Thread: Dissaster

You know ? Firstly we have men here so don't worry about that.

Secondly I have been in your shoes and so have THOUSANDS of people.

The Internet is in some ways a way of being you in it's totality.. You share so much of "you" with so many people one day, you click with someone, they admire you or see "you" and you fall for that and feel the same back.

But, there are two problems.. One, is when you do finally meet, all the talking, even by phone as well, becomes mute, they are shy, different in person, and so, you fell in love with the persona they were able to project over the Internet... Me, I am me, full stop but this is what I found.. Or two, they can not wait.. They were lonely to start with. I know you don't want to hear that. And the constant exchanges made them feel like they were someone, and someone loved them, was in love with them and so, they became attached and started to fall too...

Ultimately though... Long distance "only " works if you can meet, and fall in love in person, face to face you already know the "inner person" via the net. And soon, after you start to fall, within 2 months at the very least.

9 months, someone else offers the same attention or attention and it's in person, the other person realises that they need more.

What this should tell you is be wary... I am so sorry your heart is broken but your friends are right.

This girl needed to be loved, needed attention, thought she was in love but ultimately the moment someone in the "real" world came along she didn't need you.

That's not what happened to me... I will always remember my "internet" boyfriend and we did meet and he lived in America and I speak or facebook his kids often and sister-in-law. But, the reality is, we can talk via the internet or phone... When we meet sometimes it is different.

I knew it was real too hun... I thought that was it... Had you had met her, you as I did, and he did, may have changed your mind and realised you weren't in love rather in love with the interaction and of needing and wanting love.

She has already moved on. It's very difficult to hang on for 10 months before meeting I know..

You are not desperate, you had something that was real as far as you both thought until one person met someone in real life and changed the whole scenario.

You need to do the same and not entertain the idea unless you can afford to fly over after 1 month, 2 months and check it out for real.

And you need to get away from the Computer and see life, feel it, breathe it, get out... And say all the things you did, all the conversations you had in the real world.

I'm sorry but like I said, I've been there...Excepting we met......You never did, had you have done so, it may not have been what you wanted after all..

You know, living with someone finding out their habits, their reality? It's different.

Take care..

Others I am sure will answer as well when they wake.

Happy New Year, smile in the knowing that she's out there, it just wasn't this person after all and you can go again and find her.