Thread: is my boyfriend gay?

This is the first time i have used a forum so please excuse me if i dont make much sense.

My problem or worry should i say is my boyfriend. We have been together for 2 and a half years, lived together for 1year and everything was good until the other day i looked on his email account, and saw that he had emailed an escort agency and asked a lady if she would use a 'strap on' but make it sensual. to start with i felt totally sick. i asked him about it and he explained that he had been watching porn and wondered what it felt like so he 'stupidly' (his words not mine) emailed this escort but never took things further. i was totally gutted and hurt. I continued to be with him and today i looked again and this time saw he had a message from a gay dating site, i clicked on it and discovered that he has a profile on there, his adver is very blunt and basically asking for gay sex and that is all. it also says he is into 'anal'. i am now totally confused and dont know if he is gay or not or even how i should approach it, as i know i shouldnt have been looking on his emails in the first place and if i hadnt looked i would never have known. oh also he is always talking about trying anal with me, which i thought was kinda normal for a guy but now im not so sure.
please can someone help me and try and give me some advice.
Thank you

I think you have a right to know who you're with. Perhaps he's bisexual, but you have a right to know this about someone you're living with and committing yourself to. Yeah, you snooped, but consider it being pointed in the right direction. In my opinion, what he's doing on those sites is nothing short of cheating. He's TRYING to find someone to cheat with and you have no way of knowing if he has or has not. It doesn't matter whether it's male or female, cheating is cheating. He's living a deceitful life with you.

So you have two choices, confront him about this in a calm way, let him know you had suspicions you couldn't shake, and found this information to reaffirm your suspicions. Then ask him to come clean about his sexuality, his deceitfulness, and most importantly, his cheating. OR, you can decide for YOURSELF that regardless of this mans sexualilty, you don't want to be with someone who leads a double life, with someone who actively pursues people on line to cheat on you with, that you don't want to expose yourself to STD's that he may or may not bring into your home carelessly. My advice is to do the latter.... because you truly shouldn't be willing to settle for someone that does this kind of thing behind your back.