Thread: Split up with my boyfriend.. so depressed :(

Originally Posted by papillon

Hey,

Sorry this is gonna be a long one, but I could really do with some advice...

For the last 18 months I've been with an amazing guy who I could honestly imagine myself having a future with.. even though I'm only 19...

Everything was great. We spent the last year 2 hours apart at different unis but were coping ok, seeing eachother every other weekend.

Because we are both doing language degrees, and he's in the year above me, we are going to be spending the next 2 academic years in different countries. I honestly thought we could make it through it, and until recently he said the same...

The last few weeks he started acting really quiet and I knew something was wrong. Then last weekend he said he thought we should split up so we can really get the most out of our years away. He also said he thought I'd become too reliant on him (which is true..) and I should meet other guys and stuff. Then, after the 2 years if we get back together we'll know it's meant to be and won't have any regrets. He says that at the moment he can definitely imagine us getting back together but obviously after a while things can change...

He came round this weekend and we got on great, just like before he went all quiet. But it's reminded me how much I love him. He seems to be fine now. He's someone who's almost always happy and he said although he was sad last week now he's not letting it bother him cos he doesn't like feeling like that. But it's not that easy!!!

I just don't know how to move on. I know this happens to loads of people every day and it's just a part of life but I feel awful.. I don't want to just stop seeing him... but I know that each time I see him I'm gonna end up feeling upset like I do now. I'm supposed to be going out to see him in France in 4 weeks time. I want to, to see him and to see what a French uni is like seeing as I'll be going in a year, but I don't want to take a 'step backwards' as he calls it and end up feeling depressed again.

What can I do to make myself feel better? Without meaning to sound ******ly pathetic and over dramatic I really don't think I've ever felt this depressed

Please help

So, he broke up with you after a week or so of being silent, right?
And he wants you to meet other guys and the 2 of you can be "free" to see other people.
But for you, YOU feel much better being with him; and he feels better knowing that he will be out around others.

Ok, if he broke up with you and wants you to see other people, then all you can do is respect his wishes.

He said something to the effect of: if you 2 get back together after 2 years, then the both of you will know it's "meant to be."

At this time, if he wants space, then you'll have to give him space. Accept what he's saying to you.
Of course you don't want to let go or "move on". It does happen to people everyday, like you said, but it can be difficult for you.

Try doing things with other friends; do you have a study group? How about a group of your friends going to spend time with each other? Do you have time to go to the movies? Just learn to do fun things without him.

The more you do things with others, the more comfortable you'll feel about the decision that was made.

I hope everything works out for you.