I'm 24 years old, I have three children two girls and a boy, I am just really depressed. I have been with my boyfriend for nine years, he has put me through and I have always stuck with him because I loved him that much. Anyways when I say through I mean literally through , he has cheated on me and gave me an STD, he has put me down, put me last in his life, comes in late, and is very abusive. I can't even hang out at my moms or sister's houses without him calling me and telling me to be home at a certain time, and if I'm not all breaks loose. Yet he is out every night out of the week and comes home when he feels like it, regardless of the time. When I don't answer his calls for whatever reason he leaves me messages on my voicemail calling me names and threatning to break my phone. I'm just so stressed out I don't know what to do, there are times where he can be nice, we laugh, go out and do things together, but other times its really bad. I'm just so tired of it, I am the mother of his kids I don't deserve this treatment from him. I know its to stay with someone like that for so long, but honestly I felt like I couldn't be without him, I think I was a bit insecure. And he always has a way of making me feel low. He doesn't have a cell phone so when he calls me he uses friends phones but he always blocks the number which I think is suspicious. Anyways when he calls he always has to call me some type of name, whether its playing around or just him being an a$$hole. He doesn't care who he direspects me in front of. Also he spends more time at his mothers house than he does ours, I don't talk to his mother anymore mainly because she had a lot of bullsh*t to say about me a few months back, since then I don't feel the need to talk to her. But during that time when she was talking all her bull me and him had split up, whenever I would call to tell him the kids need something, or I need money for something, his family would act towards me and hang up on me. They even changed their number and didn't want to give it to me! Now me being with him through everything, when he got in trouble it was me he came to, when he wanted to talk it was me he could talk to, I just always been there for him even though he treated me like sh*t!
Well besides that he has made it clear to me that his other family came first to him, when it came between me and his mom, he chose her side over mine. Even though I have been there for him, and his mother left him to comfort her husband when his stepdad physicall and sexually abused him, she basically chose her husband over her son. That gets me mad cause all these years I have been there for him and he acts like I am nothing. He hits me, calls me names, and I just feel so ! Last night I kicked him out, now its just I have to be strong and not take him back. We fought because he came home once again late, and I was ****ed off because he does it all the time, even when he has to get up at 3:00 a.m. in the morning for work. Anways we started fighting and he hit me, grabbed my phone and threatened to break it, than he pushed me on the floor causing me to hit my hand againts the wall leaving it bruised and swollen, and a scrape on my knee. But thats not all I have had numerous bruises on my legs, arms, back, and neck. This is how it always is. The thing is I'm honestly scared to be alone, I have been with him since I was 15 and I can't picture being with someone else or even him being with someone else. Is this of me? I just want some support and please I know I have made mistakes staying with him but please do not criticize me for it. I just ask for some support, and advise on what I can do to just move on with my life without him.

You really need to get out of this relationship. He isn't going to change or get better. I have been reading so many posts lately on this site about women that are being abused. Yes, you have 3 children and you are young, but that doesn't mean you are helpless. Call the police when he hits you. There are laws about this. You MUST be strong and not let him back. You can't picture yourself with someone else??? Do you mean a man that would treat you right? They are out there, and it isn't that you NEED a man at this point. You need to ask your family for help and support. You don't know anything but this guy, you were a child when you met him. Get out while you can. It will be hard to raise 3 kids, but with him it is more like 4 kids. You should also look at calling some domestic abuse shelters for help. It is not going to get better.

This relationship has been over for a while.
You are like that old dog no one wants to
put to sleep.

Either you leave now, and don't look back
or wait until he throws you out and moves
in his new girl.

You are in a abusive relationship and you need to get out of it as soon as possible before its too late. The reason why you think you cannot be with someone else is because you have never been with someone that treats you the way you suppose to be treated, with love, respect, understanding....
The day you decide to walk out of this relationship for good, would be the hardest thing you have ever done but the greatest thing you will ever do for you and your kids and when you find someone else that treat you the way a woman suppose to be treated you will thank god for giving you that courage to get up an leave.

What you need to do is start taking pictures of those bruises.Tell someone about whats going on, could be a close friend, family member, co worker or anyone you can trust. Make a plan and leave. Start saving money secretly from him, this will benefit you. The best thing to do is leave, you will not regret it in the long run.

Thanks guys for the responses! Kaylar I don't want to be referred to as a dog, theres more to whats going on than what I have explained. And its my house that we were living together at so there is no way he would be able to throw me out, that is why I had said I told him to leave and he did. Although I know what his reasons are for being out late all the time, I'd rather not say on here. And everytime we have fought and I have left him, I always took him back because he would show up at my home, call me, show up at my school, apoligizing and I woulld always give in. Anyways the reason I posted in the first place was because I have thrown him out again, and I just feel the need for some advice on what to do. I know it may sound , but apart of me feels like I need him, when in reality I know I don't. I have been the full time parent to our children all these years, I know he loves his kids but theres just some things that he puts before all of us and I'm sick of it. I can't really explain what my feelings are right now, my emotions are are tangled up. I feel confused, angry, sad, frustrated, and a little part of me feels relieved. I don't know I guess girls or women that have been in these types of relationships understand more than women that haven't. People say get out like its easy, but it really isn't. But I have taken the first step the other night and I have not spoke with him at all the rest of yesterday. So I'm gonna try and please I don't want no negative feedback.

So you say you "love him that much" that you...

1) Let him talk about you like you're nothing...

2) He disrespects you in front any and everybody...

3) He cheats on you. (That blocking the number that he's calling you from business....? nothing more than calling you from one of his girlfriends' house. That's what it is.)

4) Gave you an STD and you continued to take his abuse.

5) You put him out. Let him stay out. Don't take him back, no matter how much he promises to "do better" or "change" and all that.

Let this be over in your life and LOOK AT WHAT THIS DOES TO YOUR CHILDREN AND PUT YOURSELF AND YOUR FEELINGS FOR THIS CREEP ON THE BACKBURNER.
Children are far more important than that.

when a man starts to treat a woman like an old shoe, then
(to avoid the idea of the big shaggy dog that no one wants
to put to sleep) it's time to quit.

YOu did the right thing. You have become accustomed to
him. (that's why I used the dog analogy) But love can not
be what you are experiencing.

I'm not being negative, I'm framing this in an objective
manner so you can disconnect from your feelings and
view it from across the room.

Every abused woman can sit down and give me 'wonderful
times we used to have"...five minutes here,
thirty minutes there, maybe even a whole hour six months
ago.

Look at the past clearly.
Don't forget the ugly pieces around the pretty part.

He's not a good example for the children.

First of all I'd like to say good on you for having your own house!!
I am in a similar position as you, as you may have read on the other site, I too met my husband when I was young and have been with him ever since.
Fact is he is a pig and I am just let him get away with it, his mother detested me and he told me that if I ask him to choose between me and her, I would lose!!Now you don't get much clearer than that. Our marriage almost ended because of his parents.
Anyway, enough about me..what I wanted to say was, you have a choice..and you have to make the right one.
The advice that I can give you is listen to your heart, that would be the first place to start, once you have made the decision it will become easier. Sounds to me like you have already decided what to do, so try not to backtrack. Yes, I know first hand that it is not easy to walk away, it is probably one of the hardest things to do, after all you do have kids with this man and in reality he will be part of your life forever.
Out of curiosity...have you taken him back since you last threw him out?
All the best to you and hope everything works out...