Thread: BOY PROBLEM!!!

18 seems a little over protective to me. Lol. Your parents can always hope though. How old are you now?

Beginning to date is always an emotional thing. It helps to be at a level of maturity where you can be aware of what you want and don't want, instead of feeling like you are supposed to act or do certain things you may regret later. I think ever parent worries about daughters beginning to date, but waiting for you to turn 18 is mostly wishful thinking on their part. Lol. My sister in law says my nieces have to wait till they're 30.

It gets to be a tricky situation because you wind up having to choose between going against your parents wishes and taking the next step in your development. I think age 13 is a bit more reasonable, but then we get into a new topic of parenting methods. There's no way to prove who does it right, so I would say, just go with what you think is the right thing for you to do.

Look around you...you probably see lots of girls in high school pregnant, dropping out, etc. Your parents don't want that to be you...and something happens when a girl has her first puppy love and she sort of loses her good judgement at times. They want you to get out of high school having focused on your studies, on your friends, and on things that are healthy for you. If your parents are good parents, trust that they are doing what they feel is right for you. With that said, there is a difference between having someone you call your boyfriend, and going out on actual dates. I see little harm in having someone you call your boyfriend.

I agree with BD. There is a big difference between just saying someone is your boyfriend and chatting at school/online and actually going out on dates with them. Although, I do think 18 may be a *bit* overprotective. I guess the initial question is how old are you now? That information would be helpful on how to advise you moving forward. I would give you much different advice at say 14 compared to 16/17.

I would just like to state that it doesn't matter what we think, you should listen to your parents. Unless they are being abusive (which, sorry, but not allowing you to go out alone with a boy doesn't qualify), you need to follow their rules. Find out what your parents mean by "dating." Is he allowed to come over while they're home, are you allowed to go out in groups? The reality is, you are living in their home, under their rules, and I don't really think it's appropriate for anyone to encourage you to go against their wishes. It isn't "wishful thinking" on their part, but I suppose it depends on how much you respect your parents and their wishes.

Agreeing with rosekitten here - your parents' say is final until you turn 18, after all!
But that doesn't mean you can't have a little chat with them. "Mom and Dad, what do you mean by not having a boyfriend until 18? Can you lay down some ground rules for me? There is a boy at school I kind of like, but I don't want to break any of your rules or disrespect you!" They may see that you are mature enough to have this conversation, maybe they could budge and give you supervised dates or something like that?

Yup, I agree with Little. Talk to them in a clear and calm manner, don't get upset, don't make demands. Just simply ask what the rules are. See if they want to meet the boy and talk to him. But, you have to be willing to respect them. My "rebellion" when I was in HS was to not get a 4.0. /shrug