Thread: My boyfriend breaks promises and watches porn

Hi, I've been with my boyfriend for about 2 years. I knew he watched it in the beginning of our relationship, and i was fine with it, I watched it too. But then when i'd use his computer, I'd go to use google, and see he searched for specific porn stars, and that really hurts, because he told me he used porn just to whack off really fast. But what i saw is that he spent a looong time everyday, watching lots of video's at a time and searching all sorts of discusting things in the google search. I confronted him about it, and he said he's stop searching for specific women. After that, i saw he was still doing it, but he denied everything and said it must have been from before. Eventually i thought really deep about it, and decided that its really messed up to stare at another naked person, get turned on and actually touch yourself while enthralled with some other person. So i told him that i was never going to watch porn again, and that its discusting. He agreed and said he'd never watch it again too. I didn't tell him not to, he did it on his own. So eventually i made him promise he woudn't watch it, and said if he did, he's a liar, and im going to leave him. He said thats fine, but then it turns out he had already been watching it. I gave him another chance (im stupid) and he promised that he really doesn't want to look at other girls and he promises that he'll never do it again. So i said alright we can start over, but if you do it again, were done. I didn't trust him, but i tried. I checked his computer once in a while (even if he deletes it, i can still find it) and he was clean. But then just a few days ago, i wrote him a message and sent it to him on facebook (we live together, its just easier to write out a message sometimes, then actually say it) and told him about how i promise to not act as suspicious anymore, as long as he keeps his promises, i'll keep mine. Cause the past few days we hadn't been getting along, cause he kept going to his friends house every single day after work, and hardly spending any time with me. When he read my message, he started crying and said that he watched porn this morning, and that he did it cause he was thinking about breaking up with me cause we had been fighting. But come on, 2 years in a relationship and you'd break up with someone over an arguement that lasted like 2 days? And it disturbs me, cause its like he was thinking, finally, i can start watching porn again cause won't have her. He promised, once again, that he'd never do it again and he wants to be with me forever. I decided we could try to start over, again (im REALLY stupid) But now, im so full of fear about a lot of things. Like that he's gonna watch porn again, or break up with me over stupid things. He's a great guy besides those things, i know i made him sound horrible, but besides that, we have a great sex life and usually never fight. So i just need some advice, about what is going on with him, or if anyone else has had this happen, and what i can do. He says hes not addicted, since he did go months without watching it, but why would he go right back to it? I really don't like the idea of other girls turning on my boyfriend. I already have anxiety disorder. Ahhh lol