Desperately need advice re my open relationship. PLEASE HELP!

**CHANDLERS WISH** · 08-21-2011 03:49 AM

Oxy you always give such good advice, I am glad that you are on this Forum

I think the mutual friends rules is fair after all it causes gossip and maybe he respects you and therefore doesn't ever want any bad labels against you have you ever thought about that?

Hun, you chose to snoop man that just sends people nuts, what if, oh no, does he and so forth....

Ask yourself honestly and firstly WHY did you agree to an open relationship because all I see? Is a girl whom met a guy fell for him agreed to an open relationship as not to lose him, so what it's just a one night, it's me he will fall for, given you haven't done it yourself, then checking to see if he has and then been devistated.

You did this not to lose him right? Not because you want an open relationship and want to sleep with other guys

Stand for yourself woman.

Open relationships if you are not wanting to experiement and try different men but love someone you can do that.

But, if you only want him, pine for him, pretend? Then you are false advertising yourself and also putting yourself into an area you don't believe in...So talk to him and tell him the truth. If I am right.

**oxy-moron** · 08-21-2011 08:04 PM

CW is right- it is one sided and I cant see what you are gaining from it except to keep him happy.
You need to do some sole searching and work out what you really want from a relationship.
Do you see yourself ever wanting to sleep with someone for the thrill of it without any emotional bond. If so then Open relationships may suit.
However if you will only ever want to sleep with someone you feel you could be bonded with then it is probably not for you and you are just making yourself vulnerable to being repeatedly hurt.

**Elanor-Jane** · 08-22-2011 05:33 AM

an open relationship (which u agreed to) can encompass having sex with whoever, and looking for sex with whoever and texting whoever as its an OPEN relationship, why were you ok with it if you obviously arnt interested in sleeping with anyone else? how are people supposed to conduct an open relationship with out communication such as txt, would u prefer he just see prostitutes? (this would probably be preferable if he wants variety and u want him to have no emotional connections with anyone but you---im being serious) this is very confusing and it sounds as though u only agreed to it in the hope that he would only want to sleep with you. but when a woman or man says "yeah im good" with an arrangement the other (in this case being the guy youre seeing) goes "yeah cool, that suits me" and goes about finding whatever because they have been told by the other person that its ok to do so, it technically shouldnt cause any issues. you say that your ok with him having sex with other women but you know in your heart that you are not. i wouldnt be going anywhere with anyone or continuing this relationship in an open capacity. it sounds more like a casual relationship as you havent set up enough rules, and your NOT ACTUALLY HAPPY WITH THE FACT HES LOOKING ELSEWHERE as you yourself are not looking elsewhere
i dont know why women waste theyre time on stuff like this unless they want to have sex with other people.