Thread: Boyfriend unwilling to loan me a mere $50?

Ummm...I feel like if he is going to commit to you and is serious about staying committed to you, then $50 isn't a big deal to loan your girlfriend for a day. It would be a nice gesture, showing that he cares. But I don't think he sees you as deeply as you may think if he's not willing to help you out in your time of need. He's not willing to make your life more comfortable or convenient for a day when you promised you'd pay him back the next day, to me that shows he doesn't care about you enough in your relationship.

Of course he doesn't owe it to you to loan anything...but how many boundaries does a relationship need to have if the motive in the relationship is to build it on to something bigger? If he sees you as a friend with benefits, a financial boundary does seem necessary, but if he honestly and truly cares about you, he would've helped out.

But I agree with everyone else, if that $50 to him was needed for his own bills and he didn't have it to loan, that is understandable. We on this end don't know his financial situation enough though. Why did you need it that it was so urgent? I have had to pay my bills late before for lack of money. I would rather my bills be late than to borrow money to pay them on time. But thats just me. I feel like its my fault for not having the money when I needed it, so a whack on my credit score is what I have to pay, then so be it.

I would have to agree with the others. If was in his shoes and had not been dating someone for very long, I would not have loaned the $50 either. I think he could have maybe met you in the middle, maybe loaned you half of it and you come up with the other half. $50 might have been a lot of money to him no matter what kind of job he has. Now, if you two had been dating steadily for a year or so, the request for a loan from him might have been received more positively. It's better not to get in to financial obligations so early in to a relationship.

I don't loan money, period. I have some close friends who are always broke, and while I feel bad for them (even if it's their own fault, as is usually the case) I won't lend them money. Some people just don't, and I personally have found it to be a good policy. If someone wants to get uppity with me because I have money and won't loan it to them, they are not someone I want to keep around.

Originally Posted by rosekitten

I don't loan money, period. I have some close friends who are always broke, and while I feel bad for them (even if it's their own fault, as is usually the case) I won't lend them money. Some people just don't, and I personally have found it to be a good policy. If someone wants to get uppity with me because I have money and won't loan it to them, they are not someone I want to keep around.

I am the same way - I don't loan money anymore. If I feel compelled, I will give money as a gift or I will pay what they need so I know the money is going toward that specific need. I have loaned money to a couple of friends with a promise that they would pay me back within a week and I never saw it again.

Bleah, seriously? Unless he's completely broke... not coming up with 50 dollars for you when you need it is a bad sign of his selfishness, or his lack of interest in 'caring' for you ... as in 'taking care' of you. I'm in no way shape or form a goldigger. I believe in splitting the costs of dates when its a steep bill or if I'm the one that inniciated where we are going, paying for it in its entirety etc.. I don't expect lavish gifts -- but dude, 50 dollars? Thats a dinner and a movie date, essentially... and if he doesn't feel you are worth that to him, if this is seriously the first time you've asked him for money and isn't some habit, if he is seriously financially stable... there is not really any excuse , in my opinion for him not helping you. You are not his ex, you shouldn't have to pay for her 'sins'.

Because he let some girl take advantage of him, doesn't mean he should be extrodinarily stingy to you... in the same way you shouldn't harass the heck out of him for being unfaithful because your last bf cheated... its the same concept.

I'm sorry if I asked my man to borrow something I know good and well would be no skin off his back and he told me to go to someone else... I would take that as a sign that i should go to someone else for my other needs as well. He's your partner, your boyfriend, your love, why SHOULDN'T he be the one you go to when you are in need? Why should you care for his needs, sexual, emotional, whatever, when he tells you to get yours met elsewhere... bleah...

Sorry I know this isn't a popular view, but 50 bucks? Like I said if he's struggling , then its understanable him asking you to go elsewhere.. but if he has it fine, and is just being a jerk about it... I'd be really careful to make sure he cares as much as you hope he does.