Thread: Ugh! Be strong... be strong... be strong.....

So I'm 22yrs old, just graduated college, I'm engaged and just got a new job an hour away from my mom in my fiance's town. So logically I moved out of my mom's home because, yes it's time, and in with my fiance... and his mother... yeah! So I did it anyway because we are going to do what we can to save every penny for not only our wedding but a home to purchase after our June wedding. The thing that I'm having an issue with is... I miss my mom, my old home, my horses (which are staying with my mom until we get a home) and my friends. Everything. I'm bored at his house after work and he is a CO and does swaps which means he is gone like 4 days, home 3 days. So it's me alone with his mom. I have never lived with someone other than my mom before and we had our rules, our chores and our routine. I know it's time to leave the nest but I've flown into a nearby tree and look at my mom's nest all day.

Well I brought my dog with me, I've had her 10years and at my mom's home she knew how things were done and knew how to let us know she had to pee but here she doesn't. She barks. They say they are not worried about it and it doesn't bother them but every bark stresses me out so bad. I'm actually glad when my fiance goes to work because it's one less person I have to worry that I'm bothering, even though i know he doesn't mind it. I just can't help but think I am disrupting their lives. I go to work and can't wait to come home but then I'm here and can't wait to go back to work. I turned my whole life upside down in 11 days. Left my old job that i'd been at for 4yrs, left my whole life 'up north' and moved an hour away.

Then there is my mom. She is devastated, we both knew this time would come but didn't know how bad it would hurt us both. I call her and she says she went grocery shopping and then got nothing at the store because she realized it's just her and we have plenty of food for just her. When we go to say good bye and hang up the phone I hear her voice crack and I know she is crying when we've hung up and it kills me. She doesn't have many... well any.. friends and gets super lonely so all i can think about is that she's home alone with no one to talk to. I've taken care of my mom more than she realized and now she sees the world without me and I know it's killing her inside. I've called my brother who lives 'up north' with her and made him promise to call more every other day or see her every other day to make sure she is okay.

Maybe i'm being a drama queen but i have no clue where this post even brought me haha I didn't even bother with punctuation or spelling so I hope this isn't too hard to read. Anyone else been in this position and have some advice? I am trying to let go of my mother but I just feel like I'm turning my fiance and his mother's lives upside down. His mother is old, like late 70's? and sleeps most of the evening, leaving me here, in his room, alone with my dog While my mom is 'up north' alone too. I want to be with her so bad but at the same time I know this is the right time to go our ways, right? I don't know. I should stop now haha Sorry for rambling, I'm done now