I need to get this off my chest

**TaraLynn** · 10-08-2011 10:09 PM

I have been "in the closet" about being bisexual and very very few people know about it. My husband knows and he is fine with me being interested in women as well as men (as long as he is the only man). Anyways, I went out the other night with some lady friends and I let them in on my secret. Most of the ladies were okay with me and me being bisexual. One of the ladies though, gave me a lecture about marriage and manogamy (she is single by the way) and how I shouldn't be hitting on EVERYONE that walks by. I am completely faithful to my husband, however my husband is very much okay with me exploring my sexuality. He has no problem with me meeting up with another woman and having "relations" and such. The lady that lectured me also works with my husband and I have a feeling that she is going to talk to him as well. Maybe I shouldn't have gone out with them the other night.......

**magsnannie69** · 10-09-2011 12:08 AM

Hi there... I wouldn't worry about the other person who went on her plight of telling you why it is wrong. she is not you and therefore would not understand. it's not like your husband doesn't know and of course he is ok with it..its every mans fantasy lol. Like you i have been attracted to women but have never persued anything. My partner knows of my yearnings too and accepts it although in his times of jelousy, states he has more to be insecure about because there is a threat by both sexes..lol.
it's noty an easy thing to tell friends in fear of judgment nor even rejection. I have passed some of my truths as jokes to put my feelers out to how people will react.
Did you tell your partner about the night and what this woman said? i would be getting in first before he hears any from her at work.
your being honest to yourself and thats all you can do in this life. Hope it all works out for you!!!

**TaraLynn** · 10-09-2011 12:30 AM

As soon as I got home I told my husband everything. He said that if she brings anything up, he will take care of it.

**TaraLynn** · 10-12-2011 09:05 AM

Ugh, so I just found out that my husbands co-worker didn't want to take me out with them. I believe she said 'i dont want to get drunk with her.' her roommate and I were kinda hitting on eachother during girls night and I think that really pissed her off. So much for me getting invited out for another girls night. 

**Cyndie32** · 10-12-2011 09:17 AM

you don't need friends like that anyway.

**KMonte85** · 10-12-2011 09:27 AM

Sounds like your husband's co-worker is a toxic person you don't want to be around anyway. People like that drive me crazy. Why can't you hang out with the other girls without her? This isn't highschool. She's not the leader of the pack and can tell the other friends who they're allowed to spend time with. And if she is, well then, consider yourself lucky for finding out now... so you can go out and meet new people, make new girl friends who are a lot more openminded and kind.

**Little** · 10-12-2011 10:39 AM

People like that are rude. I'm bisexual, though in my marriage we are strictly monogamous, regardless of gender, it is not up to me to tell you what to do in yours - just like it's not up to her! It seems that she fails to understand bisexuality on a basic level. Just because you're attracted to both genders, you suddenly want to hit on everybody that goes by? That doesn't even make sense. Let her go her own way, and don't worry about her misinformed opinion.

**TaraLynn** · 10-12-2011 09:39 PM

I agree she is toxic. She has her grubby fingers in everyones pies, so its hard to talk to anyone without her butting in. She even had the nerve to tell my husbands supervisor that I am abusive to my husband and kids! Thankfully though, my counselor and our marriage counselor know that I am not like that.

**KMonte85** · 10-13-2011 06:48 AM

Oh my goodness Tara! That is taking things too far. It's one thing if she is a snotty, obnoxious, judgemental, and closeminded person. Those are easy to deal with - you stop acknowledging their existence.

It is another thing if she is slandering you to your husband's supervisor - this is harrassment! That is MUCH more serious than some jerky busybody. That sort of report could have serious consequences! What if the supervisor took her words to heart and called social services on your family? (And in case you didn't know, in many companies supervisors are REQUIRED to go to authorities with those sorts of reports - mine is that way) Even if her accusations are 100% UNTRUE, you could have a file started on you and be investigated by CPS.

I think you and your husband need to take this VERY seriously, and talk to someone at human resources, and possibly even the police. She needs to know that what she's doing is wrong and could land her in legal trouble so she stops trying to ruin your homelife! That woman is batpoop crazy

**jns** · 10-23-2011 03:18 PM

TL, any updates in this. According to your profile and location, you are living around a lot of military wives, if I had to guess. This may make the situation more difficult. Do you have locals in your group of friends?