hi im new to this thread as well, i was looking for some awnsers belive it or not im on the net to help me through this heart breaker, i have been with my boyfreind of 8 yrs but dating for about 18 yrs, i love him with all my heart, and would do jus about anything for him, i "had" a best friend who decided her man was not good enough for her and though she could share my man. i really trusted her and thought the world of her as well, there had been many times were them two would go "shopping" so i thought together, or somthing dunb like that. i would have never guessed. but it happend about a year and a half ago, i just got the email tues of last week, some person emailed me to tell me she has been boasting about it, and it got back to me . when i confronted him he denied it until i pretty much told him "this was the time to tell me cause who ever sent me the mesage has proof" he then came clean and told me he had cheated on me not once but several times while i was working.
the scariest thing is i think i knew it, i knew somthing was not right after a while and thats why i stoped hanging with her. but i feel so ****** now! i feel like i was taken for a fool and not only that but violated by the man i love and truseted. i left him then he of corse did the whole "i got caught routine" and begged me to come back that he learned his lesson and how im the only one who could make him happy,, and how he loves me so much hes nothing without me.. now i decided to try and work it out with him becuse i do love him. but its so hard, i keep thinking about her and him together, and what is he doing while im at work things like that. will i get over it or is it worth trying to work out??? any suggestions.

Every situation is different..... l can understand how relationships fall apart.... cheating... feeling attracted to another person... however... l seriously am soooo dead against it... we all have a mind... we all know the diff from right and wrong.... lots of pllz mess about... some get caught out.....the guilty party then realizes ... the grass isn t always greener on the other side... l ve dabbled and now l know l want to be with the woman.. man.. l originally was with.. pppfffttt... hun .. seriously it takes a very strong person to cope and deal with all the emotions you are going through... the old saying.... once the trust has gone... well you are living it... doesn t always maen that the guilty party will cheat again... just means the victim.. and thats you... will forever wonder... all the things you mentioned you will always go through... will keep popping back into your head... consider councelling.... both of you.. if he s willing... l wish you well

I as in an on and on relationship with my first boyfriend for around 14 years, the end result of it remaining of, was as a result of him cheating with my best friend..Sound's familar..

I was pretty open minded and my relationship was different, as it was "on and of" so i knew of others in between which did not effect me, but the "best friend" yep, that one did, never saw either of them again.

Funny - he told me it was "my fault", if i did not allow the three of us to hang out he would not have been so familiar of course, that's not true, as your friend should be your friend and know how to say NO, or not instigate anything because she is a FRIEND..

But does not seem to work that way in real life unfortunately, just in the way we think and expect it to be.

The only lesson there is to obviously never allow female/male friendship and alone time to come into play ever.

The fact that you found out from someone else is always the hardest in making a decision as well i think. I also did, then drove past and well...

She was boasting? So i assume it continued until you found out ?

You will have a hard time trusting, i'd probably take space anyway to one think myself for while and two see just how much he misses you and the extent he is willing to go to win you back, not a week or two either.

18 Years is a long time...

My favourite saying " If you love something set it free, if it comes back to you it's yours if it doesn't it never was".

CW