break up advice please!!
I need some advice on how to break up with my boyfriend.
He is the most special person in my life and also my best friend...
we been together for 2 years...and when we met i was married.
But me and my husband were already separated.
I then officially split up with my husband to be able to be with my new man.
But then things changed... now that we ''have'' each other i am so afraid of not being enough for him.
The thing is...
Being with him, no matter how amazingly he treats me...makes me feel insecure.
being this in love makes plays with my inner demons
So i would prefer to be single... since i went from one relationship to the other..
and i never really been single. always been in relationships.
And now im 30 and i think it would be good for my self esteem not to be so dependent on a man for my own happiness.
Yes all makes sense.
BUT i want to...or actually ...i need to keep him in me life
Cause we started off as friends...and became best friends very quickly...with an amazing connection...then we had sex one time...because we were both horny and it ended up being the most beautiful sex we both ever had...we tried for many months not to ''fall in love'' but...we did!!
and it got more and more and more intense...
till it tipped over
nothing bad has happened... but my insecurities are on a sky high...
and i cry a lot...because of small things... like him calling his other best friend everyday...who happens to also be a beautiful woman...who he has told me he is attracted too... but has NO feelings for...and i believe him!!! BUT it still triggers my sadness insecurities and i know its not fair on him...and i dont want to damage the beauty we have with my insecurities...
so i want to become stronger and feel more beautiful and independent and then i know silly little things wont affect me in a loving relationship.
SO what is the best way??
for us not to see each other for a while??
might be hard since we are neighbors too hahahaah
or to just decide...from now on we are ''just friends'' ??
im so afraid of losing him...because he is so important to me for sure!!
Give some kind of advice in all this confsusion!!
THANK YOU
There is no way to stuff the genie back in the bottle. It is very unlikely you can back this down to being just friends. I would say it is almost impossible.Originally Posted by love2love
Do you want to be in a relationship or not? If not, you have to deal with the pain of a breakup. If you want this relationship, you have to learn how to deal with your insecurities and maybe prove to yourself that he is faithful.
I have but one lamp by which my feet are guided, and that is the lamp of experience.
...
Shall we gather strength by irresolution and inaction? Shall we acquire the means of effectual resistance by lying supinely on our backs and hugging the delusive phantom of hope, until our enemies shall have bound us hand and foot?
Patrick Henry
In a Way, You have answered your own questions.
In the facts that you started as Friends, feel you are Best Friends now. In a relationship you are afraid to lose the Friendship that you have now if you go for a Committed Relationship like Marriage.
So , if it were me, I'd simply say I Love you Dearly,You are my Best Friend, I never want to Lose that part of US !
So lets start over, be friends, maybe go out once in awhile. Go out with others ( dates) or Groups.
Hi
It sounds like you are trying to run away from the intensity of your own feelings. Trying to run away from your own happiness in case it ends.
I dont think that you can run away from these things successfully.
It is almost as if you think things are so good that if they crumble away, it will be devastating - so to stop this happening you will destroy it early and thus avoid an unhappy ending by causing an early unhappy ending.
Maybe you should just seize the day and take every moment you can.
hi, i feel foru.i do understand yo position, ithink. listen girl, life is a tricky thing to get thru, u wont always get what u want or what u deserve, it sounds to me like u have an amazing connection with someone u appreciate, enjoy the closeness, marvel and wallow in this opportunity, ur 30 now u may look bck some years from now and wish u had just bathed in this which sounds like a beautiful thing, i connected with someone once, got scared andtalked (thought) myself out of it, years later realised after a lot of unsatisfactory relationships kept casting my mind back to alan, gathered the courage to go find him, that worked for a while coz he was as mad about me as i was about him but again life took over and i managed to convince myself i needed to see who i was without that connection, dependency call it what u may, im married now with kids but alan will always be the one that i let slip thru my fingers coz i ddnt grab life's opportunity when it was presented to me twice!! put yo insecurities aside for a few months and just concentrate on enjoying and appreciating being with someone like this person u describe, good luck to u
hi, i ddnt mean that 30 is old or that there's anything the matter, i think whilst ur in the midst of something its easy to find reasons to write it off, some reasons are good but some can be a bit clouded..
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