All about getting thru this - Page 3

**just4me** · #21 03-21-2008, 11:04 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by CHANDLERS WISH

Good for you.....and you already knew that bit, because you've taken the step....

There is a trigger when you read over and over and over again, i googled "inner self" and was shocked at reading that it was beautiful, and i read it often... Thing is the long list, will get shorter when you re-write it each few weeks as a few disappear...lol.... Make sure your 10 year old can't see them xx

Women are emotional creates, and we jump around in circles and circles bugger hey.....

I think that you've done the logic things so "feeling" would be good right now, it got me out of where i was.

Keep telling us what your feeling, and how it's going, would love to know dont' forget that phone number thing though, and picture him as "the devil" that you knew...... cause he is love.

PS: Love your last quote...............

Time to work on my list and myself.

[/quote]

Today is a good day!!! I made my list and look at it often, especially when I start to miss him a bit. Still haven't heard from him, it's been 5 days today since we last spoke. Thats a good thing, I know.

I am doing the number change this weekend while I'm doing my Easter shopping for my son.

I had lots of company last night, which was really nice. Kept from thinking so much of him and dwelling on certain things. I have alienated myself alot from family and friends while I was depressed over him. Not gonna do that anymore, gonna get back out there and live it up. I have laughed more in this last week than I have in I honestly can't remember how long. Its a day to day process and I am going to take it day by day.

Thank you (on that quote comment)...

"LAUGH WHEN YOU CAN, APOLOGIZE WHEN YOU SHOULD, LET GO OF WHAT YOU CAN'T CHANGE, TAKE CHANCES, GIVE LOVE AND HAVE NO REGRETS. LIVE IS TO SHORT TO BE.....ANYTHING BUT HAPPY!!

"Become a Member"

**just4me** · #22 03-21-2008, 11:19 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by CarolineWH

Unfortunately I did not see your last post before I posted.

I am confused as to why your Therapist thinks you would lose who you are... Still wondering where he thinks you should go...The only thing you have learned from this man is a new part of yourself....Now you stay away...So you had a fling...Lots of people do...I had an affair with a married man when I was engaged....Looking back I am happy I did...Took me a while to get over it but I learned sexually what a hot woman that I was.....And with God as my witness from that hot sexual love with him that was everything but sexual intercourse, I came out of it knowing that I was some kind of woman.....Just as you know this in your heart...

From this hot romance you have learned a new hot and sexual part of yourself....He awakened you as a woman...Now you know who you really are inside...You already said that the best part about him was the sex...Now you know it.......

Honey, you have been aroused....You worry that you will never feel this again.....You will....He has given you this gift but don't cry about it...Smile...You have learned something that many women will never be privileged to learn...They talk like they know it but they don't...You do...He has given you this gift now enjoy it without him...You will now walk with the confidence of a woman that knows she is hot...

Now stop crying over him...He really is not worth it....Make your list and write down what a jerk he is but at the end of it smile....He helped let the hot tiger in you come out of the cage....Now have some fun out of life......TC, C

My therapist said he meant by that comment that if I don't get away from him, I may lost myself. That eventually he will have so much more control over him I will never be able to walk away if I don't do it now. He said I have an addiction to what this person has portrayed to me as his kind of love and I have to kick that addiction, just like a drug.

Yes maam he has given me a gift. As I said before I met him I didnt care much for sex at all and he woke me up to so many different things. It was amazing and I will always hold that dearly in my heart. And I look forward to sharing that with the next special person in my life...no matter how long it takes me to find that person.

My therapist told me to grieve when I need too, but look at the list and remember those are the reasons that I cannot contact him or take him back...ever. He called him a predator, and he's right thats what he is.

So now i'll use the only good thing he gave me out of this relationship and
move forward to something much more wonderful and exciting...

One day at a time.....

**CarolineWH** · #23 03-21-2008, 11:42 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by just4me

Yes maam he has given me a gift. As I said before I met him I didnt care much for sex at all and he woke me up to so many different things. It was amazing and I will always hold that dearly in my heart. And I look forward to sharing that with the next special person in my life...no matter how long it takes me to find that person.

Gosh, I sure have trouble with the "maam" bit but I guess that is what I am.....Trouble is, tell my body and mind this....Up until last month I used to be on 50 mg. of Zoloft but the doctor took me off of them. Said I did not need them because I am so high on life....Saw him yesterday and I am still high on life. So now he knows about the high and glorius life of an older woman...Good luck.....

**just4me** · #24 03-21-2008, 11:51 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by CarolineWH

Gosh, I sure have trouble with the "maam" bit but I guess that is what I am.....Trouble is, tell my body and mind this....Up until last month I used to be on 50 mg. of Zoloft but the doctor took me off of them. Said I did not need them because I am so high on life....Saw him yesterday and I am still high on life. So now he knows about the high and glorius life of an older woman...Good luck.....

LOL sorry about the maam thing, it all comes from being raised in the south. You know we all have that southern hospitatlity

.

seeking32 · #25 03-22-2008, 11:07 AM

Let's stay focused!!!! You are experiencing wavering decisions, thoughts, and emotions because he is not yours. You must understand what you have placed yourself up against. The principalities of it all! He is cheating on his wife (his life partner, the one he vowed to honor,cherish,love, and protect). With saying that, if he does not possess those characteristics for his better half, then why would he display them for you? You first need to check your self esteem because your standards are fairly low. Please don't mistake my response as judging you, I place that at the LORD's feet. However, it was not designed for you to have another woman's husband. Therefore, nothing but strife will result in it. I was written as a promise. Please reach inside yourself and ask for forgiveness and move forward. You deserve more, so act like it! Just consider this, what you reap is what you sow. Who will your future husband share himself with? Food for thought.

**CarolineWH** · #26 03-22-2008, 11:20 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by seeking32

Let's stay focused!!!! You are experiencing wavering decisions, thoughts, and emotions because he is not yours. You must understand what you have placed yourself up against. The principalities of it all! He is cheating on his wife (his life partner, the one he vowed to honor,cherish,love, and protect). With saying that, if he does not possess those characteristics for his better half, then why would he display them for you? You first need to check your self esteem because your standards are fairly low. Please don't mistake my response as judging you, I place that at the LORD's feet. However, it was not designed for you to have another woman's husband. Therefore, nothing but strife will result in it. I was written as a promise. Please reach inside yourself and ask for forgiveness and move forward. You deserve more, so act like it! Just consider this, what you reap is what you sow. Who will your future husband share himself with? Food for thought.

I don't think she is asking for forgiveness, she is asking for help. Nobody has a right to judge the other person unless they walk in their shoes...Her standards are not low....She is a woman and being a woman she fell for a man that she did not know was married...Again, this Forum is not to preach your gospel, but to ask for help and grow. This woman is a good woman with high standards...She made one big mistake...She fell in love....Maybe someday you too will find the bliss of this wonderful place in your heart....Then you, too, will be able to find the compassion in your heart to understand the inner workings of a woman in love...

**CHANDLERS WISH** · #27 03-22-2008, 11:38 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by seeking32

Let's stay focused!!!! You are experiencing wavering decisions, thoughts, and emotions because he is not yours. You must understand what you have placed yourself up against. The principalities of it all! He is cheating on his wife (his life partner, the one he vowed to honor,cherish,love, and protect). With saying that, if he does not possess those characteristics for his better half, then why would he display them for you? You first need to check your self esteem because your standards are fairly low. Please don't mistake my response as judging you, I place that at the LORD's feet. However, it was not designed for you to have another woman's husband. Therefore, nothing but strife will result in it. I was written as a promise. Please reach inside yourself and ask for forgiveness and move forward. You deserve more, so act like it! Just consider this, what you reap is what you sow. Who will your future husband share himself with? Food for thought.

Seeking 32. I just replied to your thread on your husband" cheating on you" and you had only been married for 1 year.

I held compassion and answered my thoughts as your first words if i remember correctly was " please help"...

It is understandable therefore having read this post of your reply which you perhaps did not go to page one and read ever post reply to, rather her thread and replied, you hold as well, hurt amongst other emotions.

It certainly appears to be a somewhat biast reply to this thread and person.

Like you, she is trying to "forgive" and can't "forget".

Like you, she is trying to "jump over the hurdle and be happy"

And, like you, she has compassion and the love of the man she was with, you are with.

SHE is indeed a brave woman. She also wrote this thread for help and as such we have replied to her. She is working through this and is moving on.

Your husband cheated on you 1 year after the marriage. If you read this total thread and post, it is apparent that he, has cheated at least 10 times, surely the wife must be aware also of at least "1"...

I would think therefore, that the person in this story who is the "nasty one" is him. And, she simply got caught up in the love of him, establishing along the way, and coming to realisation of what he is.

Perhaps, search deeper as it would be hard for you to reply to this thread objectively and offer "help" and advice.

"My Opinion" (Quote)

Keep up the good work JUST4ME, remember your strength.....