16, baby, ignorant boyfriend

**fmylifegirl** · 11-14-2011 11:38 PM

So everything was fine then boom a baby. Its not out yet, 3 more months. Im financially secure, many people to help care, healthy environment. Been with boyfriend for a while but lately I just want to hit him. He is inconciderate, he says things without thinking how it will affect me. He treats me differently at school like he is forced to be around me but then at home he acts madly in love with me. I mean in school he kisses me and cuddles me and pulls me close to him/he scoots closer to me but... it's just this feeling i get deep inside that he doesnt want to be near me. I've gained a few lbs since first dating and then with extra baby weight now i feel horrible and he doesnt understand. He tells me im not fat, im beautiful, and shushes the conversation or acts like he dont care when i really wanna talk about it. theres other topics too that i really want to talk about into depth and only skim the serface or say simple things that have no meaning to the conversation. I'm a very caring, giving, conciderate, loving person so i get hurt easily but i can hide it well. I tell him EVERYTHING yet i always feel like he is hiding something. Like lately he wont keep his phone near me like he used to. put it all the way across the room getting out of bed tho theres a table next to us. sitting in the living room with my mother he got up to put his phone down on a table and came back tho there was a coffee table right infront of us. I dont check because ive tried before and theres nothing on his phone so idk. he keeps doing it when he didnt before. he says he loves me and wants to be with me forever and the baby but he doesnt act it. im fine if we dont end up together, i would hate to tie someone down and ive told him before he isnt obligated to stay, id never go after him for taxes/child support. he is free to go if he wants but... its just these little things keep hurting me. he acts so much like he doesnt care.

**kygirl** · 11-15-2011 09:01 AM

So you're 16? I read your tag line, but wanted to be sure.

I think it could be a lot of things. There could be something really wrong or you could have hormone issues right now due to the pregnancy which are causing you to be more sensitive than even normal. When you're young, a lot is going on anyway. I don't know what to tell you other than 1) it's his obligation to pay child support and I don't think you should look at it as "tying him down" when it took two of you to get in this position. 2) Just talk to him. If he says he wants to be with you, then you either have to trust him and believe him or you are going to push him away. It sounds like he's a normal guy and he's trying to be there for you.

I guess my question is whether *you* want to be with *him* or if you would rather he go on and leave? I can't tell if you are being strong saying you are "fine if we don't end up together" or if you just aren't that into him but are trying because of the baby?

**lizzardb63** · 11-15-2011 10:58 AM

I would say if his behavior towards you doesn't get better you may want to evaluate the relationship. I am sure that it isn't easy for him either and he may be freaking out a little bit. You both are very young, and it doesn't sound like a planned pregnancy. I think what you really need to do right now is to talk to him. Ask him what's going on and figure it out together. COmmunication is the one thing that makes a relationship functional. None of us on here are going to have the definate answer. Only HE knows what's going on.