Thread: an open relationship?

I guess you might call me close-minded, but I don't really believe in open relationships. I love my boyfriend and we are planning to get married in the future! I could never even think about being with someone else or him being with someone else. I think those people who are interested in open relationships are just asking for disaster!!! It kinda seems that you feel like you are missing something, but you aren't sure. So, you are going to date other guys to find out if they have what you are missing. But, if you don't find what you are looking for....you still want the security of an open relationship so that you can be with your boyfriend. Sorry, my theory is a little confusing. In my opinion, you should either commit to your boyfriend or break it off and find the right person for you! Hope this helps!

I totally agree /\ open relationships are just a reason to go be with someone else. If you have to have an open relationship there is no reason to stay with that person. They obviously arent what you want. If he wants it i would be a little worried. Dont waste your time with stuff like that!!!

I came to this website because I feel uncomfortable with my open relationship, I am not a woman which may make this site not for me, but I find their is better advice than other places. My girlfriend of 4 years decided that she wanted to try out an open relationship, which at first I was fine with because I love her and I feel like she would do the best things for our relationship. But after awhile I realized that I don't like it, I just want her and there are only a few options for her. Either going on a few dates with some guy until he starts to really dig on her and tells her that he loves her and then she will have to tell him that she has a boyfriend, or that she has one night stands and just gets instant satisfaction, but doesn't have the man that she loves to hold her while she sleeps. She has had a lack in libedo and I have tried pretty much everything in the book to get it back, but I think she needs to experience the first time jitters again. I think that is why everybody tries open relationships, they miss holding hands for the first time, or the gut wrenching feeling of getting a first kiss from somebody. Because I have been with her for so long, I can't give her firsts anymore. All you can hope for in a open relationship is that the person that you love will eventually come back to you with open arms. Guys say it's okay, at first because they think it will be kinky, but after a while because they want you to be happy and to love them without any doubt in the back of your mind. Make sure that you think things through before you put eachother through the hardships of an open relationship, if you can make it you'll be strong, if you don't it hurts. I really think after going through this that being comfortable in a relationship feels so good, knowing that you have someone to hold you and to love you, the good feelings of first times only last through the first time, after that you have nothing. If you do decide to have an open relationship, make sure that you already are happy and strong in the relationship at hand, that is the only reason that I am still on this bumpy ride. Thank you for letting me write, it feels so much better writing my own reasoning for the **** I put myself through and hearing your input on really tough situations. Good luck, make sure it's worth it.

I think any degree of openness will work, if only you talk about it long enough and are honest with each other.
One of the worst things that could happen would be one of the two hiding their feelings, so not to hurt the other person.. they might end up having to be unhappy about it for the rest of the relationship.

me and my fiancé talked about this subject for a really long time, and what we do now from time to time is invite other girls for threesomes, that's all.
We will not do anything if the other person is not there, and there won't be any other guys involved either, because we tried that once and he told me he couldn't stand to see that, even though he first thought it would be no problem.
Since I don't have the desire to do so, I'm fine with that, and when he gets to play with other girls, I do too, so we both win, right?
I don't know why, but for some reason I don't have a problem seeing him with another girl, it took him a long time to understand how I feel about that.. I guess at first it might seem like I don't care enough. It's just that I'm not a very jealous person, because I know for sure that I am the one he loves, so there's nothing i have to worry about and I can just have fun.
Strangely enough I do feel a little bit of jealousy sometimes, but only when it has to do with his friends.. like when he talks to girls he's been friends with for a long time, and they joke about things in their past.

This only works so well because we spent hours on end talking about it, and that's my advice.. whatever you do, discuss it until you're really really sure, and don't hide anything just to be nice or because you're ashamed.

i never thought about it before

if you're thinking sexually open, like sleeping around, then yeah, that'd hurt way too much for me, i'd say it's a no-go. but if you're talking about emotionally open, like if you're open with your partner about what's going on with you and what's going on with them, then i'd say there's no other way to go, go for it!

I'm in an open relationship and while it does create some new stresses in our marriage, it also creates some new strengths and has been very good for our relationsip as a whole. I have a boyfriend on the side and he has a differnet type of freedom that he enjoys. I have strong feelings for my boyfriend and my husband knows that but my husband and I are a strong, unseperable force of love that do what we need to do to fix the problems in our marriage and this was our solution rather then cheating or getting a divorce. I now get the attention I needed and wasn't getting from someone else and he gets what he wasn't getting somewhere else and it works well for us. It's not for everyone though, that is for sure as it can be very draining emotionally and very stressful and you have to be sure you have a very strong relationship that is very open to discussion.

Julie

I think it really depends on your situation. Me and my boyfriend have been together for years and we have a great relationship. Really, we are both discussing an 'open' relationship because we hadn't had a lot of experience sexually when we got together. We never felt the need to be with any one else for such a long time and only now we both think that we will benefit from having some other sexual experience while we are still young. I know this will be good for me because i don't want to resent him when we are older for not having any other experience with men. As long as you set some ground rules i say go for it! But only if you have no reservations about how each other will react once you both start.