Forum:

Page 1 of 2 12 LastLast
Results 1 to 10 of 12

Thread: My Boyfriend is addicted to porn and its killing me!!!

  1. #1
    Junior Member Array
    Join Date
    Nov 2012
    Posts
    4

    Default My Boyfriend is addicted to porn and its killing me!!!


    I don't know what the hell to do at this point. My boyfriend has been telling me that it is normal, and that I just need to "get the ******** over it" and that he's "being a normal guy." He's 23, I understand his sexual desires but what the hell, why can't he have them with me?! I have told him countless amounts of times that I DON'T CARE if he watches porn AS LONG AS I AM NOT AROUND. He was good for a little bit, and then we just stopped having sex. I am in Nursing school, and I also work 3 jobs. I am never home. He watches porn every day, sometimes to get off but also watches it just "for fun." Lately, he's been doing it way more, every day, its everywhere. He also doesn't clean up his "mess" when he's done. So when I get into the shower, my feet get sticky and that ****ES me off more than ANYTHING! Last night, he was watching porn right next to me in bed. He tries to hide it, and he also lies about it a lot. I woke up from the bed shaking and said "what the ******** are you doing?" he says "nothing.." I said, "why are you hard...?" he says, "I'm not!!!" defensively. So i grabbed his ipad and opened the internet up. Sure enough "Emo Busty Babe Masturbates" is playing. I told him I was ********ing sick of him doing this when I was home, and also lying to me about it. I'm not an idiot. When i confronted him, he starts yelling at me and telling me that I'M insecure and I need to get over it and the reason we don't have sex anymore is because I push him away because I'm so weird about his porn addiction. I'm sick of it because we never have sex anymore, and he is fantasizing about other women. Getting off to girls with bigger boobs than me, more tan than me, more skinny, etc. It's making me insecure and unbelieveably ****ed off. If he would pay more attention to me in general, but also sexually, he wouldnt feel like he needed to get off to these ridiculous sites. It also ****es me off because lately its ******** like EMO girls (not that I have anything wrong with emo girls, it just weirds me out that he's into that.) And last night, it was all chat room stuff. That brought it to a whole new level for me... First it was just fantasizing about these women but now he is actually talking to them, and its not harmless talk. It's VERY sexual talk. It's killing me and wearing me down. I have no idea what to do, and I have no support system. Help?!

  2. #2
    jns
    jns is offline
    Triple Diamond Member (3,000+ posts & member 3 years+) Array jns's Avatar
    Join Date
    Mar 2010
    Location
    LA, CA
    Posts
    5,902

    Default

    hanny, you are fine as you are. You are reading the tea leaves correctly. Is he interested in slowing down or stopping the porn? If not, there isn't much you can do except to endure it or break up with him.
    I have but one lamp by which my feet are guided, and that is the lamp of experience.
    ...
    Shall we gather strength by irresolution and inaction? Shall we acquire the means of effectual resistance by lying supinely on our backs and hugging the delusive phantom of hope, until our enemies shall have bound us hand and foot?

    Patrick Henry

  3. #3
    Junior Member Array
    Join Date
    Nov 2012
    Posts
    4

    Default

    I tell him I hate it more than anything, and that we need to spend more time together. His responce is to criticize me and say that I'm nuts for being offended by it and that he is just being a normal guy. Yes, masturbating is ok if its done occaisionally however, this isnt just masturbating. It's fantasizing about other women, not spending any time with me and he is doing it almost every day. When I'm home, and when I'm not home. He also lies about it. It drives me insane!

  4. #4
    Silver Contributor 100+ Posts Array Pollon's Avatar
    Join Date
    Nov 2012
    Location
    California
    Posts
    327

    Default

    Hanny,

    I know you would like to fix him and your relationship. However, a successful relationship requires a lot of things, but at a minimum, it requires respect for the other person and respect for the relationship from both parties. By engaging in activities that undermine your security and attacking you for voicing your needs he demonstrates no respect for you.

    By continuing to do what he knows is undermining the relationship, he is demonstrating a lack of respect for the relationship and how little he values it.

    It may well be an addiction, but that is a problem he needs to acknowledge and deal with. Sounds like he isn't doing that.

    You are obviously a smart, competent, hardworking woman. So the questions is, what keeps you in this?

    Good luck

  5. #5
    Junior Member Array michavalos's Avatar
    Join Date
    Nov 2012
    Posts
    16

    Default

    I can say watching porn is common and somehow "natural" for men, but in what I have read, it is a different story. Maybe you have tried your best to confront him. Have you tried breaking up with him for that reason? what is his reaction? You can still save the relationship you have, one thing you need to do is to have a heartily talk with him.
    being healthy is our responsibility

  6. #6
    Junior Member Array
    Join Date
    Nov 2012
    Posts
    2

    Default

    As a guy, I can tell you that watching porn is very normal.... and chatting with an anonymous person can be a bit of harmless fun.... but if he isn't paying attention to you and is continuing to shove it in your face when you have told him you don't like it, then that is disrespectful and needs to stop.

  7. #7
    Junior Member Array
    Join Date
    Dec 2012
    Posts
    5

    Default

    Can I add, that I completely disagree with JuanValdez76- chatting to an anonymous person is NOT harmless fun! I understand that men watch porn and agree that watching porn is natural and harmless, however chatting sexually to someone is NOT ok. It is no longer just fantasising to get off as one does in porn but rather behaving sexually with another person. Regardless of whether that person is behind a computer screen or not it is still a person that he is engaging in sexualised contact with. If he were texting the same comments to someone, how would you feel? Betrayed perhaps? This is the same. The porn is not what you should be ****ed about the chatting is. Good luck.

  8. #8
    Junior Member Array
    Join Date
    Dec 2012
    Posts
    4

    Default

    you need to end that relationship, you should be enough for him,
    chatting with another woman is definately CHEATINGGG in my book.
    He should want to look at you, watch you masturbate (not saying you into that jus an example)
    watch you shower or strip or jus be with you and focus on you fantasize about you and love you
    for you. even if you guys dont have that relationship, i sure dont, and believe me i make sure my boyfriend
    does not look at porn, he should be infatuated about you, not about other woman, your in love with him,
    would you look at a better lookin guy or someone with a better body and get off to that? get off to that stranger?
    or get off to your man, the one you love? lookin at porn is normal for teenagers, not grown men, especially not grown
    men in a relationship. I found my boyfriend with nude pics of girls on his phone, and I broke up with him for like a day
    but he expressed how sry he was and ect so now were still together (2yrs) he never looks at porn he looks at my
    pics and wants me. and if he was chatting to these girls, i would of never got back with him,
    point isss he should stop for you, he should know hes hurting you more and more everyday,
    but he seems to not care. take that into consideration.

  9. #9
    Junior Member Array
    Join Date
    Dec 2012
    Posts
    3

    Default

    I think its best to end this relationship as well, unfortunately.
    I love living life and appreciate every moment!

  10. #10
    VIP Member Array
    Join Date
    Nov 2012
    Posts
    55

    Default

    Hi Hanny,
    If you're not happy in this relationship, think about ? Discontinuing it. He is most likely behaving like most of the adult male population. However, this is damaging your self-confidence and body image. Don't blame yourself, you are fine. Don't ever be pushed/or forced into doing anything you feel uncomfortable with. Tell him no, he should be making you feel wonderful. If he isn't? Is he right for you?
    Does he want just an no strings sexual relationship and show no commitment to you?
    Not fair he is using these chat sites, un-faithful really. Hard for you working three Jobs, he needs to be more understanding if a future is in your relationship. Make him clean up after himself or put something down instead.
    I hope you find happiness really soon.
    Take care
    Kate.

Page 1 of 2 12 LastLast

Similar Threads

  1. What to do if husband is addicted to porn?
    By km13 in forum Husband/Fiance
    Replies: 23
    Last Post: 06-07-2014, 11:10 AM
  2. my fiance is addicted to porn and i'm so lost
    By luckytobealady in forum Husband/Fiance
    Replies: 107
    Last Post: 11-08-2011, 12:28 PM
  3. Porn,sex dating sites and lies are killing our marriage.
    By mollymandy5 in forum Husband/Fiance
    Replies: 5
    Last Post: 06-27-2010, 04:09 PM
  4. Husband addicted to teen porn
    By energystar in forum Husband/Fiance
    Replies: 4
    Last Post: 07-19-2009, 02:10 AM
  5. BF addicted to porn
    By panda1981 in forum Sex
    Replies: 35
    Last Post: 10-02-2007, 01:44 PM

Tags for this Thread

Bookmarks

Posting Permissions

  • You may not post new threads
  • You may not post replies
  • You may not post attachments
  • You may not edit your posts
  •  

Beauty & Style | Fitness & Nutrition | Family & Relationships | Sex & Sexual Health | Physical & Mental Health | Girl Talk | Forum Home
Home | Health Library | Contact | Terms Of Service | Contact | Privacy Policy

© Womens-Health.com 2014 and Emerge Media