I've been dating this guy for less than a week....

**spearss** · 08-16-2011 12:03 AM

We have really been hitting it off great. We have seen each other every day since Thursday. We even joke about being each other's future hubby or wifey. I'm usually really critical of people I meet, but I can't find something about him that I don't like. It feels right and he feels perfect for me. He is always asking me when I'm going to be his girlfriend or where I see it going or when am I going to love him. I kind of take it in a joking way, but I feel like I'm seriously falling hard for him and I want to be his girlfriend. What's weird though is that he talks like that, but when I say I want to be his girlfriend, he just doesn't have much of a response. He thinks I'm going to get sick of him or something. Like I'm maybe too good for him? So he wants me to wait and see if I really want this. I have no doubt in my mind, but he keeps making me feel like I should. Idk what to do or what to say to him. I could see myself marrying this guy and I'm not usually like that. I'm very confident in the situation, but I'm questioning whether or not he is. Even though, he is always saying how much he likes me and wants me to stay around. I'm confused. Does anyone have any advice on why he's being like this or if I'm being stupid for feeling like I could marry him?

**Mes T** · 08-16-2011 12:48 AM

My opinion? You both need to slow down.

You're infatuated at the moment, but those feelings are going to pass. They are either going to be replaced by genuine love, which takes patience, compromise, and TIME to achieve... or they will die out and leave you with nothing.

Unless you've known him for a long time before starting to date him, I can confidently assume you two barely know anything about each other. What are his habits like? What would living with him be like? Will he treat you with as much reverence, be as romantic, once you guys become "official," or will the relationship become stale and uninteresting?

All I am saying is I think you are getting way too ahead of yourself. Just date him, get to know him, but don't analyze so deeply?

**CHANDLERS WISH** · 08-16-2011 01:42 AM

I agree with Mes.

I have to ask a question I hope you don't mind but have you slept with him yet?

I am not saying this, but this is also one of the oldest tactics on the earth to get someone to sleep with them and I wouldn't like that to be the case, hense why I am asking

Otherwise, it's so much fun when you first start out and he sounds like he has some confidence too, and if he is real, then he wants to be sure you are "falling in love" with him so no need to jump after 4 to 5 days, more like a few weeks at least..

CW

**Beautiful Disaster** · 08-16-2011 06:57 AM

Infatuation. It's the cold hard truth. We have all been there, we know the feelings, the rush of emotion, but don't fool yourself. It is far too soon to have "no doubts". Your heart is so very valuable, why not protect it a bit more than that? Not saying keep it under lock and key, but at least give a relationship time and give love time to grow. You shouldn't be pushing for girlfriend status at this point, and the fact that you are, is probably a bit concerning to him. Then will you push for engagement and then marriage? Why not let things happen naturally, enjoy this moment for what it is and see what happens?

**jns** · 08-19-2011 12:19 AM

Yep, infatuation. If you become a couple you will have to wait for him to catch up with you in the love department. You also have to talk to find out if you are compatible and you have to see if he is good to you. A lot of guys hide there true nature at the beginning, but later the girl finds out there are defects such as being selfish.

**WildChild** · 08-19-2011 07:26 AM

How old are you?
How old is he?

**nattynoona** · 08-25-2011 07:28 AM

I agree with all the above.

I'm fairly sure that majority of the women on here have all met someone at some point in their lives and, after only a short period of time, thought they could see themselves being with that person forever and so on. How many have ended up with that person becoming an ex? I would say a huge amount, most even! I bet there is not many who have ended up marrying and spending the rest of their lives with them.

I have been with my boyf for nearly 18 months, at the start i really could see myself being with him forever. But as time goes on, you really do get to find out what people are like and their habits.

While I do love him completely, i know we won't be together forever, he's just not the man for me. I know i shouldn't be with him for that reason, but he is possibly the nicest, sweetest, most genuine and laid back character i've ever met. It's hard to break up with a nice person! I need someone who will challenge me, not just a 'yes man'. But it took me nearly a year to realise and find that out.

My point being, take time to know him. Wade in slowly, don't jump in head first. Those rose-tinted specs are hard to remove!

**azalea** · 08-25-2011 01:01 PM

Sounds like every one else has already nailed it! It sounds like it's moving at an overwhelming speed, and if you're feeling confused or unsure already, then it probably won't be long until you feel in over your head. My best relationships have developed very, very slowly and steadily, and my worst ones hit off way too fast. I think it's a little bit alarming that he's asking when you're going to love him. I dated a guy who asked, on the first day I agreed to date him, "So, when are we going to do it?" and another guy who told me within a week of knowing that he loved me and started trying to force me to say it back (needless to say... I never slept with the first guy, and never loved the second guy.)

Be careful that he's not pushing you too fast! You're not stupid, just caught up in the excitement. Be careful not to get too terribly attached, there could be so many things that could still go wrong. You don't want to be engaged or married to him before you start discovering things about him that start making you question it.

**Elanor-Jane** · 08-29-2011 06:50 AM

eeek, me and my boyfriend had ONE date and then decided to be togther exclusively (he's 31, im 26) this was before sex, we just had an amazing lunch date which went for like 4 hours (sitting at the same cafe) SO i do believe things can feel right from the start without it JUST being infatuation, (there was alot of that)

granted this guy does seem a little sketchy.

**orchiddreams** · 09-13-2011 11:31 PM

a week is hardly enough time to find out he may be a cheater, rapist, thief, drug addict, narcissist, controlling psyhco.... Not trying scare you but think of the possibilities.

If you like him enjoy it, and take it slow. Give youself a chance and don't give away your heart so swiftly.

Right now you have pictured marriage- it's only been five days- slow your roll sister. Keep some aspects of the life you had before he was in the picture. In other words don't forget your friends- don't cling to him and don't let your fairytale dreams blund you.

I'm still surprised you are even THINKING marriage and it hasn't even been a week. It's taken me five years to make up my mind.