Thread: UPDATE___Freaking out

Poor girl....

Just trust in him....if he wanted to hide anything from you he wouldn't have TOLD you he was going to her apartment. If he still wanted to be with her he wouldn't return her things. I am sure he knows you are uncomfortable with it.

I know I would be somewhat uncomfortable knowing my man were going to her apartment, I would ask that she come pick up her own things, but guys think different than we do....they just want to get things done and over with. My hubby has an ex wife that he can't stand, but when he takes his kids home and I am not with him he will come back and tell me about a conversation they had and he will laugh....I know how much he can't stand her, but it doesn't stop that small ball of jealousy....I know beyond a shadow of a doubt that he would rather "hit himself in the sack with a hammer" than EVER be with her again (those are his own words) but we girls are paranoid sometimes for no other reason than we don't want ANY other woman around our man....past, present or otherwise. : ) But I truly trust him and the feelings I get are VERY short lived....

Let it pass....love him, don't be insecure, men love a woman that trusts and is confident.

Originally Posted by tinkerbell930

Poor girl....

Just trust in him....if he wanted to hide anything from you he wouldn't have TOLD you he was going to her apartment. If he still wanted to be with her he wouldn't return her things. I am sure he knows you are uncomfortable with it.

I know I would be somewhat uncomfortable knowing my man were going to her apartment, I would ask that she come pick up her own things, but guys think different than we do....they just want to get things done and over with. My hubby has an ex wife that he can't stand, but when he takes his kids home and I am not with him he will come back and tell me about a conversation they had and he will laugh....I know how much he can't stand her, but it doesn't stop that small ball of jealousy....I know beyond a shadow of a doubt that he would rather "hit himself in the sack with a hammer" than EVER be with her again (those are his own words) but we girls are paranoid sometimes for no other reason than we don't want ANY other woman around our man....past, present or otherwise. : ) But I truly trust him and the feelings I get are VERY short lived....

Let it pass....love him, don't be insecure, men love a woman that trusts and is confident.

Switz,

Was the ex a partner in the business?? I keep thinking she was.

I don't understand why she didn't get a change of address and inform all those who send her mail of the new address, or at least go to the post office and put a forwarding address on her mail!

Why didn't SHE come get her OWN phone? Why hasn't she contacted the bank and get her name removed from the accounts?

She acts like she wanted to have some sort of contact with him.
I think he should have let her come pick her stuff her own self...

Switz, you have to trust somebody sometime.... if you feel like you can't trust, do some self-examining. Is this a real or a perceived threat? Rather than get into a lot of arguments about if he's cheating or not, let it go.

If you start up arguments based on trust issues, you 2 will eventually break up. Nobody wants to be accused of something they didn't do; neither do they want to constantly defend themselves against accusations when they haven't done a thing!

Not to knock your b/f or anything, but why is he going with ladies that work for him? If the ex wants to be nasty about it, she can say it was sexual harassment at the job.

Originally Posted by switzgirl

THANK YOU TINKERBELL.thats the kind of uplifting message i needed.
let me clarify some things about the ex.
she has always had her own job-completely seperate from the shop and resteraunt-but she was pretty much a part of the family...so when my boyfriends mother opened the resteraunt ---she (the ex)helped out alot...its fine dining and she had previous exp. to help them--my boyfriends mother(who jsut passed away last year)trusted the ex enough to allow her to be on accounts and that kind of thing....she played quite a role with employees and stuff...
so when momma bear passed away-the load became much bigger for my boyfriend his father....and his then fiance'.....running a resteraunt and custom cabinetry shop---anyway they were together for 5 years... and he only had to serious relationships before that...hes almost 34 now....so the "sexual harrasment" thing is a way far fetched and quite rude assumption.

so the "sexual harrassment" thing is a way far fetched and quite rude assumption.

First off, you didn't include this in your post... at least not that I've seen anyway. IF you did, then I apologize.

Second, IF you read correctly, I said (and I quote) "IF she wanted to be nasty about it." So, is she being nasty about anything? Did you notice I used the condition, "IF"? Perhaps you didn't notice because you instantly became defensive. Oh well.

Third, a hit dog will holler. Are you touchy because I asked why does he go with women that work for him? Don't be. I will ask because of what I read. So to say that my comment was "way far fetched and quite rude assumption" sounds like a nerve was struck.
Calm down. It's not that serious -- it was just a question.

Thrive on confrontation?

No, dearie. I'm just making sure you got what I said right.
You didn't and I corrected you. If you call that confrontation, then I'll just put you on iggy b/c you'd rather take things the way you'd like--right or wrong.

Demeaning? How is that? Maybe your confidence level is on the low.

"This is a place where women can talk and relate ... not make one another feel small or ******"

You came to this conclusion b/c I pointed out that you didn't note that I used the condition "if" ??? Also "a hit dog will holler" is an expression that simply means a comment was made that must've hit too close to home.

switzgirl-
I was just checking to see how things went...did your boyfriend have anything to tell you?
Hopefully that will be the last you all have to deal with this ex of his! Just thank God he doesn't have kids with her. (I assume that because he was only taking "stuff" to her and you never mentioned any other attachments).
I really hope alll is well and would love to hear how things turned out!