Not knowing the solution to my problems

**simmi** · 10-14-2011 01:37 AM

Hi Friends,
This is my first post in this community

I am a 27 year old highly qualified and reasonably accomplished person, professionally, but unfortunately, I am depressed, PERSONALLY. I am not a very social person. I am not into a relationship(though I want to be in one), I have a handful of close friends, I feel alone and unhappy, but can't figure out a reason

**Beautiful Disaster** · 10-14-2011 07:15 AM

Welcome!!

I don't think anything is wrong with you. I think you're just at a place where you're not quite sure where you SHOULD be. I'm 28, unmarried, no kids, etc. I've seen almost all the people I'm friends with, marry and start talking about children. There have been times I've had to struggle with myself about whether or not I'm "normal" since I haven't embarked on that journey of my life yet. The more I see and learn though, the more thankful I am for my independence. The more thankful I am for my independence, the more I learn about myself and grow.....and the better "qualified" I will be when Mr. Right comes along.

So, don't "seek" a relationship. You can easily find one of those. Work on establishing who YOU are in your own skin (aside from your career). Then, when you're ready, someone that gives you butterflies, someone that makes you feel alive and loved, seek someone that would rather cut off a limb than to hurt you, seek someone that you admire and respect and cherish. The bottom line is, as cliche as it sounds, you must learn to be happy with YOU before you can truly have a healthy happy relationship with anyone else.

Getting a dog was one of the best decisions I have ever made for myself. Used to, I never really looked forward to going home. Since she's been in my life, I am excited to get home every single day. Matter of fact, I hate leaving her.

She is such a companion for me, and I for her. Maybe you could consider a pet.

Also, get yourself a bottle of wine or a good cup of tea and a good inspirational book and read. I recommend "A New Earth" by Eckhart Tolle, and "Eat Pray Love" (can't remember author).

This is such a wonderful time in our lives. It truly is.

**CHANDLERS WISH** · 10-16-2011 01:49 PM

I was 36 years of age before I came to the realisation that I was career orientated, always had been, always will be but in that, I was throwing away the opportunities of a good relationship...I worked then, in the Hospitiality Industry in Management so that did allow me to be more social than you have been able to, but no friends outside due to the long hours and being un-able to keep up with them and off course, restrictions of dating really to the Hospitality Industry, I was married literally to my job.

I think you will find that you are in that same sphere and need to see if you can work ways in which you can separate your career to have a life as well.

That's what I did...I then got married (wrong guy but)

And, found my now fiance and have time to visit friends be more social and smell the roses, I changed my career.

**prawnprincess** · 10-20-2011 03:40 AM

I am 27 and in a similar situation. I definitely feel alone sometimes. What is success without anyone to share it? But my method has been to think: If I could do anything in the world, what would I do? Then I do my best to take action, even if it changes from day to day. Also, I have found that finding a way to spend time with kids each week- like volunteering at the Boys and Girls Club- makes me happier.

**evachan** · 10-20-2011 07:41 AM

I am also not a very social person, sometimes I think it is my character which cause I always feel alone, even many people around me, I cannot join them.