That was a "white rose bud", but probably had bugs on it as well!!!!!

Your right Chandler, it is revenge and not worth it. That probably will take more energy for me to do than to just forget about him. And then what if I find out more, that I really do not want to know...ugh just setting myself up for more heartbreak than he has already given me.

Point taken on post I made to seeking32...I totally agree.

That was funny the white rose bud with ugly bugs...LOL good one Chandler.

Yes I called about my mobile number today and I have to go in and do it in person so I will be doing it Monday on my lunch hour. I fell last night and hurt my ankle and didnt feel like doing much today.

Thank you you for your thoughts and your opinion...much appreciated.

No, I would never tell her....You see this wife could have been me...A woman came after my husband knowing that he was married and was waiting in a hotel for him. I just found out about this about 10 months ago..This happened in his early 50's....He is really quite a guy....I have never been as shocked and scared in my life as when I found this out and asked him if he went....

This happening has affected my relationship with my husband as I now realize so many things about women and life...I now look at the lonely other woman and the wife that is not enough on her toes to keep him sexually happy.....I have found that a man does not think as a woman...They love but the word love means something else to them then it does to a woman....Most women think eternity and a great deal of men think with a hard on......I have found that usually when a man is sexually happy at home that he does not wander but the secret is finding that sexual happiness...I lucked out...

With you all that has happened, happened because it was supposed to happen.....He was on the prowl and you greeted him with an open heart...You, my dear, now are a complete woman and your eyes are now opened to the wonder of love and man......Cherish what you have learned and smile when you think of it....You are one of the lucky ones.

Now just have a wonderful life....All my love to you, xox Caroline

See your seeing things differently already, i never said that the bug was "ugly" lol..... But now i do

And try not to drink so much, then you won't fall down... only joking...

Have no doubt you'll go in circles with thoughts for a few weeks, it's natural, what if, should i, i did it for a while before i walked.....

Funny though for me, one thing i didn't consider is that i own more, and spent more on us, bugger me that he wants now to sign out of a commercial deal providing i pay him, what's with that???? Yet, where i am now in my life, i simply am smiling, so what...........

Be free and enjoy...

Today was a pretty good day for me and how I'm feeling. It's been 8 days since i've talked to him....that is HUGE for me. We've never gone this long without any kind of communication. I just wish I didn't think of him so much. I hope that goes away too. I mean I know i'll always think of him just hopefully not so much in the future. And that each day is going to get easier for me.

I want to get past these feelings of missing him so much . There are times when its not necessarily so much of missing him, but then there are times when I miss him so much I hurt. I know this is all normal.
Wow I sound kind of contradictory there.

I keep telling myself how bad this relationship is/was. Many many reasons to stay away. All on the list. Just have to get past these missing him feelings. I miss a certain side of him that I don't think many others got to see of him. We could talk at time so well and have an awesome time together and thats the part I miss....

Oh well I know I have to let go, totally. One day at a time.

That's great.

I know you have a child, 10 i think of by memory, just wondering if you can start to get out a bit now, and mingle so you can experience other interections as a single woman. Also, if someone flirted with you a touch that would help i think start to assist in forgetting about him.

Sitting on your own daily, and night, would make it harder.

Just a thought.

Oh I flirt all the time. I work with tons of men, so lots of opportunities there, lol. I have always been a huge flirt..I have been doing alittle more getting out and it is helping a bit. My son is with his dad this week on spring break, so I am home alone and its kind of hard for me at times.

Today is a rough day. I'm having little crying, feeling sorry for myself moments. And missing him even more so today than yesterday but I am getting thru it. My ex-husband is my best friend and he told me to just call him...I was like huh???? Are you kidding me, then he said I was only going to see what you would say...do not contact him. He only said it because he hates to see me upset and hurting and he says he has seen how at times I was very happy with the jerk but he has also seen all the crying times too. He has lots of names for him, lol.

Anyway its another day, may not have been as great yesterday but its another day and I will get thru it. They say everyday gets easier,,,well ok I need that to happen and soon....That old saying "patience is a virtue"...I for sure need that now. I can be very impatient at times especially when I am hurting. Gotta keep reminding myself I am a good person and deserve so much better. It just hurts when I think of him with someone else and all the things he said to me that I know he will say to the next one and the next one.

Pfffffffffffft!!! Gotta stop that now....Gotta keep smiling and moving.