What exactly am I feeling?

**hanni** · 08-15-2011 11:49 AM

My boyfriend and I have been together for 3 years and have been living together, harmoniously, for 2. Obviously our relationship isn't perfect - no-one's is, but I'd say it's pretty good. We're respectful to each other, affectionate, make each other laugh, our sex life is normally good. But over the past few weeks I just haven't felt into it. He annoys me, I don't want sex, and the most worrying this is, I'm not even attracted to him...

What the is going on???!

Nothing else has changed - no changes to my/our lifestyle, jobs etc. There isn't anyone else involved or anything. Just one day I seem to have woken up and don't fancy my boyfriend, and now I'm wondering if I should even bother continuing the relationship!!

Please help!!

**jns** · 08-15-2011 01:10 PM

Something or someone changed making you annoyed. Maybe it was finally getting exasperated when he didn't put down the toilet seat for the 100th time.

You have to sit down and think about your relationship. Try writing down good qualities about your bf and bad ones. Do the same about yourself and the relationship. Then write down qualities that were there when you first got together for your bf, you and the relationship. Somewhere while writing the lists you will find your answer to what has changed. It may be your bf, it may be you or it may be in the relationship.

**KMonte85** · 08-15-2011 01:34 PM

perhaps you're getting bored, hanni? Complacent with the relationship?

You two have been together for a few years, you live together, everything is the same as it has been, you're both pretty happy with the way things have been going. As great as that is, the status quo can get old. What's been new and exciting? What's gotten your blood pumping lately? What have you and your boyfriend done together that has been interesting and fun?

If you're generally very happy with each other, compliment each other well, and have a good relationship, you might just need to work on reigniting that "spark" that got you together in the first place. How about a random weekend getaway spent together, exploring the sights (and each other)?

**hanni** · 08-16-2011 12:17 PM

I tried the list thing and as soon as I started I had huge amounts of positive things to say about him/the relationship and not a lot of bad ones. I do think it must be a case of having to re-ignite the 'spark'. And I've just booked us a little weekend away to do just that

Thanks ladies! xx

**KMonte85** · 08-16-2011 01:18 PM

you are very welcome, hanni! I'm happy to see that it just took a little reflection to make you see what a great man you've got. What are you and your boyfriend going to do on your weekend getaway? Does he know about it, or is it a surprise?

And just for the record, jns is a dude

**jns** · 08-16-2011 06:58 PM

Good luck and best wishes, hanni.

**oxy-moron** · 08-21-2011 08:15 PM

The “three-year glitch” has replaced the “seven-year itch” as the tipping point where couples start to take each other for granted, according to a new survey.
The findings showed that 67 percent of all of those surveyed said that small irritations that are seemingly harmless and often endearing during the first flushes of love often expand into major irritations around 36 months.

The top 10 everyday niggles and passion-killers were:

1. Weight gain/lack of exercise

2. Money & stinginess

3. Anti-social working hours

4. Hygiene issues

5. In-laws/extended family

6. Lack of romance

7. Alcohol

8. Snoring

9. Lapsed fashion

10. Bathroom habits

After the passion/wonderlust of the early part of the relationship is gone there is only reality - and you have to work at it to keep it going.

This will happen to any relationship unless it is worked on.