Thread: Can opposites really work?

Hi kgo.

I'm more like your boyfriend, preferring to stay at home, while Hubby likes to socialize and have friends over...we've been married for almost 14 years. Sounds like your boyfriend has some level of social anxiety. If that's the case, he feels most comfortable in social settings with people that he's familiar with. It's something that he must want to work on changing, which isn't easy, especially if he's been this way all of his life. Now there will be times when he has to make compromises, such as going to weddings or visiting your family for the holidays, but you will have to decide if you want to live with him as he is, because you won't be able to change him...he has to want that for himself. Have you talked to him about your feelings (in a non-nagging way)?

He is very very tall (almost 7 feet) and absolutely hates it when people comment on his height and this is partially the reason that he doesn't like to go out. I was always really y about it when I talked to him but I tried talking to him in a different way and told him that I loved him for who he was and that I was sorry and wouldn't make him go into any more situations that he was uncomfortable in. He recently decided that he would come to a party with me in a few weeks that I am attending as long as we didn't have to stay for a long period of time. I was so happy that he was willing to meet me half way and try and overcome his anxiety. Your post really made me think and change my attitude, and when I changed mine, it made him change his too. Thank you.

You're welcome. I hope that all goes well for the two of you.