New Boyfriend, No Communication! Help!

**kateishmate** · 10-27-2011 06:12 PM

Hi everyone.

I started seeing this guy I have known for a while a couple months ago. We were very slow into getting physical, just holding hands took a while because we are both pretty shy. But eventually we got comfortable and making out was a regular thing. So yesterday we ended up having sex for the first time, and it was the weirdest experience of my life! Everything was great until he jumped off me randomly after about only 2 or 4 minutes, and just laid next to me, he didn't even say anything. Then he wanted to be sweet and cuddle.....so i was completely confused. Did he finish? Where did he finish?! Is there something wrong? idk. It was weird. So i asked him if everything was ok and he says "ya, everythings perfect" with a smile on his face....so i left having no idea what was up. Usually he is a great communicator about everything, but this time nothing. Can anyone shed some light on this situation? Much appreciation. -K

**kygirl** · 10-28-2011 08:22 AM

Okay, first off, I am going to say that you need to make sure you are using some form of birth control EVERY time you have sex. It concerns me that you're not sure if he finished and don't mention that you used protection.

Two, I am curious as to how old you are? The first time you have sex can be a bit awkward (whether first time in general or with a new person). It's the throws of passion then there's the awkward "hmmm what do I do now?" It can be really hard for people (of many ages) to communicate with their partner about sex, even if they are good at talking about many other things. I would let him know that you nkow it may be a bit uncomfortable at times but that you want to be able to talk to him about things. If you're not using protection, you *definitely* need to have that conversation before it happens again. YOu don't want an unplanned pregnancy simply because you didn't want to say anything and it is MUCH easier to have that discussion when it's not the heat of the moment.

As long as he is still acting fine otherwise, I'd just work on the communication about sex and I'm sure in time, it'll come more naturally to both of you.

**jns** · 10-28-2011 09:02 PM

Originally Posted by kateishmate

Hi everyone.

I started seeing this guy I have known for a while a couple months ago. We were very slow into getting physical, just holding hands took a while because we are both pretty shy. But eventually we got comfortable and making out was a regular thing. So yesterday we ended up having sex for the first time, and it was the weirdest experience of my life! Everything was great until he jumped off me randomly after about only 2 or 4 minutes, and just laid next to me, he didn't even say anything. Then he wanted to be sweet and cuddle.....so i was completely confused. Did he finish? Where did he finish?! Is there something wrong? idk. It was weird. So i asked him if everything was ok and he says "ya, everythings perfect" with a smile on his face....so i left having no idea what was up. Usually he is a great communicator about everything, but this time nothing. Can anyone shed some light on this situation? Much appreciation. -K

Maybe he started to go soft, so he jumped off so you didn't know and so he wouldn't be embarrassed. If he orgasmed, there would have been some evidence.

**CHANDLERS WISH** · 10-29-2011 02:23 AM

Honey you asked if he came....I suspect this is all new to you too?

It could also be that he only has a small amount of sperm when he cums, you weren't aware as you were wet so you are not sure whether he did or not...

When a man is excited, happy, he can cum very, quickly a 2 minute situation....That really could be what happened. As long as he rings you, talks to you, sees you as before he would be embarrased I think to say, um I came quickly because you turned me on...

Take your time to learn each other and grow...

Eventually, he will feel comfortable in talking about everything with you, I think..

CW

**BabyGirl** · 10-29-2011 07:06 PM

It is hard for me to give any advise, not knowing if this was your First time or his First time ? Or your Ages and Maturity or Rxperiance with Partners.

I do remember My First time I chose to have Sex/ Make Love.

Actually over 4 Decades ago. even I think Ewwwww I don't want to hear or think about this .. lol

But, it was Not as Romantic as I thought or know now that it can be.
Fumbling, Petting, couldn't get clothes off ( parts needed like Pants and Shorts). Fast Enough.
Get it in, Us Both Aiming ,poked , grinding, some wetness, roll off and " Wow " with heavy Breathing. Put on clothes, and act like . " WOW" .

And I believe we both thought that was SEX while in a Teenaged Love.

Sweets , as all of us have said here, it seems very New to you .
So Follow the Rules so you can be Respected and Loved and Treated as the Young Lady you Are .

1 ) If you are going to have Sex, be Protected. Both you and Him, Condoms, BC Pills . No Alcohol or Drugs or Wild Parties.

2 ) Go back to holding hands, sharing secrets, smiling and even just Making out . Until you have learned your own Body enough to know if You Finished or He Finished.

3) Try not to just find a Place to " DO IT" try to make time to make Love. Without having to Degrade each other by having Quickies or to Cover Up what you just Did or could be " caught at '.

4) If Old enough and him also, talk with your Parents, if you feel you are In Love or Soul Mates. You can let them know that you Love each other, see if you guys can have some " Privacy" and I am sure the Parents will at least try to talk to you both about Sex, Protection, Schooling ( if in the Scenario ) Futures and help with your Dreams and Hopes.

5) I would not talk or Gossip with Friends or Facebook or other places that you may find out if your sexual time with your BF. wasn't what you thought it was ..

** This is a Safe site, but even here a friend of a friend of you or boyfriend. Could find your words and Worries on here .

**kateishmate** · 11-03-2011 02:50 PM

Thanks so much for all of the advice everyone. I am really not new to sex or relationships......i just haven't been in one for a while. Learning to communicate with a new partner is challenging me and i'm so frustrated. But working on it.