Thread: Maturity Hurts Round II

Young women are beautiful - I don't think men can honestly ignore that. As they get older and more mature, men (or at least I) realize that physical beauty really isn't important. I can appreciate a beautiful young woman as I would appreciate a work of art - but I don't want to date, or sleep with a piece of art. The woman I love is, and alway will be beautiful - she hasn't changed at all in 25 years. I have never found myself comparing her to others.

"she is half my age" does suggest regret - but it is just the regret that comes with age. I regret that I didn't learn to hang glide, or surf, or ski, or rock climb..... when I was younger. Maybe I even regret I spent too much time studying, and too little dating, when I was young. But - that doesn't mean I want any of those things - or even would have when I was younger. (as I picture myself out of work with 2 broken legs, and a beautiful, but horrible girlfriend complaining at me <g>).


A suggestion though - A smile is the most attractive thing a woman can wear. If you can be self confident and happy, you will be beautiful and desirable. If you are depressed, suspicious, withdrawn you will not. I know this is much easier said than done - but it is very important.

Originally Posted by SorridLives

.....This is about a woman who finds herself insecure in her middle aged years.

........ I find myself in love but insecure and feeling very vulnerable. Everything feels like a threat to me. I sometimes am okay, but, at other times, I feel helpless and hopeless. .......

Sometimes I'd like to be alone and stay alone. I feel terrible.

I can certainly sympathize with how you feel. I just turned 40 earlier this year and it has depressed me in a way I can't describe. At times I feel as though I'm worthless, maybe that's because so much emphasis in society seems to be put on being young.

Originally Posted by rcoreyus

Young women are beautiful - I don't think men can honestly ignore that. As they get older and more mature, men (or at least I) realize that physical beauty really isn't important. I can appreciate a beautiful young woman as I would appreciate a work of art - but I don't want to date, or sleep with a piece of art. The woman I love is, and alway will be beautiful - she hasn't changed at all in 25 years. I have never found myself comparing her to others.

It would be so nice if all men thought they way you do - hopefully more do than I think.

Originally Posted by SorridLives

I am here under a different name because my old screen name here gave me away too much to those I love. Maybe you can tell who I am, but don't blurt it out, please.
This is just a vent, so comment or don't even bother reading it if the topic bores you already. This is about a woman who finds herself insecure in her middle aged years.
I have a relatively new relationship for a woman my age. I have had divorces. Now, I find myself in love but insecure and feeling very vulnerable. Everything feels like a threat to me. I sometimes am okay, but, at other times, I feel helpless and hopeless. There was a time when nothing bothered me....not even a real threat (most other people would have thought the man in question at that time was cheating) of a man cheating phased me in my younger years. I knew there were other men in the sea and plenty who thought I was a great catch, or probabably would be great date, or a great lay, at the least.
Now, I know I am not as desirable to as many. I know I catch the eye of men my age, older, and some younger....but I am not 24 or 25 anymore. Now, my man looks at 20-somethings (women) and yearns for his younger years. He loves me....but, when he sees a beautiful 20-something year old girl, I think (from hints of what he has said out loud) he tells himself the girl is "half his age" rather than he is in love and happy. Wonder why. ????
Today, I met a girl he has been in contact with recently for a brief period out of necessity. She is about 25 and beautiful. I thought to myself how much she looks like the playboy centerfold he has been looking at this month....and wondering about his fantasies while masturbating. I feel he still is doing plenty of masturbating when I am not around.
Sometimes I'd like to be alone and stay alone. I feel terrible.

Signed, Sad

I just read your post and tried to figure out what has happened to me that I have sailed through these years you speak about.. Long ago I passed middle age but did not stop at go. I just kept rolling along. Kept on making love and smiling at people and letting the rest of the world go by. A man is a man is a man. If he doesn't make you feel good about yourself then it is time to say good bye Charlie. The right man will make you feel like a Queen. If my husband dare look at another woman longingly he just may walk stooped over for getting a kick in the balls. I have been here with him during my good years and now baby, you had better light my fire.

Stop fighting age and embrace it. There is a new you inside that is ready to grow. I have found that these are the most wonderful and sexually satisfying days of my life. Try going back to a place in your life that made you happy. Expand on it. Yesterday's were some wonderful days and the feelings are still there inside all of us. Stop thinking of all that is gone and walk with the confidence of a woman that has only just begun.....It shows believe me....The whole world smiles with you for they are seeing the glory of a new woman entering the most special time in her life....I know, I live there....

I send you my love....Caroline

Originally Posted by rcoreyus

Young women are beautiful - I don't think men can honestly ignore that. As they get older and more mature, men (or at least I) realize that physical beauty really isn't important. I can appreciate a beautiful young woman as I would appreciate a work of art - but I don't want to date, or sleep with a piece of art. The woman I love is, and alway will be beautiful - she hasn't changed at all in 25 years. I have never found myself comparing her to others.

"she is half my age" does suggest regret - but it is just the regret that comes with age. I regret that I didn't learn to hang glide, or surf, or ski, or rock climb..... when I was younger. Maybe I even regret I spent too much time studying, and too little dating, when I was young. But - that doesn't mean I want any of those things - or even would have when I was younger. (as I picture myself out of work with 2 broken legs, and a beautiful, but horrible girlfriend complaining at me <g>).


A suggestion though - A smile is the most attractive thing a woman can wear. If you can be self confident and happy, you will be beautiful and desirable. If you are depressed, suspicious, withdrawn you will not. I know this is much easier said than done - but it is very important.

Of course, you are right, as always. I am trying....trying...trying. He is a loving man and deserves more than my paranoia and suspicious mind. He can't help that he is also feeling his age a bit. Some days I am better than this. I am trying to work up to being my old self without medication. Many thanks.

Originally Posted by Fallen1

I can certainly sympathize with how you feel. I just turned 40 earlier this year and it has depressed me in a way I can't describe. At times I feel as though I'm worthless, maybe that's because so much emphasis in society seems to be put on being young.



It would be so nice if all men thought they way you do - hopefully more do than I think.

It's not easy getting older (for some of us). You are right,- emphasis is on the young and most beautiful. I want to be everything to my man, and I can't be. I have to keep re-realizing that. It's enough that we love each other...

Originally Posted by CarolineWH

I just read your post and tried to figure out what has happened to me that I have sailed through these years you speak about.. Long ago I passed middle age but did not stop at go. I just kept rolling along. Kept on making love and smiling at people and letting the rest of the world go by. A man is a man is a man. If he doesn't make you feel good about yourself then it is time to say good bye Charlie. The right man will make you feel like a Queen. If my husband dare look at another woman longingly he just may walk stooped over for getting a kick in the balls. I have been here with him during my good years and now baby, you had better light my fire.

Stop fighting age and embrace it. There is a new you inside that is ready to grow. I have found that these are the most wonderful and sexually satisfying days of my life. Try going back to a place in your life that made you happy. Expand on it. Yesterday's were some wonderful days and the feelings are still there inside all of us. Stop thinking of all that is gone and walk with the confidence of a woman that has only just begun.....It shows believe me....The whole world smiles with you for they are seeing the glory of a new woman entering the most special time in her life....I know, I live there....

I send you my love....Caroline

Caroline, you are one spirited woman. My man is good to me and is a normal guy. He does not stare at women or do anything wrong. The problem is with *me*, admittedly. I need to embrace the best I have in me and go forward....happy that I have found love and a man that treats me well....
Love backatchya, Honey.