Thread: I Feel Really Stupid

This relationship has been over for a while.
You are like that old dog no one wants to
put to sleep.

Either you leave now, and don't look back
or wait until he throws you out and moves
in his new girl.

You are in a abusive relationship and you need to get out of it as soon as possible before its too late. The reason why you think you cannot be with someone else is because you have never been with someone that treats you the way you suppose to be treated, with love, respect, understanding....
The day you decide to walk out of this relationship for good, would be the hardest thing you have ever done but the greatest thing you will ever do for you and your kids and when you find someone else that treat you the way a woman suppose to be treated you will thank god for giving you that courage to get up an leave.

What you need to do is start taking pictures of those bruises.Tell someone about whats going on, could be a close friend, family member, co worker or anyone you can trust. Make a plan and leave. Start saving money secretly from him, this will benefit you. The best thing to do is leave, you will not regret it in the long run.

Thanks guys for the responses! Kaylar I don't want to be referred to as a dog, theres more to whats going on than what I have explained. And its my house that we were living together at so there is no way he would be able to throw me out, that is why I had said I told him to leave and he did. Although I know what his reasons are for being out late all the time, I'd rather not say on here. And everytime we have fought and I have left him, I always took him back because he would show up at my home, call me, show up at my school, apoligizing and I woulld always give in. Anyways the reason I posted in the first place was because I have thrown him out again, and I just feel the need for some advice on what to do. I know it may sound stupid, but apart of me feels like I need him, when in reality I know I don't. I have been the full time parent to our children all these years, I know he loves his kids but theres just some things that he puts before all of us and I'm sick of it. I can't really explain what my feelings are right now, my emotions are are tangled up. I feel confused, angry, sad, frustrated, and a little part of me feels relieved. I don't know I guess girls or women that have been in these types of relationships understand more than women that haven't. People say get out like its easy, but it really isn't. But I have taken the first step the other night and I have not spoke with him at all the rest of yesterday. So I'm gonna try and please I don't want no negative feedback.

when a man starts to treat a woman like an old shoe, then
(to avoid the idea of the big shaggy dog that no one wants
to put to sleep) it's time to quit.

YOu did the right thing. You have become accustomed to
him. (that's why I used the dog analogy) But love can not
be what you are experiencing.

I'm not being negative, I'm framing this in an objective
manner so you can disconnect from your feelings and
view it from across the room.

Every abused woman can sit down and give me 'wonderful
times we used to have"...five minutes here,
thirty minutes there, maybe even a whole hour six months
ago.

Look at the past clearly.
Don't forget the ugly pieces around the pretty part.

He's not a good example for the children.

First of all I'd like to say good on you for having your own house!!
I am in a similar position as you, as you may have read on the other site, I too met my husband when I was young and have been with him ever since.
Fact is he is a pig and I am just let him get away with it, his mother detested me and he told me that if I ask him to choose between me and her, I would lose!!Now you don't get much clearer than that. Our marriage almost ended because of his parents.
Anyway, enough about me..what I wanted to say was, you have a choice..and you have to make the right one.
The advice that I can give you is listen to your heart, that would be the first place to start, once you have made the decision it will become easier. Sounds to me like you have already decided what to do, so try not to backtrack. Yes, I know first hand that it is not easy to walk away, it is probably one of the hardest things to do, after all you do have kids with this man and in reality he will be part of your life forever.
Out of curiosity...have you taken him back since you last threw him out?
All the best to you and hope everything works out...

Thank you again for you responses, I guess Kaylar I was just upset and didn't really think about the terminology you used and why you meant it like that. And to Ronnie thank you for your kind words, no I have not took him back, I haven't even spoke with him. We have our children and I figure that if wants to see them he knows where there at and he can call me to arrange something. I am feeling a little better today than I was yesterday. I will be honest many times in the past I did take him back, only because because hes the only guy Ive really been with. He was my first, we have children together, we stuck it through all this time. But now I feel things are different, I have realized that I don't want this anymore, especially since I know he could never change. The time he gave me an STD I was only 17 and had found out while I was in the hospital about to have his son. I was so hurt, and I felt so lost, I broke up with him again during that time, but this was the first time he cheated and I just had a baby, a premature baby at that, that was hospitalized. The added stress took a toll on me. Now I sometimes wish I would have just left him than for good, but than I would never have my babygirl who is my youngest out of my kids. When he calls me from block he tells me its because he doesn't want me knowing his friends numbers, basically he uses the excuse because a few months ago, I use to call his friends phone to get a hold of him because he was always with him. He says he doesn't trust me and thinks I just want to talk to his friends, only because a few times I called he was not with his friend and me and his friend talked a little bit. Not flirting or nothing just small talk. Anyways since then he blocks the numbers. So anyways I had my mom stay with me last night, and she will be staying with me for the rest of the week. That would make a lot easier to ignore him, because he wont show up with my mother there, he doesn't get along with my mother anymore. And yeah there are times where he can be good, we don't fight or argue, he will hold me and tell me things like I love you and I'm beautiful. The only thing is when hes out and I'm home, when hes blaming me for him being upset, when hes accusing me of cheating, I just realized I cant take it anymore. I don't even have that many friends, alot of my old friendships are gone because of him, he is so jelous, controlling, I can't even go out with anyone to have a good time without him getting mad about it so I've learned to not do it. But I'm just miserable with him.