pregnant and confused

**emg22881** · 07-15-2007 12:57 PM

I currently live with my b/f and my four year old son from a previous relationship, we are going to be having a baby in february. Our relationship has always had little snags due to the fact that he works two jobs one of which is with alot of girls, fairly younger than me. We worked through all that from the beginning only having little struggles along the way than we started living together, i started noticing tons of porn sites on our computer, also dating websites, and downloads of porn, he said he would stop that didnt that it turned into a constant war of him saying do whatever he wants and thats it, than he decided that we couldnt stay together anymore and he was trying to make me leave the apartment, which my son and i had nowhere to go and he was going home to mommy anyway, right after this whole fight we, he actually decided that we were going to move into the basement apartment of his mothers home, i hate living there, people have to go through the kitchen to get to the laundry room and its just not home to me, im very emotional due to my pregnancy and hes not helping matters at all, he still talks to tons of girls on the phone and well go as far as to not answer my calls if hes talking to one of them and he sees nothing wrong with that. Hes very selfish and only cares about making himself happy, im miserable and petrified to be alone with two kids, my first sons father left me right after my son was born and even went as far as to take my car away from me, i wont be losing anything from leaving the current except the chance to raise my child together, im just so confused, he insults me everyday and tells me that he would not choose me over porn, and that im physcho, am i just physcho, is it best to leave and just take care of my kids myself, i need help with this one, please

***~Kira~*** · 07-15-2007 05:03 PM

I'm so sorry your in the kind of sitution. You feel trapted and as if you have no where else to go. Was it your fear that caused yo to give into his demand of moving into his mommys basement? are you still together? If you are you shouldnt be!!!! he sounds like a self centered attention seeking jerk. You shouldnt be with him at all until he decideds to grow up. Have you considered moving home to your parents? or any form of family or friends until you get on your feet? you sont deserve that kind of abuse

**JubesInquest** · 07-17-2007 02:47 PM

Number One : You need to leave him.
You are going to have to think of what this is doing to both your children; your 4 year old and the unborn child.
Are you aware that too much stress can be very harmful to a child? How about your unborn baby?

Number Two : Why in the world did you stick with a man that was giving you all these problems BEFORE you lived with him? Why did you go ahead and move in with him? Why are you putting your children through this?

Dear, if he wasn't treating you right before you moved in with him, he most certainly will NOT treat you better AFTER you've moved in!!!

Number Three : He is thoroughly addicted to the mess he's been looking at, and he doesn't have those dating sites downloaded for nothing.
He's running with all these different women and you have not a CLUE as to what he's bringing home to you--I'm talking disease-wise!

Number Four : You live in the basement of his mom's house??? He's a giant kid anyway!! He's not mature enough for you, your 4-year-son or your unborn baby.
He left an apartment, that you were sharing with him, just move back home with his mommy?
Does he also walk around with his teddy bear and blankey?????

GEEZ!!!!

Emg, you really are going to have a find a place of your own to stay. Can you move back home with your own family until you can get on your feet?
At the rate this is going with this so-called "man" (and I definitely use that term loosely), you are putting your young son and unborn child in great harm. The stress is too much for you and your son is growing up in an evnironment of torment. This is NOT good.

Look at what this is doing to YOUR CHILDREN. Put your feelings and emotions on the backburner. This guy is not going to change; heck, he's still a baby himself! He's not able to support you or your babies.

Make it your number one priority to find a good safe place for you & your little ones until you're able to support them.

Do you have an order for child support for your 4-year-old?

**emg22881** · 07-17-2007 05:02 PM

i have a very good relationship with my four year olds father and yes he pays alot of child support, i just found out yesterday by having a routine sonagram done that my baby no longer had a heartbeat, i had a misscarriage and need to go in to the hospital friday for a D&C, i can and did support myself for years before i met this guy, after i get myself together and healthy i believe i am going to leave him, if he wants to involve himself in trash than he can do it himself, im overcome with grief right now from the loss of my child, and even if i was only three months pregnant it was my child, so as soon as i can i am going to find my own place and move on, thank you all for your advice, E

**JubesInquest** · 07-18-2007 11:00 AM

Awww, my Dear E...

I'm sorry to hear this.

I feared this... I feared all the stress was doing sooo much harm to you.

I'm really P.O.'d at that louse of man....

Sweetie, when you get on your feet, MAKE SURE you leave him.
Take your little 4-year-old and get out.
That guy is a no-good-for-nothing-sick-perverted-puppy.

You definitely don't need that lump of in your life.

You'll have more children in due time.

Again, I am so sorry to hear this. Take good care of yourself.

**soldatka** · 07-22-2007 02:46 PM

I'm so sorry to hear you lost your baby.
Wishing you the best of luck for finding a new place once you are able. This guy sounds like a complete git, he has treated you abominably.

**emg22881** · 07-23-2007 01:16 AM

i didnt leave right away, i just had a d & c done friday, today i was in so much pain that i passed out on my moms kitchen floor, i got hit tonight, for the first time, actually out right hit than choked, he told me to get the out and that hes glad i lost our baby, happy he doesnt have any connection to me, i cant even ellaborate anymore because of how drained i am, i left, at one am and now tomorrow i need to go get more of my stuff while hes at work, i cant go to work tomorrow all of this within three days is too much to handle, tonight started because i found a text message on his phone with another female with no mention of him having a girlfriend, i asked him why, he said simply cause he doesnt have one, three days after my operation he has broken up with me and dissrespected the tiny soul that could have been by being happen it has passed, im a mess, this sucks, helpppppp!!!!!!!!!!!

**alibaby** · 07-23-2007 02:08 AM

I am so sorry for the loss of your baby and everything else that you are going through and it hurts me to think of the effect your situation will have on your son. Do not go back to that man, even if he promises you the world, because once a man hits you, he can do it again and again! You are so right about being glad that you aren't married to him. Take time to recover, both physically and mentally. And don't be afraid to get help (i.e. support of friends and relatives, counseling, police intervention).

I hope that you and your son will stay safe and things will be much better for you soon.

Ali

**Ravsoma** · 07-23-2007 08:23 AM

...That's depressing to hear. I'm so sorry.

I know this is gonna sound HORRIBLE (and I really apologise if it does because I don't mean for it to be), but now that the baby isn't there you have nothing holding you to him. Leave him and go with your son and be free. He treats you too bad and all that stress is not good for you.

**Ravsoma** · 07-23-2007 08:31 AM

I didn't read that last post of yours. T_T

He hit you?! KILL HIS . All I need is two shots of whiskey and a stick. I'll beat him down good.

You need to take a trip to the spa.

Thread: pregnant and confused

LinkBack

Thread Tools

Search Thread

Display

pregnant and confused

Bookmarks

Bookmarks

Posting Permissions