How do I get trust back?

**highanddry** · 07-26-2011 07:45 PM

My boyfriend and I have been together for a year and a half now. We have issues and we have been through a lot. I am trying to get us back to the point we were in by going through our problems and fixing them one by one. One of those problems is our trust. I ed up at the beginning of the relationship because I went to say hi to a friend (guy) who I had sexual relations with before...not actual sex but fooling round. Anyways I went with my friend Britt and I was talking about my boyfriend the whole time I was there this guys family was there I was real close with them so i just stopped by for a chat to catch up because I hadnt been in my hometown for a bit that was it. Anyways to me i felt that I didnt do anything wrong. Then a week later my boyfriend asked when the last time i saw that guy was because we were talking about our pasts which was a horrible decision but anyways i told him last week. Ever since then trust issues. It has been a year since then and trust is a major issue for us because of that situation. He says he has forgiven me and he isnt mad at me but he still feels iffy about our trust. What can I do to gain that back? Any suggestions?

**jns** · 07-26-2011 10:33 PM

If you and he have talked a lot and been together a lot, he should not hold talking to an ex against you in such a circumstance. It shows he is insecure or maybe mildly controlling. Does he show insecurity or a controlling behavior in other ways?

**Taos** · 07-31-2011 08:59 PM

highanddry,

Your boyfriend is immature or extremely jealous. I could care less if my girlfriend talked to one of her old boyfriends. I would care if she had sex with him after she became my girlfriend. But there is no trust issue arising from your talking with an old boyfriend.

Men are delusional if they think their girlfriends do not have sexual histories. I have yet to meet a woman who doesn't. Who she has had sex with before me is none of my business.

Take care,

Taos

**CHANDLERS WISH** · 08-10-2011 05:00 PM

Evident to me you still had a bit of a crush on that guy back then

But, you were just entering into a new relationship, more than likely you wanted to make sure that you were ready to move on, and you were why? Because you stayed with this guy, tell him that. And, never apologise for being honest, he asked a question and you told him the answer.

Boys do take time to grow up, Taos is right... But, if I was you? I'd tell him that trust is built on honesty, I was honest, our relationship was new, there was nothing in that, and I did nothing wrong.. If you don't trust me? If there is "iffy" then you are not the right one for me, I'm loyal and honest that's evident...Have a think about it... Think if you are happy and want to be with me because given I've done nothing wrong and was honest all that time ago I don't deserve to live months of being not trusted..