evaluate just how happy you guys are with each other.