Woman older than the Man

**Seniora** · 10-14-2011 10:18 AM

Why is it OK for a man to have a much younger woman, but not OK for a woman to have a younger man - even if up to 10 years in age difference? What is the reason for this and isn't it sheer hypocrisy? My sister had a man 8 years younger (she looked great - plastic surgery and all that) but it was generally frowned upon. People wondered what was wrong with this man!!

**lizzardb63** · 10-14-2011 01:33 PM

Society isn't used to it (although it's gotten better). With our grandparents generation the men were generally older than the woman and men looked for a woman who was "young and fertile." Things have sort of flipped these days where women have a bigger role than being just the home maker and we've pushed boundaries. A lot of things that weren't acceptable 20 years ago, are now completely acceptable and "normal." I feel we are more open-minded than prior decades, due to our parents being more versatile. We won't get frowned upon as hard core as 40-50 years ago.

**Seniora** · 10-14-2011 02:17 PM

Strangely, though, lizzardb63, I think it's the younger generation who does the frowning. Go figure!!

**aniahunks** · 10-17-2011 12:53 AM

I think the reason behind that assessment is because man is the head of the family and he should be the more matured and emotionally independent than the rest of a family. He has the greater responsibility so he should be greater on age than her wife or partner.

**Claret** · 10-17-2011 03:59 AM

Aniahunks - no offense here to you BUT is this how you really think? In our house we do not have a "head" of the family, we are both mature and emotionally secure, we both shoulder the responsibility of running the house (and the children when they were at home). There have been times when I've out earned my husband, so financially I'd say we are equals. He should not be a greater age than the wife or partner, because I'm 8 years older than he is.

That type of thinking only pushes women back further and further and perpetuates a certain stereotypical thought pattern in certain cultures and countries and one that we here in Canada and the US at least (I can only speak of these two countries) is not normally thought well of.

I walk beside my partner/husband not ahead of nor behind him.

**Cyndie32** · 10-17-2011 09:06 AM

i dated a guy 10 years my younger and after a year i called it quits cause i couldn't keep up with him. he always wanted to go and do and i was content to sit at home.

we did get lots of people who would stare or make comments behind our backs. also had one person ask me to my face why we were together. i am not sure why the gender inequality. maybe it still stems back to women being held to a higher moral standard because we are mothers. not sure. it is hard to imagine mom with a SO the same age as her children. maybe.... i don't know.

**Seniora** · 10-17-2011 09:45 AM

Claret, you're an absolute champion!! Well done!! Also, Cyndie 32 - I cannot understand the attitude of people, but I can see you didn't want to continue 'keeping up' with your partner. A friend's daughter married a Frenchman 16 years younger than she (and she was a self-employed Occupational Therapist, but very young at heart). He loved her in the beginning but time came for his biological urge to kick in and he left her for a younger, fertile woman. She was devastated, but it was not entirely unexpected. He was 24 and she was 40 - I guess he didn't realize he WOULD want children later on. I think these types of choices are a two-way thing: one has to try and anticipate these kinds of issues.

**Claret** · 10-17-2011 10:50 AM

I should also say we've been together 27 years now, two years ago I took up downhill skiing, last year curling and this year we are purchasing an ultra-light aircraft to fly around and play with. Age can be just a state of mind, it doesn't necessarily have to be counted in years on the calendar.,

**Seniora** · 10-17-2011 11:32 AM

Claret, you are so right! Enjoy that ultra-light aircraft and be safe!! I absolutely adored above all others a friend of my father's who was 32 years my senior. Yes, when I looked at his face and body I could tell the age difference but the man had a brain the size of a planet and was light years ahead of most younger people I knew. He died in 2002 and I miss him every single day of my life.

**lizzardb63** · 10-18-2011 09:59 AM

Seniora, I am considered part of the "younger generation"... I feel its a pretty common thing these days that doesn't surprise us. Ever hear of a "cougar"... that's this generations term for it. There are even tv shows about it, lol "Cougar Town"