Thread: Weekend Away with Boyfriend and Friends?

Sorry I think this is in the wrong place, I've posted it in the Dating forum. I don't know how to (or if I can ) delete this

Why wouldn't he invite you to go along with him in the first place? It sounds like he's going with mutual friends, other females will be there, so why wouldn't he WANT you to go with him?

I don't think it's that he doesn't want me to go, he doesn't seem to mind either way. He's not giving his opinion now, because he knows it'll make me worry more and feel like I should do the opposite (just writing that makes me sound crazy!). But yes, you make a good point. It shouldn't matter whether I go or not.

No it shouldn't. I don't see how going on vacation with your boyfriend and group of mutual friends could be considered stepping on his toes. He should want you to be there.

And I don't know your issues, but be careful blaming everything on yourself like you're some crazy psycho jealous girl or something. I have beat myself up over the same things before when in the end I realized that it was the way he was treating me that made me feel jealous and crazy. He wasn't giving me what I needed and as a result I was insecure. So is it your issues that are ruining the relationship, or the way you're being treated that is CAUSING your issues?

I agree with the moderator. You should ask him you would like to go.

Oh, and yes, I used to blame myself a lot . It was my fault if I was not being loved. You need to assert yourself more.

A couple of " Red Flags " here, for me.

I've been going out with my boyfriend for 2.5 years

After 2 1/2 years, he should have invited you to go ( if you were able to ) and he wanted to get away from the Uni, with you.

I had decided that I wasn't going to go, because I wasn't specifically included. And the " so it's not like I'm just tagging along"

Were you Not included or asked by him at all ? Or was a group thing that none of your " friends " thought to invite you ? Until they needed another Sober Driver ?

I don't think it's that he doesn't want me to go, he doesn't seem to mind either way.

Refer to # Red Flag 1.

Boyfriend you live with 2 1/2 years, doesn't seem to mind either way ?

So this won't be a little Getaway, that you both can take together and have fun with friends, but still have some special, together time, like a Mini Vacation ? And maybe you two stay Sober and let all the others get " Uni Gone Wild ".

I don't know hun,

I wouldn't Personally, willingly be an Afterthought..
And then only because they need a "Designated Driver" that travels over 200 miles away, to a Weekend of people that are known to be Heavy Drinkers and possibly with a woman or women that have or have not claimed to have had sex with YOUR BF.

I must admit I would be a bit wary of him as a BF, in General .

I hate to jump in and reiterate what everyone else has said, but if other girls are going and other people you know and he just didn't even give you the option (invite you himself) and you aren't sure if it's okay after 2.5 years, that is definitely an issue. If at 2.5 years, you feel this insecure about saying something, it sounds like there may be much deeper issues with the relationship than just a weekend trip. But that is something you have to address yourself.

I've only been with my boyfriend a year (almost) and I know that if he were going on a group trip (not a guys only trip) that he would without hesitation ask me if I wanted to go.... I've dated people (like BD) that made me think something was wrong with ME and my stress, but I realized after the fact that THEY made me that way. Good luck deciding....