Help?!?

**blueyed21** · 08-21-2007 02:19 PM

Okay, I have an issue! Me and my boyfriend have been together for over 2 years now and we live together. Lately we have been arguing a lot over silly things but mostly about trusting one another. We used to have this rule or I guess a promise to eachother that when we go out without eachother that we would let eachother know where we would be and kind of get permission before we do go out. Well lately he has been going off with his friends and if I call him he gets mad, when I get home from work and he's not home I wonder...so last night I went off with one of my friends and he called me like every 10 minutes, then gets mad when I don't come home when he says I should. I can play his little game too! It's really unfair when he can do whatever he wants but I can't??!! And not only that, but he has a lot of single friends, and that's really hard to deal with in a relationship, because deep down I trust him but there's always that little bit of insecurity in the back of my mind. I don't know what to do...maybe I should just ignore it and let him get over this phase.... ???

**Jredneckgurl** · 08-23-2007 11:26 AM

I dunno what to tell you sweetie.. I think you should give it some time.. Let him be him.. You have everyright to do it to him.. Treat others as you would have them treat you ya know.. Good luck girl and I know everything will work out.. It always does!

**JubesInquest** · 08-23-2007 11:40 AM

Blueyed,

Has your b/f done anything to make you think he's cheating? Has he done anything that would cause you not to trust him?
You have to trust somebody sometime!

I know it's not fair that he doesn't do what you do... you let him know where you are and things, but he doesn't to that in return.

It doesn't mean he's cheating on you; he may feel that like that's "mothering" him. I know that's not your intention.

Just don't worry about it. Trust until you have proof--then take it from there.

**blueyed21** · 08-23-2007 12:40 PM

Thanks JubesInquest! I guess it's just really hard for me, he's never given me a reason not to trust him, but I've been cheated on in the past and I know it's not fair for me to not trust him b/c of what some other guy did to me in my past but because of that I guess I'm just alittle bit too insecure. I am not the prettiest girl out there and I guess I feel he's just going to find someone better.

I know he loves me but he does lie a lot and most of his lies are small and innocent but if he can tell them and he knows I'll believe him, who's to say that he won't lie about something big. This happened not too long ago...I was out of town and him and his friends were all hanging out, I had asked him to please not go to the strip club while I was out of town, b/c I usually go with him. He said okay and that he wouldn't do that. Well about 3 days ago I found out when his friend slipped up and said something about them going. My b/f still tried to play it off and then told me the truth the next day. He lied to me!! I was mad, not really at the fact that it was a strip club but the fact that he disrespected me and went anyways. Maybe the fact that he lies sometimes is why I'm insecure?!?

**JubesInquest** · 08-23-2007 01:04 PM

Originally Posted by blueyed21

Thanks JubesInquest! I guess it's just really hard for me, he's never given me a reason not to trust him, but I've been cheated on in the past and I know it's not fair for me to not trust him b/c of what some other guy did to me in my past but because of that I guess I'm just alittle bit too insecure. I am not the prettiest girl out there and I guess I feel he's just going to find someone better.

I know he loves me but he does lie a lot and most of his lies are small and innocent but if he can tell them and he knows I'll believe him, who's to say that he won't lie about something big. This happened not too long ago...I was out of town and him and his friends were all hanging out, I had asked him to please not go to the strip club while I was out of town, b/c I usually go with him. He said okay and that he wouldn't do that. Well about 3 days ago I found out when his friend slipped up and said something about them going. My b/f still tried to play it off and then told me the truth the next day. He lied to me!! I was mad, not really at the fact that it was a strip club but the fact that he disrespected me and went anyways. Maybe the fact that he lies sometimes is why I'm insecure?!?

Having been cheated on before by an ex, adding to that your current beau has lied to you about small things, causes you to wonder if he can be trusted.

I can understand your feelings about him not respecting your wishes while you were away.
Your reasoning is proper, in that you figure, "If he lies to me about little things, what about bigger things?"

If you choose to remain with him, then, you'll have to have some amount of trust; but always, in the back of your mind, you will have that little "doubt" because of what he's done.

Oh, my, and what's this about not being the "prettiest" girl out there? Do you know there are some "pretty" girls that are so screwed up in the head, that no one wants to deal with them? Pretty has got nothing to do with a good head on your shoulders and warm heart in a person!
If he comes to you and says he's found someone better, don't even worry about that! Someone will always see the good in you and love you for it.

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