Boyfriend watches porn...
Hello everyone... (:
Me and my boyfriend have been together 6 months and we're both really happy. However, due to work commitments, he has to go away every so often, so when he does, we do our dirty business on cam, as you do. But here's the problem: on 3 occasions, half way through our business, I heard a girl moaning coming from his end.. but then he clicked quickly, muting it or something. In other words, I heard him watching porn -- whilst we were being dirty! Sometimes, he even mutes his mic for a few minutes, as if hiding something.
The first time, I ignored it and thought it was probably his tv. The second occasion put me off a little bit, but I carried on. However, on the 3rd occasion I asked him about it. He denied it, of course. First he tried to blame himself by saying "It was probably just me moaning like a girl!" - I didn't find that as funny as he did. Then he suggested that maybe I was hearing things. And then it was "I can't believe you'd think that of me, I'm a little upset that you would." - which left me feeling really bad.
Now, I am NOT stupid. I know when I hear a girl moaning, almost screaming. I am NOT paranoid, and I don't have any trust issues. I trust him completely, but I know what I hear.
The thing is, it wouldn't be so bad if he just admitted it. Fair enough, I would have been a little upset, but I would have appreciated his honesty greatly. But I'm just hurt that he lied to me, and even made me feel like I was paranoid..
I understand that guys have needs, and need variety - fair enough. If he watches porn in his own time when I'm not there.. well, I can't say I'm happy about it but I'd never stop him, providing he doesn't tell me about it afterwards. And he knows that.
Why would he do this? Not only does he have dirty pictures of me.. I was on cam too! It makes me feel pretty worthless... and sick to my stomach, if I'm completely honest.
In real life, we're pretty crazy in that department... but I don't know. It just distracts me when I think about it..
Now please, I want you to be brutally honest with me.
All replies are greatly appreciated.
Thanks.
P.S. I apologise if my post hasn't really been clear or even made sense... it's 6am here and I haven't had any sleep.
It would appear to me that your BF has issues with HONESTY.
If he's not being honest about this stupid little charade, what else is he not being honest about?
He's only making it worse by telling you more lies "it was me moaning like a girl...tee hee".
It would be a red flag for me...
IMO - it's time to have a honest, open, face to face conversation with your BF about it.
I agree with Seeker, the main issue here is "lying" if he can't feel comfortable to explain why he wants to view you and another woman at the same time, then your relationship is doomed.
Maybe he feels that you wouldn't understand... Maybe you wouldn'tNot sure if I would be happy with that, given that I would be giving all of me to him any way I can...
If your relationship is quiet raunchy, do you think that he may have a fantasy of a threesome?
Do we not realise that in order to find a soul
It doesn't happen over night
if truth were to be told.
Like everything in life that's hard to achieve
you must believe!
Yeah...it would make most anyone feel cruddy I expect. What if he found out that you were watching big buff men do their thing on porn while you were supposed to be paying attention to him? And I mean, for goodness sakes...how many men who are in LDR's would kill to have their girlfriend do naught stuff on cam for them!?! Here he has it, and that's not even good enough? Eh.... I don't like it. I also don't like the dishonest (as the others have said) and the trying to make you feel like you're jealous and crazy as a result. This is not a good sign in a partner.
"Be what you're looking for."
"The next time you're thinking of kicking someone when they're down, offer them your hand and help them back up instead."
I'm going to agree with the fact that the issue here seems to be the lying part. I would openly tell your BF how it made you feel since you were (like you said) giving yourself to him and you feel like it wasn't enough and then on top of it, he lies to you. He has to understand that if you all can't have an honest relationship, then you don't have much. If he confesses, I'd ask him *why* he lied and also what exactly he liked about he watching porn in addition. If it makes you uncomfortable, tell him so. Tell him exactly what you told us...that you understand he may do that when you're not there, but when you are virtually there, that you'd appreciate if you kept it the two of you.
Hope it works out!
If you smile when no one else is around, you really mean it.
-Andy Rooney
It is discouraging how many people are shocked by honesty and how few by deceit.--Noel Coward
Live your life and forget your age. --Norman Vincent Peale
My husband does this to. He watches porn when I'm not home, or when he's in the bedroom and I'm in the living room he watches it and whacks it. Honestly, he whacks it more than we have sex. I don't like it, but I told him as long as I'm not home I don't really care, especially if we had sex more often.
AM, have you had a conversation with your bf yet?
I have but one lamp by which my feet are guided, and that is the lamp of experience.
...
Shall we gather strength by irresolution and inaction? Shall we acquire the means of effectual resistance by lying supinely on our backs and hugging the delusive phantom of hope, until our enemies shall have bound us hand and foot?
Patrick Henry
I completely understand you, if my husband do that behind my back, i would be very upset too. I think you should talk to your boyfriend and be honest to him , tell him how you feel, sexual things is pretty important in a relationship. I hope you all the best!
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