My husband cheated on me...
My husband worked in another country for two years but he's coming home every three months though. I never want a long-distance relationship primarily because I'm afraid that he might need someone else while we're apart. I guess it's a woman's instinct (and believe me...it works all the time) to know if your man is cheating. I know it by heart that he's somehow cheating on me, I feel it but not that sure still. I often confront him and ask him about it...but of course he would deny it.
Then he decided to bring us in and settle with his work-country. I agreed though I just gave birth with the second baby because I know that we're somehow losing the kind of relationship we had before. Two days after we arrived, he confessed that he had an affair but he stopped few months ago. I knew it all along but i was hurt still. I am new on the place and got no one to confide to. I'm so hurt and felt alone. It keeps on bugging my mind thinking that he had sex with the same bed I'm sleeping on. He told me that he actually don't had a relationship with the girl and they're simply **** buddy and he never got involve with her. And the reason why he want us to be with him is because he want to correct his mistakes.
Should I gave him another chance? How can I trust him again?
Well I do believe in womens intuitions, it is very reliable. How do you feel about him being true to you now? It takes alot of work to develope trust again in someone who has cheated, believe me I KNOW. I do believe people can change expecially if they WANT to.... past behaviour prodicts future behaviour unless you MAKE changes .... . You have children with him too, which is a hard choice to stay or go.
Bubbles
I love him and that's a big factor. I admire his being true now and I know it takes a lot of courage for him to admit what he has done. But the thought of him having a ****-buddy....grrrr! And everytime I think of it, it sets my mood off and ending up with a fight and me digging the past.
Long distance relationships are very difficult. If you are going to be near each other now, I would let by gones be by gones. If he is going to spend a long time out of touch (literally), he is likely to cheat again. Don't let it eat you up, or strain your relationship - that will just make it even more likely that he cheats again, might as well, quit now and find someone who won't cheat.
To me you have said the most important words of your relationship....You love him....Knowing of his past, be with him when he travels or keep him home. Some men have this sexual attraction that a woman will go wild to have sex with them... They have this come hither personality, looks that say f**k me and are a hot sexy stud. I know I have one that I live with...Thankfully he is older but don't kid yourself....I watch him.....
Now for the woman involved. Women will raise heaven and earth to make love to this man that they want. A ring on a finger means nothing. They want him more.. They will tempt like a sneaky asp and crawl up him when he does not even suspect it. Their juices flow with want and they see their sexual meal in front of them.... They are a sexual woman and they want their filling just as you and I want ours but unlike us, they have no rules. As you have said above, they want to be f*ck buddies with no strings attached. If they are lucky enough to snare their catch then this is better, but for many they are in just for the sport and the sexual win.....
A man is a man is a man. I think sexually when they are younger and away from their woman that a temptation can be deadly. How do you know what this woman exposed to him to get him? Hey in heat we are wild.... We women in erotic want have no morals.....Honey, anything goes....We want to get laid....And many of us will go to any length to get it on with a stud.
I have often wondered what I would have done if my husband had that affair and I found out about it. I have thought this over in bed as he is making love to me and driving me wild. Then I think of that other woman that he would have done this with and as good as he is, and how much I love him, I would have taken him back.....All sins can be forgiven but a good man like I have would be hard to find.......
I wish you well and send you my best wishes...Keep your eyes open and just plain love him to death.....
Originally Posted by rcoreyus
Yes, long distance relationships are very hard. I'm in one but i'm not married.
I agree with this post, but as he's told you, and your with him, he's doing everything out of his power to ensure you know that it won't happen again.
It seems to me that he missed the intimacy and you, combined.
You know a man can give the come on, but it's the woman who has to agree.
And if they were f.... buddies, then she certainly wasn't interested in anything more.
As for your bed, perhaps ask that you both use any savings to purchase a new one just for you both.
It takes a bold man to admit it and bring you to him and stop it.
Also, is she still around? Not in the sexual sense but in the town?
As that will make things hard, perhaps be strong here and say, let's do something from our love. Let's go where she will be, hold hands and let me smile at her, so she knows i know and then sees the love we have so i can get on with loving you.
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