Thread: Keeping in touch with ex-lovers...what

BF's don't stop communicating with their exes for a reason. It has been proven in studies that the feelings for a person heightens when that person rejected you, i.e. broke up with you, cheated on you, just flat out refused to be with you. Hence, the huge possibility of the individual to be hung up on that person who rejected him. They might not admit it but subconsciously, it could be true (there are exceptions though).

I am like Mes_T. I tell my man my boundaries and that's it - take it or leave it. I wouldn't allow my heart to be trampled again and again. It's all up to you, swimgirl18. If he can't stop the communication with that ex, the way I see it, he is still clinging on something he just wouldn't admit to you nor to himself. Maybe he's still hoping that someday, they'll be closer, etc.... we can speculate numerous things. However, whatever the reasons he may tell you, put your heart first. How do you feel about it - what do you want to do about it? Discuss and draw your boundaries.

I don't keep in contact with my Ex's either, its by choice and I have to admit my life is pretty stress-free from it. My question to you: Is the person who had sent him messages the same girl from the phone who'ms message he didn't mean to delete after he snatched the phone from your hand?

Originally Posted by MeghanCouture

My husband used to be the same way, he would talk to a few girls that he had dated in the past. I never saw anything wrong with it just because they were friends before we got together.
That's just how some are, they will will continue to talk to there exes if it wasn't a bad break up or they only went on a few dates.
If I were you I really wouldn't worry about it to much, you know he is friends with them. Now if he was doing it behind you're back and you didn't know I would worry. However the fact that you know really shows he has nothing to hide.
However if it still bothers you, talk to him and just let him know how you feel.

I second that.

Originally Posted by swimgirl18

He is hiding it. I found out by accident when he didn't sign out of his facebook and when I went on to the site I saw messages from his ex. I wasn't snooping on purpose I just didn't realize it never asked me to sign in, which it usually doesn't since it's my personal computer. He was silly enough to use my computer to check his account and didn't sign out. I'm not the type of person to snoop but now that I have come to know about this I can't stop thinking about it and I find myself wondering why the heck he still wants to talk to her when she CHEATED on him?? Is he messed up emotionally? Am i dealing with damaged goods? I just don't get it. It wouldn't bother me so much if the things he was saying were a little more innocent, but he was telling her how good she looks in her photo's and how much he misses her.

If he's hiding it, how did you find out? Have you, I don't know, talked to him about it?