Thread: Why can't I walk away?

I have been in an on/off relationship for over 2 years. He is only 7 years older than me but has been around the block a few times and has a reputation which I was aware of, but I really didn't think I would end up falling head over heels in love!
I had left my previous partner as I had started to have feelings for this new man and very quickly it got serious but then after a few months the violence started, he hit me a few times and I still went back every time, something I always said I wouldn't do if any man ever hit me. Despite the violence I still loved this man so much but then it turns out he was meeting up with and contacting other girls behind my back. I walked away every time, but within a week I always went back as he knew what to say and do to get me back.
It has now come to the point where I feel like I'm a mess and that I can't cope without him and I hate the thought of him being with someone new. Jealousy was a huge issue in the relationship, on both sides!
Now I have to see him driving round town in another girls car, who he just uses for a car and for her to take him places, and it's killing me. This has been something he has done throughout our relationship with this girl and it infuriates me that she lets him! He doesn't acknowledge her if I'm with him and tells everyone nothing is going on with them.
I have decided that this is definitely the end now, I'm 28 and I have a child to think about, not by this man though, so it should be easy for me to walk away and not look back but over time he has dragged my confidence down so much that I feel I'll never find anyone decent again!
I feel such a fool that I let this go on for so long, and now I'm finding it hard to be the happy go lucky, confiddent girl I know I was 2 years ago!!!

Go find a women's shelter for someone to talk to. The women at these places know where you are coming from and they know how hard it is to leave. Low self esteem and codependancy really beat you up. Don't worry about the future or for looking for someone decent. Now is the time to leave and heal. Your daughter needs her mom. The folks at the women's shelter will help you.