could this be why?

**ange12** · 07-09-2011 12:49 PM

i have been a lesbian for about 3 months now (and had sex for the first time (yes i was a slow one but hey im glad im not like one of my friends who got his girl friend pregnant when he was 15 and she was 14 they had the child but splut up after the girl friend turned nasty) 3 weeks ago) and someone asked me once
why are you?
i couldn't actually answer other then the fact my last few relationships didnt feel right and this one with my girl friend does

since primary school (im english so bear with my english words

) i havent had many friends who are girls and have mainly had friends who are boys (my choice) and appart from my love of manga, anime, crysis (yes i have a beast of a gaming machine and yes everyone thinks just cause its not on xbox its despite the fact its not on xbox cause xbox cannot handle its graphics

and no im not fat and/or physicaly unattractive just because im a techno junkie) and various mmo's i have the average likes and dislikes of as many males you could care to ask who went to my primary school and go to my collage.

now being around guys when a girl walks past the most common comment to go around is "ooh shes got a nice boobs" or similar sexual remarks two things pretty much happened first i got angry because while they mostly forget it i am a girl but after a bit

i started to agree

while still getting angry at the more graphical remarks made (also when ever theres a party we sometimes used to go round to a friends appartment (no nothing happened i am good at A: knowing when to say no to more drink B: saying no to sex and C: causing harm (i dont look it but for some time i used to enjoy fighting) and inevitably porn was brought out)

anyway im thinking because i have the same interests and i know most of the guys i have contact with inside out that made it hard to find new things out and same likes/dislikes (almost) just made it all stagnate and go no where

then the fact i had pretty much been slowly brought round to a guys way of thinking about girls (not entirely while the body is nice to look at the mind is also a beautiful thing in its own way) while keeping whatever is left female (clothes makeup etc)

all adds up to someone female in body and partially male in mind

could this be the long winded answer i could of given?
and if anyone out there who "turned" homosexual in a different set of events or who has a different thinks on why people become homosexual would like to offer their thoughts then go ahead

**mercury19** · 07-09-2011 03:13 PM

I don't know if this will be any help, but I'm a girl with 7 gay male friends. (That's a lot higher than average as far as I know :P, so I do have some experience with homosexuality). What I have learned from all my boys, is that none of them made the choice to be gay. Don't get me wrong, they didn't all know from birth that they liked boys (the vast majority of them had girlfriends before), but once they figured out they were gay, there never was a 'why'. You just are. What I have learned from my friends is that a person's sexuality isn't a choice.. In the words of Lady Gaga, you were 'born this way'. I don't think you should have to explain yourself, or your sexuality, to anyone. As long as it makes you happy, that's all that matters.
Be happy, and I hope this helped.

**CHANDLERS WISH** · 07-09-2011 03:25 PM

Alot of women don't relate to hanging out with women, rather prefer male company, some a bit tomboyish and other's just can't mix with girls as well, and it does appear to also be the interlect and conversations had.

I don't know if hanging around guys, has made you a lesbian if that is your question, I doubt it but it may have made you think more of the female's body due to the constant exposure of words and porn.. The question you have to ask is has this exposure made you confused and think therefore you are a lesbian or perhaps you are actually bi-sexual and have found someone you enjoy being with who happens to be another female.

As long as you are happy and have feelings for this girl that's all that matters for the now but don't put a label on yourself until you know for sure that label sticks...

**Hopeless Dork** · 07-09-2011 11:42 PM

Human beings are complex creatures, especially sexually. I can admire 'nice boobs' on a woman, and even be sexually stimulated by a womans body but I do not consider myself lesbian or even bi or even bi-curious because I have no interest in having sex with a woman, nor a relationship with one. When I was developing sexually I was living in a house of men that kept playboys around, etc... and I think I would look at the pictures and think of sex and so it geared me to view women in the sexual object way -- but I never had 'feelings' for girls beyond that.

It is quite possible especially at a pivotal moment in sexual development to become attracted to people you might not otherwise be. Also, its what you surround yourself with that you tend to find attractive I've found. I remember one of my friends that only liked to date men of a certain race, but then she moved to an area where that type of man was not really available and her attraction changed, she didn't 'fake' like being with guys of another race, she organically became attracted to what she started to get accustomed to being around. I don't see why the same can't happen as far as being steered in a sexual direction and finding you like it..

Some people are 'born that way' have never had influences, and I'd say thats true for most homosexuals, that they are just wired to be attracted to who they are attracted to. For others it CAN be a choice, when they find themselves sexually attracted to both sexes, and end up swinging one way or another based on factors that have more to do with personalities and the way they click with someone.

I use to masturbate to NOTHING but pictures of women in my early sexual develpment and still am sexually attracted to the site of a beautiful woman, but oddly enough NEVER in real life. Only in images. I've NEVER met a woman that I was turned on by, but pictures of sexy woman CAN do that to me. MEN are what turns me on in day to day life, being sexual with men is where my body feels the tingles and being loved by a man, touched by one , desired by one... is what fills my needs and satisfies me. I have zero sexual desire to touch a woman, and I drool thinking of my boyfriends penis, so yeah, I'm straight lol.

I mean some people are attracted to feet, to people covered in jello and tater tots... again, we're complex beings. Don't worry so much and just be yourself and your heart and chemistry will lead you the direction your meant to be.

**rcoreyus** · 07-09-2011 11:43 PM

I think you never need to label yourself. Do what you enjoy, just don't commit to a permanent relationship until you are sure you will be happy with it permanently.

**ange12** · 07-10-2011 04:54 AM

Originally Posted by CHANDLERS WISH

don't put a label on yourself until you know for sure that label sticks...

i see what you mean but if i have a bit of me saying "but what if you are straight?" then that would get in the way (might be the wrong way to say it but doubt can kill anything if you let it)

i know i am a strange one my first sexual experience was only 3-4 weeks ago (and im not even curious as to what sex with a man is like) and before that i didn't masturbate much, im a computer nut (but i don't let that get in the way of my social life) my house is full of anime and manga (most people add that last two up to: big fat sweaty nerd but i am far from it)

something i forgot to add in the opening post:
apparently being homo/bi/heterosexual can be genetic but then again it can be nature/nurture (i was going to put some more but i seem to have forgotten it sorry)

something like that...

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