scared of relationships or playing games?

**Little** · 03-29-2008 09:06 AM

A long-distance relationship and a military relationship are quite different ...
Military men are trained to just shut off their emotions, point blank, and it can take weeks or months, depending on how close you were, to open them back up over a phone line.
Do you live in the same area as his parents?
I say you made the right decision not to date him anymore, but if you can manage to stay friends, maybe you can connect with him when he comes home on leave, etc.
It's a crazy game, and the uniform isn't what makes it "worth it." To date a military man, you have to have NO reservations about how you feel about him. It's hard.
I hope that everything works out for you. Take care and let us know how things go.

**anilu** · 03-29-2008 03:36 PM

thank you so much. your reply means a lot. i am trying to take one day at the time and not thing about him. i miss him but i know he is not the best for me. I have decided to dont date for a little while until i feel better. I guess the next guy in me life does not need the drama and i need to move on first.

during the day, when i think about this i go back and forth between feeling sad, angry, guilty, empty but also thankful becaue it did not get worst and also because i showed confidence by breaking up with him. i am doing my best by staying busy but it is so hard when i dont have many friends who want to hang out.

once again thank you, take care.

Originally Posted by CHANDLERS WISH

That's a very sad story anilu and i feel for you.

I can only say that there is no necessity to put someone down and hurt them in the way in which he chose to do.

Sometimes, it is just as nice to say i can't get over my ex, as a reason, if you need a reason or can't continue with a relationship, or simply, i just think it's better left.

It sounds that he may be still hurting and won't allow anyone into his life, not you specifically but anyone.

My ex-husband's first wife cheated on him and i believe that created a huge sexual rift in our marriage on trust and giving love.

I would not take to heart what he has said to you i am sure that it was a situation not something you will experience in the future so please do not allow those comments to cloud your mind into believing that in the next relationship you enter into.

**CHANDLERS WISH** · 03-30-2008 02:23 AM

I think that besides him at this point "not being emotionally available", and as such, no matter what you stated your feelings were, he is not emotionally available to be able to give and receive at this stage.

I think what Little said as well as the ex, situation could mount up to those reasons.

I suppose in retrospect, sometimes you have to "fight" for the man you love, but you have to ascertain if you "liked" this person and the fruits of the new relationship and want to break through in a different light and remain friends, whilst slightly hinting your not dating, and not talking at all about your feelings and go down a quite long path to see, "as i do not know how much you feel you love him"... Where as Little may have picked that up more so.

Or, whether the words spoken as he is not emotionally ready for another strong relationship are not worth your while in seeking further, as you feel that there could have been a better way to explain his feelings and thoughts... Which is good communication between two people, which he may not be ready to do either yet.

So, i guess you have two choices, re-read what Little said and take the "friend" stance for a while and see where it takes you, or you feel that you want more anyway and stick to what you have done and how you feel.

I am saying this, having read your reply, because, someone took the time to spend 8 weeks, of trying to get around my "block" him off, any man off and it worked for him...

He was the strong one, prepared to wait and prepared to push .....

But at the same stage it was suttle, included "friends", if that's the path it goes and it worked for him, SO FAR....

So he broke me, you never ever know.

Only you know what your heart says and which way you need to go from here.

I wish you all the best in which ever decision you make and hope that what i posted made sense to you.

Thread: scared of relationships or playing games?

LinkBack

Thread Tools

Search Thread

Display

thank you

Bookmarks

Bookmarks

Posting Permissions