Need some advice

**obnoxious** · 12-11-2011 07:36 PM

So I'm a guy in my late 20s, almost 29 to be exact. Due to my upbringing and also being very shy (though shyness may have been caused by upbringing) I've never really talked to girls, never been on date, never even held a girl's hands.

Assuming I somehow get a girl to go out with me or even get her to be my GF, would my virginity be a major problem?

Most women my age or even a decade younger are sexually experienced. I am not. Everything I know is from what I've heard friends tell me and that probably does not make me an expert. I watch porn on a regular basis but I have reason to suspect thats not very educational. I don't have a big penis, so its not like I can provide a wow factor in the absence of sexual skill and I'm sure I have PE because I usually can't last more than 5 minutes when I beat off.

So am I screwed or am I really screwed?

**ItsASecret** · 12-11-2011 08:19 PM

Personally I would enjoy being with a guy who was a virgin. Not because of the whole "I took it" way, I hate that viewpoint because I do not view virginity as something special or sacred...that is just my opinion. The reason I would like a guy who had no sexual experience is because there is much less chance of having the guy say or act like "well I have been with 30+ hot babes and they have all done X,Y and Z and cummed everytime and screamed and acted like porno girls so you should too! I know what I am doing!!!". I am not going to have any of that, I am not an actress nor do I want to pretend to be like one so do not expect me to act like that just because you like the fantasy world of porn nor do I want to be treated like one of his previous one night stands. Each woman is different, we are not cookie cutter responses, what works for one does not mean it will work for the next. It is annoying when guys go into a situation thinking that their sexual numbers means they have some sort of bravado about them that is flawless. A lot of guys pump their chest, and claim to be a major stud but if you asked a girl how she really felt about a pompus guy like that who bragged about 'experience' they tend to say things like "well I faked my orgasm", "he would not listen to what I had to say during sex", "I was just a one nighter to him he did not even ask my name", "he tried all this sex stuff but it was not working for me". It is just a bunch of talk but no game type behavior. The ones girls like are the ones who will spend time with them asking "how is that", "what do you want to do", "how should I do this for you?". Things that show you have concern for her.

If you want to impress a woman begin by listening to her, showing that you care about HER and not the size of her chest or what she could look like naked (not saying that is what you do, just saying a lot of other men do that). You need to ease into things, do not expect anything to be a certain way from the get-go...just let it happen.

**obnoxious** · 12-12-2011 12:45 AM

thanks for a words of wisdom. good to know you're not weirded out by a dude who still hasn't gotten laid by age 29. good to know i have a chance in the world!

**lizzardb63** · 12-13-2011 11:52 AM

I don't think it's a problem. If you start seeing the right person, they will understand. I am sure there are some out there where it's a deal breaker, but there are definately many women out there that would not be bothered by that. Besides, if they know you're a virgin they aren't going to expect you to last 45 minutes. It takes time and practice to get "good" at it... experience helps and with the right person, you'll gain that experience.
Just be honest an up front from the beginning and don't pretend to be someone you're not. That, in most cases IS a deal breaker. Some women enjoy being with someone who isn't as experienced. They can show them the ropes!

**lizzardb63** · 12-13-2011 11:53 AM

Also- it's a fact that intercourse lasts an average of 3-7 minutes (but of course there are those out there that can have sex for an hour every time, but if you ask me...that wouldn't happen every time! It would get boring.... sometimes a quicky is all you need!)

**BabyGirl** · 12-13-2011 06:38 PM

My Youngest Son is still a Virgin at 25 years old. By his Choice, not because he hasn't had " Lady's" interested in him.

He's a Good Looking Young Man, has had 1 Job and one Job only, since he graduated High School. He's not a Religion of any kind. He had one girlfriend when he was 17 and she wanted to force him to have sex so she could get Pregnant and " Marry him " and be able not have to live with her Parents..

My son Dumped her like she was a Hand Grenade that had the Pin half pulled.

The thing is , He wants to be In Love and Make Love when he first experiences Sex with a Woman. He does not expect her to be a Virgin, but he also has his " Criteria" and she won't be a $lut either .

So being a Virgin at 29, isn't or Shouldn't be a Shame, It should be Respected. Just as if a Woman was one at 29.

Don't be afraid of being you. learn Slowly, don't just have Sex for Sex, learn to Make Love and try to make the experience something you and hopefully she, will Enjoy and Treasure.

And get off the Porn, That is Not Reality, that is Not how Making Love should be or really is (in most cases ). you can however, study/ read and even ask. What turns women on.
When you learn you will know what is and isn't a good technique or not, but it will be different with different women.

So, When and if you are ready, find a girl you would like as a girlfriend and possibly more.

Don't go looking at ones that Every Man Desires.

Look to the Inside of a Woman, not Just the Outside. Be Picky, Be Choosey, Be Mature and don't just Give your Special Virginity away for the Sake of Not being a Virgin anymore .

And Google the Movie 30 year old virgin.. That was Funny, but also, Read the Message in it . It has Merit

**CHANDLERS WISH** · 12-14-2011 03:12 AM

That's sad BG but often the case, reality.

I hope he doesn't "judge" women as a result, not trust women? It's possible..

**jns** · 12-14-2011 04:08 AM

Originally Posted by obnoxious

So I'm a guy in my late 20s, almost 29 to be exact. Due to my upbringing and also being very shy (though shyness may have been caused by upbringing) I've never really talked to girls, never been on date, never even held a girl's hands.

Assuming I somehow get a girl to go out with me or even get her to be my GF, would my virginity be a major problem?

Most women my age or even a decade younger are sexually experienced. I am not. Everything I know is from what I've heard friends tell me and that probably does not make me an expert. I watch porn on a regular basis but I have reason to suspect thats not very educational. I don't have a big penis, so its not like I can provide a wow factor in the absence of sexual skill and I'm sure I have PE because I usually can't last more than 5 minutes when I beat off.

So am I screwed or am I really screwed?

In some cultures, even in today's age, female virginity is still prized. So marrying a lady from such a culture who had never been married before, would in most cases be marrying a virgin. I know this mostly from travels to Southeast Asia. Further, it is more common in those cultures for the man to be somewhat older than the woman due to being required to have financial stability by social convention. This situation would defuse your misgivings if you were inclined to marriage.