Make it or Break it?!?
Okay my boyfriend has been away for about a month now. We talk on the phone everyday and just a few days ago we got in a big argument and almost broke it off. I love him so much and I know he loves me. Maybe the distance has just made us stress out a lot. But he's been up and down with his feelings like the other night he was asking if I had packed my bags yet so I could move out there with him and then the next day he's hanging up on me. I don't know what to do. He says that I interrogate him about what he's doing and who he's with. Well he doesn't realize it but he does the same thing when he talks to me. We also have a myspace account and on his status it says he's "single", and when I asked him about it, he said he did it because he knows it aggravates me and he's just playing but he still hasn't changed it. He also says that I'm insecure. I don't think I am, but even if I was, I have every right to be since he's acting so shady. I don't know what to do. I told him that the distance thing is a real test of our relationship and if we can make it through this, we can make it through anything. He wants me to come out there but the way he's been acting, i don't know if I should break it off or try to make it work. Please help, any advice is welcome.
Never stop smiling- it makes everyone wonder what you've been up to....
~Erin
Since your last post it sounds like nothing much has changed in how you guys are adjusting to the miles between. I can only imagine how hard it must be but don't make any hasty decisions yet as all his strange behavior may be solely due to the stressful change.
Maybe you two can get together and work out a weekend visit and it may help you to assess the situation better.
Thanks!
Yea it is really hard! I cry to myself sometimes. I hope that that's all it is. I would plan a weekend visit but I don't have the money for a plane ticket right now with Christmas coming up and all because I live in Georgia and he's in New Mexico. I guess I'm just going to have to wait it out til Christmas when he comes home to visit. It just still seems too long to wait. I don't know how the women who have husbands in the military do it!!! Thanks again!
Never stop smiling- it makes everyone wonder what you've been up to....
~Erin
Women with husbands in the military are with them unless they're in the sandbox ... and men don't think about sex while they're thereBut those of us who are just girlfriends ... go crazy and often.
I would chalk it up to stress, but you have to decide how much of that stress you can take shoved on you. I take Myspace very seriously, as it's a reflection of oneself. Make him change it, and if he doesn't, ASSUME HE MEANS IT.
It's something that you have to go through a captcha to change. It's not something that just happens.
But I wish you the best of luck
Well, technically, he IS single... but why announce that on a "myspace" page?
If you feel it's too much for you, let it go. Stress can be a monster, but it's the way we handle it.
Maybe you 2 are just "crabby" b/c you've been apart for a while ...?
Quitters never win; Winners don't give in
But he's not single. Yeah we're away from eachother for awhile but we never broke up, so we're still "in a relationship". I really want to make it through this short time away from him, that means we'll be able to make it through anything. This is the hardest thing we've had to do. Since he put that he was "single"... I recently changed mine to single, should I have done that or should I have left it at "in a relationship"? I did ask him though if he really wants to be single, and he said no. So I don't know. I'm think I'm just going to stop questioning him until he gets home where we can talk to eachother face to face. That's a lot easier to me. It's just hard waiting it out. Thanks for the advice.
Never stop smiling- it makes everyone wonder what you've been up to....
~Erin
With his relationship status set to single, he's probably getting all kinds of lovely spam mail and/or wh*re-mail, and so too will you unless your privacy settings keep non-friends from sending you messages.
Just set it to "Divorced." It keeps away the creeps and sends him a certain message about your feelings ....
Like I said, make him change it, and if he doesn't, stick by your guns and leave him. That's no little thing. Myspace can be a horrible thing for relationships, but if his status isn't set to "single," then women won't be seeing him in their search queues.
been there done that
HEy Blueyed21. I'm a ex Army girlfiend and i understand were you get at about being so far away. When my boy was in train in AZ (i live in SC) i went crazy with him being away. And you are right it is one of the biggest tests you'll go through in your relationship. And if you can make it through that time you can make it through almost anything. Wait it he gets home to visit, have a good long talk with him about everything before he go'es back. And i totally agress with little tell him to change his single on myspace. tell him if he is playing it in no way is funny and just bc ya'll dont leave near each other anymore doesnt mean he can change his statues. One more thing and i can promise you this there is no point in asking 50 million questions on what he is doing or where hs is at etc. bc he can make up a 100 different stories for you. Trust me on that my boy did the same thing i had his friends calling me to tell me what was really up and then i got my butt over there and set it stright. I hope everything works out fro ya keep us updated
Originally Posted by blueyed21
But he's not single. Yeah we're away from eachother for awhile but we never broke up, so we're still "in a relationship". I really want to make it through this short time away from him, that means we'll be able to make it through anything. This is the hardest thing we've had to do. Since he put that he was "single"... I recently changed mine to single, should I have done that or should I have left it at "in a relationship"? I did ask him though if he really wants to be single, and he said no. So I don't know. I'm think I'm just going to stop questioning him until he gets home where we can talk to eachother face to face. That's a lot easier to me. It's just hard waiting it out. Thanks for the advice.
Well Blueyed, I don't know what's up with him!
I thinkhe likes the offers and attention he's getting on "myspace" as long as he has his status as "single"; otherwise, I would see no reason for it.
"Bratney" is right when she says that no matter how many questions you ask him, he will come up with whatever he wants. He should be more upfront with you.
I'm sure you 2 will have a lot to talk about. I hope it works out for you.
Quitters never win; Winners don't give in
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