Find and read the book "The 5 Love Languages".
I am also married to a work-a-holic...and we will be married 15 yrs this Feb. I went through a lot of years feeling the same way you have described. This book helped me a ton. You will learn that you both have different ways of FEELING loved, and SHOWING love. and you are trying to show him you love him in the way you would like him to show you. And he probably thinks he is showing you he loves you, but its in his language not yours so you don't feel it. well that was more confusing but read it, it will make sense and maybe it will help you like it did me. Good Luck