Together for 5 years, new baby no marriage

**kelsey30** · 07-23-2007 05:39 PM

I have been with my boyfriend for over 5 years, we just had a baby boy in April. He asked me to marry him in December 05 but never set a date. After a big fight he took the ring back and said he didnt want to get married. Long story short he has given the ring back but has never said anything about marriage. But gets very upset if I dont wear the ring. I just need some advise.

**JubesInquest** · 07-24-2007 11:26 AM

Originally Posted by kelsey30

I have been with my boyfriend for over 5 years, we just had a baby boy in April. He asked me to marry him in December 05 but never set a date. After a big fight he took the ring back and said he didnt want to get married. Long story short he has given the ring back but has never said anything about marriage. But gets very upset if I dont wear the ring. I just need some advise.

The ball is in your court.

Well, look at it this way:

You 2 had a big fight and he took back his ring.
Love is this:

Even if I get mad at you, have a big fight with you, I still love you; so, I don't take back my ring. The ring just symbolizes my love for you throughout all eternity... ever heard of an "eternity ring"?

Now just imagine if you were married to him, and you got into this big fight.
Would he want your wedding ring back? Will he take off his wedding ring?

That's not real love, dearest.

I've been married 17 years and me & my hubby don't see eye-to-eye on everything--we're not supposed to because we are still 2 different people.

You can agree to disagree; you can compromise and just get an understanding of each other's view and work on it from there.

But to take back a ring and then say you don't want to be married shows this guy is immature and acts like spoiled brat.
How's the marriage supposed to work in his eyes? You have to keep letting him have his way, then everything is ok in the marriage?

Now it's up to you if you want to live with that or not.
I wouldn't be bothered.

**wenwen** · 08-04-2007 07:34 AM

hi,,,

Dear Kelsey30,
I'm here wanna share my feeling & my experinces too.
I think you better think of is he your future husband? What type of men do you really want to marry?

Dear JubesInquest,
I faced a same situation where I want to marry.
I hv a boyfriends and we jus together for about 5 months, if I tell my friends that I want to marry, sure they will laugh at me because I'm jus 23 in this years. I had many bad experince in my relationship past 5 years and it does'nt go well.
Now, I'm turn to my sixth relationship. I always wish I can hav a great relationship, great marriage in future. I don't want a short relation anymore. I worry bout my relation can turn to .....??
And I worry is he my life partner? Can we bear commitment together? Is he willing to build a perfect home wit me?
There a lot of question in my head.
I need some advise too.
Thankyou!

**JubesInquest** · 08-07-2007 10:13 AM

Originally Posted by wenwen

hi,,,

Dear Kelsey30,
I'm here wanna share my feeling & my experinces too.
I think you better think of is he your future husband? What type of men do you really want to marry?

Dear JubesInquest,
I faced a same situation where I want to marry.
I hv a boyfriends and we jus together for about 5 months, if I tell my friends that I want to marry, sure they will laugh at me because I'm jus 23 in this years. I had many bad experince in my relationship past 5 years and it does'nt go well.
Now, I'm turn to my sixth relationship. I always wish I can hav a great relationship, great marriage in future. I don't want a short relation anymore. I worry bout my relation can turn to .....??
And I worry is he my life partner? Can we bear commitment together? Is he willing to build a perfect home wit me?
There a lot of question in my head.
I need some advise too.
Thankyou!

WenWen,

You say you've been with your boyfriend only 5 months, right?

It does take time for you 2 to get to know each other. You ask the questions in your post, such as:

"Is he my life partner? Can we bear commitment together? Is he willing to build a perfect home wit me?"

Think very carefully about these things; but moreso, think about your answers to these questions.

Do YOU think he's your life partner? You may think so. Can you 2 have a committed relationship? Is he committed to YOU? Can you 2 have a [perfect] home? I don't know of any "perfect" homes, but I do know that there are homes where people work together--even when they disagree.

Just look at your situation and ask yourself these questions. Be observant as well.

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