imported_carrie06

Hello all,
My boyfriend and I have been together for 2.5 years and we have a committed, loving relationship. However, he is not an overly expressive guy so sometimes its hard to know what he is really thinking. He just got a new job in Chicago that he is very excited about and I am also very supportive of. When we talk about me going to, he says he sees me eventually coming up, and said it was a good idea to get certified in my field. However, he has also said the following things:
"I don't want you to just chase after me"
"I kinda saw you ending up getting a job in our hometown"
"I do not want to live together though, I have a lot of plans before I am ready for that"
I have asked him if he is comfortable with me applying to jobs, and he says yes, but is adamant about not living together! He is very confusing sometimes. I am applying to jobs, but is the way he is behaving a bad sign? Or he is just a guy being a guy.
Thanks
Carrie

imported_~jennyjo~

Take this advice: Read "Ten Stupid Things Women Do To Mess Up Their Lives" written by Dr Laura Schlessinger. She says it all...good luck!

imported_lovebug

don't move he is saying without saying that he does not want you there.

AFemaleProdigy

I agree. He is either not ready to seriously commit by moving in, but may still want a relationship. There are many reasons why he may want to wait that are good reasons. For example, his life is going to change and he may not want to jump into living together until he is situated and prepared for that. He may just need more time to be sure that's what he wants. Maybe his career and other goals take priority over you (sorry to say). Or he may be concidering other possibillities such as newfound freedom and seeing other people, but doesn't want to tell you that. Unfortunately, there is no simple answer to this... except don't move in. Continue to live your life for yourself and not for him. If and when he is ready for that step, he will let you know, but it is definately not now. Also, don't move there just to be with him. You don't want to be stuck out there if things don't go well between you two. Good luck!

__________________
~Jessica

imported_kaylar

Men tend to have 'categories' of girls...
the 'home town girl', that's the nice girl
he'll hang with when the 'hot gal' is busy.

When a man decides to leave town to
go to school or take a job, 99% of the
time it means;

"I am letting you down Easy. I am breaking
off with you without saying it, just in case
when I go where I'm going I don't find anyone.

But I am going where I am going with a big
sign around my next saying; AVAILABLE."

Whatever it was..
is OVER.

Here is how it is supposed to work.
He goes away...when he's dead of lonliness
he'll ring you up to prove he can get a woman,
but it doesn't mean anything.

You, however, are supposed to take it as
a continuous relationship, so that you keep
yourself on 'ice' until if/when he FAILS and
turns back to you.

You are the 'default'.

You are supposed to feel so wonderful
when he calls.

Then, he'll meet someone and stop calling
you. You will wait, miss chances, and
decide to 'surprise him' and travel there,
big grin on your face, until his girl opens
the door and asks you what you want,
and he acts like you came to deliver
a pizza.

IT IS OVER.
MOVE ON.