I feel like an idiot

**jaheelsep27** · 07-21-2007 07:05 PM

Ive been having an affair with a married man we work together Im single unfortunitly hes not, its been going off and on and he knows that I"m in love with him, I have so many feelings for him, last saturday we went to work and it was only me and him working so we had sex, we had sex twice before but 2 years ago, after we had sex he tells me that we only can be friends because hes married and he has a baby on the way..I was so upset I was crying and I have been crying at work,no one at work knows anything about what is going on only my sister does..Its hard for me because I spend 40 hours a week with him at work hes like the boss and I always have to talk to him and stand next to him,I just dont know what to do.I do love him and I know its over,I really dont want to lose his friendship its more important to me than anything ,because hes been acting so different now that we had sex..Any advice for me would help thankyou

**pushingupdaisies** · 07-21-2007 09:54 PM

Honey, you need to remove yourself from this situation and environment. I too have been exactly in this same predicament. It's tough but it is something that you should do for yourself before you go insane. In my case, I found another job, packed my belongings and moved to a new apartment, changed all my email addresses and telephone numbers. I choose to do this because it was the only way I knew how to get out of the situation. As far as the too of us being friends, nope and its better that way. I wish you the best of luck.

**jaheelsep27** · 07-22-2007 09:14 AM

Originally Posted by pushingupdaisies

Honey, you need to remove yourself from this situation and environment. I too have been exactly in this same predicament. It's tough but it is something that you should do for yourself before you go insane. In my case, I found another job, packed my belongings and moved to a new apartment, changed all my email addresses and telephone numbers. I choose to do this because it was the only way I knew how to get out of the situation. As far as the too of us being friends, nope and its better that way. I wish you the best of luck.

Just want to say thankyou for the advice I really needed it Im gonna start looking for another job asap, again thankyou..

**JubesInquest** · 07-23-2007 12:38 PM

Wow...

Well, a married man is generally going to keep his wife and just have someone on the side.

You can leave quietly--no one knows about all this but your sister.
However, people at your job can tell you've got feelings for your "boss" and I'm sure more than a few of them can tell something's been going on between the 2 of you--even if you haven't said a word.

No doubt the environment will be toxic for you because of what has happened; therefore, a change is good, as the poster mentioned.
Transfer, get another job--whatever you have to do to make the environment comfortable for you.

There is a such thing as "sexual harassment" ...
I'll leave that alone for now.

kaylar · 07-23-2007 01:12 PM

Never be the other woman.

Firstly, 99.99% of the time HE HAS ABSOLUTELY
NO INTENTION OF LEAVING HIS WIFE.

I shout this, because over the past decades,
it is only one case in which a man left his wife
for the O.W. who happened to be a gold digger
and would not let go. (He had a lot of money)

She, who was after his money, got him to marry
her and then went after other men, and was divorced
but as she had a child for him, she came out alright.

OUtside of that case; men don't leave their wives
for other women. Simply put, if the wife was so
bad he would have divorced her before he met you.

If he fell so insanely in love, he'd go for a divorce
within weeks of the relationship beginning.

Married men want something 'on the side'.
They will lie, cheat, trick, do whatever they
can to get another woman and then, when they
find a new one or their wife is threatening, dump
her without an eye blink.

You have to simply get out of the situation
permanently, and make up your mind never to
get into another such.

**JubesInquest** · 07-24-2007 11:42 AM

Originally Posted by kaylar

Never be the other woman.

Firstly, 99.99% of the time HE HAS ABSOLUTELY
NO INTENTION OF LEAVING HIS WIFE.

I shout this, because over the past decades,
it is only one case in which a man left his wife
for the O.W. who happened to be a gold digger
and would not let go. (He had a lot of money)

She, who was after his money, got him to marry
her and then went after other men, and was divorced
but as she had a child for him, she came out alright.

OUtside of that case; men don't leave their wives
for other women. Simply put, if the wife was so
bad he would have divorced her before he met you.

If he fell so insanely in love, he'd go for a divorce
within weeks of the relationship beginning.

Married men want something 'on the side'.
They will lie, cheat, trick, do whatever they
can to get another woman and then, when they
find a new one or their wife is threatening, dump
her without an eye blink.

You have to simply get out of the situation
permanently, and make up your mind never to
get into another such.

I like the way Kaylar puts it!

May I also add this:

If, and I do mean in one of those remotely rare cases, if the man leaves his wife for you, he'll cheat on you just like he did his wife.

These things repeat themselves.

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