funny story really..first off, my parents are insane! soo when they catch me and my cousin smoking, they pretty much decide its best to ruin my life. and by ruining my life, i mean, NO CAR, NO PHONE, NO COMPUTER, NO WEEKENDS, so in a round about way, NO LIFE! They tell me i need to act more like an adult, when i really i need to be treated more like an adult. i turn 18 in about a month, and so, i think, if i make the choice to smoke, good or bad, i should have the choice to smoke, considering i can buy them whenever i want, sooner than they think. that's besides the point. another thing is, they think that my boyfriend and friends, are influencing me to make these decisions, because they dont think that i could possibly make this decision on my own, like everything else. every bad decision that has ever come along in my life, is never blamed on me, but the people around me. which usually, is far from the truth. every bad decision i've made has always been up to me and noone else has ever pressured me to do anything different. my friends usually try to talk me out of a lot of the things i do because they dont want me to get introuble or make bad decisions. i wish that my parents could see how great my friends really are and maybe then they would realize that most of the decisions i make are based on how much stress i have in my life. i know that i cant make up excuses for the things that i do wrong, and i have no reason to blame my problems on anyone else but myself, but atleast when i do make wrong decisions, i know it and i'll admit it, and whenever i do become aware of a mistake i've made, i put a lot of effort to fix it and try to make things better for mine and my familys life. i really hate how much my parents over react and how much these little problems become the biggest weight on there sholders, and i dont like to be the one that always causes problems and become such a burden in there lives. maybe im the one that has the problem and i do make too many wrong decisions for my age. i thought that teenagers are supposed to try new things and most of they're, good or bad, experiences are done at this age. i just hope that later along the line, my family and i will look back on everything and laugh and we all have learned from our mistakes by then. i would just likle to know whose right or wrong here??

Your parents are right for telling you not to smoke! Smoking is disgusting, a hard habit to break, and can absolutely wreck your health.
But otherwise, I know where you are coming from. In cultures where children move out of the parents' home, there is almost always a falling-out, and that's what you're witnessing. In other cultures where the child stays with the parents indefinitely, this falling-out doesn't exist. Why? The parents want to feel like they are still a force in their children's lives, but they know they have to pull away and that their force is diminishing. You are simultaneously going to try your wings, make your own decisions, and struggle against their power.
I am 19 and I don't get along with my parents. I speak to them less than once a month if I can manage. Why? My mother is mentally ill and has always acted irrationally towards me and my father has let it happen. When I turned 18, I wanted out of my house immediately but I was still in school and so couldn't leave. You will be victim to the same situation ... as long as you are in high school, I'm sorry, but they DO have power over you. So you should stop rebelling for now. And stop smoking for your own good.
Are you moving out as soon as you graduate? Are you going to college? If you go to school, you will be considered their dependent as long as you are a student! You will still be under their insurance and claimed on their tax forms. Whether they give you a penny or not, their income is what your scholarships/financial aide will be based on.
I don't think, based on your post, that your parents are that bad. I think you are making ridiculous choices, like smoking, just to rebel against them. RETHINK your decisions. Rethink your friends. Rethink cancer in 20 years. Do you really want it?
New experiences come all through adulthood. You don't have to try everything your friends do. Weigh consequences.
Good luck!

Get over it.
Car, TV, Phone....etc are all privileges of living in your parents household. I'm sure you'll live another month without these things....people have survived on this earth for thousands of years without them.
If you don't like it, get a job and move out on your own.

Messymind- Why don't you make your statement a little more clear about your parents and what exaclty you need help doing. This might help people to understand your problem more clearly and they might be able to actually help you! On my post people helped me through a probblem I was having.... I think you need help on how to handle your parents.....

Messymind,

I'll tell it to you like it is:

As long as you live in your parent's house, you must abide by their rules.
Otherwise, when you get YOUR OWN place, you can smoke, have the tv, the computer, go out, drive... whatever.

But just as you are free to do those things when you have your OWN place, you must also act as a responsible adult.

this is one of the smaller problems i've had with my parents. the last post i had was only clarifying what happened that one time, basically to get a few things off my chest. i didn't make a lot of things clear in my last post and i just need to get everything out. i have A LOT of frustration built up and i NEED to get it out! first off, im not one of those preppy es who cries when that get there way or any of that bull **** that some of you were making me out to be. i'm actually completely opposite than that. no car, no phone, no computer is the least of my problems. i m not gonna sit here and tell you that that didnt bother me, because then id just be contridicting myself. i could careless about having a car to be honset, because i NEVER go anywhere! the only time i really hangout with my friends is at school, which my parents have threatened to take me out so they can home school me. they feel that school isn't a safe enviornment for me and that i dont hang around the right people, which they no nothing about because they haven't met any of my friends because i'm not a loud to have anyone over! why do you think i got caught smoking in my bathroom?? if i had somewhere else to go, trust i would have! which, by the way, i do not have a habit of smoking. i've actually only smoked three times in my entire life and i really dont even like it. the only reason why i did it, was because i get soo f*ing bored sitting at home doing nothing all day, that when my cousin tells me she has cigs and she smokes all the time in her bathroom and never gets caught if you have a vent on, i'm willing to risk it because it seems rather exciting and i would kinda like to get caught just to be doing something other than sitting around all day with nothing at all to do. My mom has literally ATTACKED ME because i was on the phone past ten. thats happened several times actually! how would you like it when your talking to some guy you really like and your having a great converstaion when all of a sudden your mom comes out of nowhere yelling, "get off that f*ing phone now or i'll beat your ***, and i have a few choice of words for that boy!" as your struggling to get the phone away from her so she doesn't scare this guy off and make you feel like an idiot, so you hang up on him so he can avoid listening to what she has to say. i dont know about you, but i found that rather humiliating...to be cont.

Messymind,

who's making you out to be a "preppy b****" ?
Only YOU called yourself that.

It is just a plain and simple fact that as long as you live under your parent's roof, you MUST abide by THEIR rules.
I did that until I moved out.
It doesn't mean I liked all the rules, but I had to obey them. When I got my own place, I had my OWN rules.

You're a teen and your mom allows you to be on her phone until 10 p.m. You know this, right? So, talk to whomever it is earlier so you'll have more time to talk.

Also, since you're not a regular smoker, from what you've said, it sounds like you're simply rebelling against your parents when you smoke in their bathroom.

How are your grades? I was thinking that if your grades are good, your parents should allow you to participate in some kind of extracurricular activities. Just hanging around a house IS definitely boring, and teens should have some kind of an outlet... a constructive outlet to get all their frustration and aggression out of their system.

Are you interested in sports? Chess club? Math club? Softball? Band?
If your grades are good, you should go to your parents and make your case!
Just say, "Mom, Dad, I'm interested in _________________(name your activity) and I have good grades and I need some activity to be involved in."

I can't see them telling you "no". But, hey, what do I know? I would hope they tell you "yes".
My kids are involved in school activites, and it's good for them. Kids need things to do other than just go to school and come home.

If you straighten up and make more of an effort to go by your parents rules, they may let up and let you have more freedom to participate in constructive activities. Things have a way of working out.