Really messed up situation pleae advice! :( Very down....

**missunshiine** · 09-02-2011 09:37 PM

lets say he could of been alittle more honest with me since day one...
i started dating this guy ...i was totally heartbroken from my past... but i gave myself a chance..
well we talked for a couple weeks then made it official kind of quick. But it was ok we got along so well,and
had alot in common...well he told me he was a drug dealer when i first started talking to him and i was like hm ok...ill take it like w.e u know..
but he ended up being like a REAL dope boy in miami selling coke and everything..so i started sleeping over his house on weekends..his parents sister and brothers loved me.
hes been in longer relationships but ours was really strong i was so good to him and he realized i was trying to make him a better man i was always there for him..
Ok so hes turning 26 im 19. Um..start getting really attached..i start missing work and sleeping over his house 4 to 6 days a week just to be with him...i did everything with him that u can name in this world. we were always so happy and doing something new.
Um...came to a point were he loved me so much he wanted me to move in and we started trying to get me preggo...2months past nothing happend another month did still not pregnant but he claimed me as his babymomma..well through out our relationship. i started noticing, hes in alot of .
like...he has 13 records and there not little mistakes of teenage years it was like recent like 2004 till now. He started getting warrants in the mail..all of sudden i find out hes on probation. Then he tells me his license is suspended for idk how long like 2 years already...um he always had a gun with him.
Lets say i was trying to better him then myself. I was always worrying being there for him. they broke his face once i was there just about everything and he always use to tell me that i make him better he never felt the way he did with any other ex gf that he went with longer then me..
WELL ..here comes in the f'd up part...August i had to work ALOT. so i didnt go to his crib..so hes like ok babe ill work too..soo we were fine till like it the 2nd week and he doesnt really hit me up like somethng was bothering him...well we talked hes like i love you dadada ok fine. so friday comes didnt talk
to him for a couple days which was weird and he calls me so im like hey babe wasup. hes like i love you so much and i finally found someone who i care about and do anything for but my ex is pregnant...im like wat??? He told me in the begining that he hasnt seen this chick for a year and shes bi, and shes really into girls or whatever. so im like how is she preggo ? So we argued i cryed i told his mom eveeryone he called me back like 10 times cause i was going nuts.
hes like idk what to do but i know thats my kid cause im the only guy shes been with and i just know its my baby. im like WTF is that ur kid if u havent been with her unless u lied to me? so he finally confessed that he slept 2months before he met me but the reason why he didnt tell me was because he doesnt care for her and didnt think it was gana happen. So im like really? oviously if u sleep wit a girl unprotected theres a possibility. So what happen was...he basically broke up with me and hes like i have so much stressed and my problems and i dont wanna be with this girl at all but i need to be by her side.
What hurt me the most is that he threw babymama in my face like..cmon really? thats what u called me and ur saying it like nothing so hes like im sorry what u want me to do. u were suppose to be my babymama. . So he basically didnt talk to me at ALL. so i would text him how hurt i was and just a bunch of like wtf? like after everything ive done and what we were planning u dip on me like that. So now. He had text me back our first week broken up. "pls dont txt me at the app. with babymama she gana get mad" IM LIKE REALLY? I WAS UR CURRENT GF , U DONT WNNA BE WITH THIS GIRL SO WTF IS IT A PROBLEM WITH HER? so i texted him a bunch of he wrote me back pretending it was her saying dont text my babydaddy so i went off and said alright ricky go on that level.
and hes like im not with her im doing it for the baby. So yeah he doesnt talk to me at all! like if i never exsisted never met nothing. so now im here hurt. i know hes going to suffer cause i mean seriously i was his all. and he has so many memories like CRAZY. and his family loved me..and this girl is so not even cute and oviously just dumb she told him when she was 5months this month. Funny thing is that she called his sister like our second month going out just to say hey to her dont u think she would of been a couple of months why didnt she open her mouth? Like idk what to do. im not emotionally messed up. i miss him and love him so much..its like wow how is he being so messed up. So...we havent talked at ALL except when i got into an accident sunday and he called to see if i was ok but he was putting on this like BADBOY voice acting all hard and then was basically like ight take care. So i texted him saying i miss him today just to tell him i know he wouldnt talk to me he hasnt...
but he texts back..." u dont miss noone u got all these guys on ur fb lol...dale" SO IM LIKE WTF? um those r all my homeboys and they all know about you so idk why ur assuming like i went off and he didnt text me back..the only thing thats been letting me kind of let go is just looking at the postives and negatives like all his problems and oviously he lied to me, and what if i was pregnant too u know? like hes not going to sell drugs all his life. hes lucky he has a retail job because he knew the manager and like he always told me he was scared to lose it because he wont be able to get another job..so idk what to do in this situation SORRY SO LONG lmao.
like he has all my stuff over there i got him into so many things like its crazy u know we were so good and happy. and its just messed up how he is. He gave me things he never gave to any other girlfriend. his childhood stuff his grandmothers stuff that passed away i have all that u know and i know he thinks about it cause he loved his childhood things...i use to sleep with him every night dinner breakfest going out playing games making up things or just anything it was crazy. he knew i never felt this way and for him to do this to me idk if hes ashamed of himself thats why he doesnt talk to me but seriously it shoulded matter, he could of easily said look me and my gf shes trying to get pregnant or this is my girl ill be there for the baby but u have to respect im in a relationship , but no..its like im thrown to the side..now...i constantly think about it how messed up..idk what to do. please advice.

**Mes T** · 09-02-2011 10:40 PM

Hi hun. Okay I am really glad that you didn't get pregnant when you two were trying, because look what a mess this has become. Can you imagine being pregnant as well?

Your relationship moved extremely fast, and that rarely works out in real life. Now he realizes he's going to be a father (to another woman's baby), and I think that's sort of come as such a shock that he doesn't even want to think about having a girlfriend. Or maybe he's trying to re-kindle his relationship with his ex, as she's now officially his "babymama."

I know it's heartbreaking to be thrown aside like this, but your relationship sounded really unhealthy (missing WORK just to spend time together? not cool)... and I think this break-up might be a really good thing, in the end.

I would encourage you to stay single for a while. You mentioned you were heartbroken over your last relationship when you started seeing this guy... Well I think it's best to completely heal from past relationships before moving on to a next one. Clean slate, kind of thing. Otherwise you're going to be caught in this whirlwind of men and their drama, and that can get quite draining after a while.

And... a drug dealer? Sheesh. I think you can do better.

**missunshiine** · 09-03-2011 12:02 AM

Thank you alot!! i really needed advice on that . And yeah i was pretty confused, he told me he doesnt want to be with her at all but WHO KNOWS. And yes i think your right i should stay single for a while and focus on me! i have a future! :] thanks xox.

**azalea** · 09-07-2011 04:07 PM

Originally Posted by missunshiine

And yes i think your right i should stay single for a while and focus on me! i have a future! :]

I'm glad you see it that way! A life with a guy like that could end up so badly... for all you know, he's involved in gangs, and there could be violence, and threats to your life. I'm really glad you didn't get pregnant, or the rest of your life would be affected by this guy. Never let anyone try to get you pregnant unless you really feel you are at a point in your life where you're ready for it, and it's with a man who would be both a loving partner and father. This guy is not going to be a great father, and I feel bad for his poor soon-to-be baby.

**CHANDLERS WISH** · 09-07-2011 06:27 PM

Honey you do have a future.

Just all the "ums" at the beginning to me were, "will they understand?" but look what you un-covered over this time, information you knew nothing about, one by one by one by one.

Imagine, he can't drive for 2 years, then it will be another 2, then 5, he has been "bashed" from the sounds of it, from a group, in-front of you? What if it was you, to teach him a lesson? He has warrant after warrant, that means he will end up in jaol, what 1 year? 2 years? Then life? And, in addition, is ex is pregnant and he has the nerve to say he loves you but hey, go away, I have a child on it's way so I am going back to her.. I feel sorry for the baby as well being bought into this life, probably never going to see it's father, know it's father..

You are safe now, be safe and stay safe.

Just because someone says "I love you" they are words, but it doesn't mean that is all you deserve.. Get on with your goals, dreams, you stopped work and got caught up probably in the excitement of something different but you don't belong in that mess, you belong to yourself, someone who will be happy in life, love and live and have that picket fence with a little one with someone who loves you for you...

Don't go back what ever you do.

YOU HAVE A FUTURE...

**missunshiine** · 09-12-2011 04:01 PM

Thankyou! that means alot im happy you guys care! xoxoxox

**CHANDLERS WISH** · 09-12-2011 04:52 PM

We care.

You'd be suprised at what each woman has gone through in life, to get where she needs to go in life...

If only there was somewhere for everyone, at every part of their journey in life to have thought of coming to, you never know the direction that those woman would have taken.

I hope you fullfill all your dreams

And, use this thread maybe as a point of "finding" yourself. We often know what to do but keep where we are, before finally taking that leap ..But when we do, it's amazing as what's out there is more beneficial, en-lightening, fun and adventurous, and trust me, you will be alot happier when that time comes.