Called bf wrong name in bed,,,

**X_Tina** · 07-10-2011 07:47 PM

Hi, I have an unusual situation and would love some advice.

This past weekend I went to my friends cabin with my bf, and some friends. While in bed with my bf, we were about to have sex and my friend was throwing up and sick and I said oh brad. and my bf got pissed and said thats it we are over.

My boyfriend and I talked the next day and he said you said Brad dont stop. And I tried to explain to him that I was worried about Brad and the dont stop thing was for him not to stop. I have called him the wrong name twice before but not in bed just when we were watching tv. I told him I love him and not anybody else, and I wouldnt cheat on him at all and I would not want to mess up my relationship with him. He said he would sleep in the spare room for now and see how things go.

What can I do to make him happy? I know he won't forget what I said and I cannot make him. But I would like to make it up to him.

Some friends told me to give him space and time to relax. I am such an emotional mess right now, I couldnt sleep at all. He knows alot of my passwords and pins for my bank card and credit card. and his phone is in my name, so I would be screwed with that stuff.

Another friend, said he probably wanted the reaction I got so I understood he was serious but I am not so sure.

Any advice on what to do to make it up to him is helpful...

**Mes T** · 07-10-2011 07:57 PM

Why do you mention the credit card/bank info issue? Would he be the type of person to actually do something to harm you financially, if you two were to break up? If that's the case, if you have any doubts, then you need to change those passwords, NOW.

I can see why your boyfriend is upset. The fact that you've done it more than once would be a red flag to me, if I were him. Do you have anything going on subconsciously, like, do you at all fantasize about being with other people? Are you perfectly happy in this relationship? Do you have difficulty sometimes focusing on one thing at a time (like sex with your boyfriend)?

**X_Tina** · 07-10-2011 08:02 PM

I have trouble focusing on one thing at a time with multiple things. I get distracted when I am having sex I am not going to lie. I do not fantasize about other guys. I like my sex life. I have a short attention span and I get easily distracted.

I do not think he would do anything to harm me financially but you never know do you? I want him to sleep in the same bed with me and talk to me. I want to make this up to him, but I do not know how too...So sad...

**Hopeless Dork** · 07-10-2011 10:51 PM

Do you ever call other friends or family members by the wrong name or is it just him? My mom, for instance, can't get a name right EVER... she calls us all (her sons and me her DAUGHTER) by the wrong name ALL the time, always has lol... she calls my kid the wrong name... she knows who we are ... she's just bad at saying the name she's thinking of when she talks , its nothing to do with a memory problem -- its just names, she says the wrong one so much we think she has to be kidding but ... shes not lol.

Who is brad? Is he a friend that your bf knows? An ex? I think knowing the person whos name you said would be important in knowing the level of hurt he might be feeling.

If you have a hard time with names (like my mom!!) it would be best to call him something like baby, or honey or something so you never have the opportunity for mishap.

I'll tell you right now if my boyfriend called me another womans name outside of the bedroom, id be hurt. Accidents happen, our brains our so busy... but it would still be offensive. But I'd forgive and forget that. If it was AN ex... I'd be bothered about it for longer, if it was some hot co-worker or one of his friends sexy gf's I'd be bothered even longer...lol so again, context on who this brad is would be helpful.

But if he were to call me another females name IN bed... I'd be so offended, again, it would be a forgivable offense, if it was a once off and great appologies were made and again depending on who the name belonged to would effect how the situation would make me feel. But I'm pretty sure I could forgive and forget a once off boo-boo like that... but I'd stew in the anger and hurt of it for a long time, I'm sure.

**jns** · 07-10-2011 11:12 PM

Make an endearing term a nickname and always call him it. Then use it for other lovers in the future.

**rcoreyus** · 07-11-2011 12:03 AM

I was once called the wrong name by a woman in bed. I just thought it was funny - didn't bother me. I knew she had slept with other men before, so why should I be offended if she made a mistake.

btw = this was 30 years ago, long before I was married or in a long term relationship.

**CHANDLERS WISH** · 07-11-2011 02:23 AM

How long have you been with this boyfriend?

At the beginning of my relationship with my now fiance, I called him Michael and he called me Jen a couple of times, it's normal if it's a newish relationship to refer to your past.

If he's been in your life for a long time, I'd understand him being upset but he needs to understand your brain pattern it's scattered, your mind goes from one thing to the next you are always thinking so you probably think before you act in life as well.

As for the credit cards I know why Mes bought that up. She's a smart cooky

If you think that he would do wrong by you, then you are with the wrong person in any event.

CW

**X_Tina** · 07-11-2011 08:22 AM

We talked again last night and he said he was sorry for saying we were over he was just mad. Brad is a friend of both of ours. Yeah I do get names mixxed up alot. In highschool I used to call my friends by the wrong names but they knew I was joking or that I mixxed up names because I have been hanging out with the other person lots.

Not really a new relationship, we have been together for 2 years. I am going to start working on this name thing so I don't mess up again.

We made up and yes I know things will be rocky for a while but all I can do is show him how much I love him and care for him. And I will be doing that alot.

**Seeker_Advice** · 07-11-2011 11:13 AM

Oh B.S..... Tell him you're sorry (you already did) and then assume he'll get over it. If he does, then great, if he doesn't, that's a HIM problem, not a You problem.

IF HE really loves you, as much as you love him, an apology is all any man whould need to hear...period.

Stop trying to do things for him to make up for it. It's history and can't be changed. HE needs to grow up and get over it. IMO.

I'd change ALL of my passwords and PINS today if I were you.

**Lorelei** · 07-11-2011 12:11 PM

I'm glad you guys talked it out and are working through things. But you should probably explain to him about the name thing.... if you've been together 2 years he might have even noticed it with other people before. Openness is always a good thing.