My so called best friend.

**yerrmate-x** · 04-29-2008 05:40 PM

You see I have this mate,, who I thought was my best mate but she doesnt seem to care about me. She never wants hugs or talks to me. Shes always sarcastic and only wants to go off with the popular people in school and i feel like noone understands not even her..
For example i was on msn.
And i just wrote to her "k" and she went " don't write k you know i don't like it"
Why is she being like this we used to be so close

**CHANDLERS WISH** · 04-29-2008 05:55 PM

Originally Posted by yerrmate-x

You see I have this mate,, who I thought was my best mate but she doesnt seem to care about me. She never wants hugs or talks to me. Shes always sarcastic and only wants to go off with the popular people in school and i feel like noone understands not even her..
For example i was on msn.
And i just wrote to her "k" and she went " don't write k you know i don't like it"
Why is she being like this we used to be so close

My Mother always taught me that you can "through life" count your friends on one hand.

Throughout life, we meet many people, some we class as friends, some, aquaintences.

Unfortunately, some that "were friends" were really only aquaintences.

You need to be able to "count on a friend" when in need.

No matter what age, some people change for lots of reasons and they then start to see things differently and move on, much like any form of realtionship.

It's just life unfortunately.

And it's always sad to lose a friend but think of it this way, is she is telling you of for saying "k" because she doesn't like it, she may just also be the time that says give a **** later, when you have a guy in your life and she likes him.....

You only need true friends in your life, so that one unfortunately may not be able to be added to the life long list.

Make lots of new ones yourself, (aquaintances) somewhere there will be one that just clicks, that you can rely on and be mates with and visa versa....

CW

**yerrmate-x** · 04-29-2008 05:58 PM

How can you be sure that the people you think are friend are... cause i don't want to lose her but I dunno how to make her see
Do you have any idea

ThankYou x

**CHANDLERS WISH** · 04-29-2008 06:15 PM

Originally Posted by yerrmate-x

How can you be sure that the people you think are friend are... cause i don't want to lose her but I dunno how to make her see
Do you have any idea

ThankYou x

Well, she has been your friend for a while. I don't understand the "hugs bit", why that is important to you. Having said that I am a touchy feeling person, so i'm not saying it's bad.

So, she was your friend.. But true friends keep being friends no matter what. They continue through your life and those changes in life with you, because they are your friend.

No one is saying either that you have to cut her of. But, you have to be wary not to get hurt. If she feels she wants to be around for instance, the "most popular girls" now, that when i was young was pier pressure. There could be many reasons for that. She could feel a need to feel important but you are not enough, or she could be worried about those girls they may be "tough girls" and better of for her to join the pack, or she genuinely may like them and want to be in their circle.

Ask yourself, would you fit in? With those girls?

So, she may feel that she has to decide and chose at this point in her life who she wants to hang around with you, or them...

Sad as i said, but you can't change people..

Still be friends with her, just be wary that's all, because friends don't hurt friends, but well, acquaintances have no need to be worried if they do or don't if that makes sense.

We go through life in and out of relationships being hurt, it's life.

Sometimes we are lucky and that one relationship lasts a life time, be it a man, or girlfriends, that's why there is only ever a handful.

You kind of click on everything almost, subjects, personality, jokes ....

Just be you and make lots of friends, one only when gone can be lonley, mix and mingle with those you get along with and be happy. There is always a special friend, they come along, sometimes one will go that's all, in a new direction and that's their choice...

CW

**yerrmate-x** · 04-29-2008 06:25 PM

What i ment by hug is i go to give her one and she pushes me away..

You know u have made me realise that she needs to grow up and realise she can't treat people that way and she is not a very good mate.

You have been a very big help
Thankyou so much x

**CHANDLERS WISH** · 04-29-2008 06:28 PM

Originally Posted by yerrmate-x

What i ment by hug is i go to give her one and she pushes me away..

You know u have made me realise that she needs to grow up and realise she can't treat people that way and she is not a very good mate.

You have been a very big help

Thankyou so much x

Well short from coming out and saying that, sometimes it's better to just let you see the whole picture and make your own decision.......

If she pushes you away, she's not your "mate"...

Time to find ones that respect you...

CW

**yerrmate-x** · 04-29-2008 06:43 PM

Thankyou,,
But she's still gunna talk to me, how do i play it

**CHANDLERS WISH** · 04-29-2008 07:02 PM

Originally Posted by yerrmate-x

Thankyou,,
But she's still gunna talk to me, how do i play it

Depends on how you feel...

Firstly if you feel, disrepected then tell it how it is, tell her what she has been doing is not for you, it's not the type of friend you are after, so she either works that out and things will be fine, or move on, her choice.

Take over the power.

From there it should be easy, as she will apologies and see or move on...

Secondly, then be first and strong on that decision, if that is your belief in this friendship, ok.

As it seems to be the case.

No point wasting your energy on someone that is not worth it is there...

CW

**yerrmate-x** · 04-30-2008 04:58 PM

I confronted her and now shes being agressive and mean..
and i dont have a clue wat to say
i said this to her on msn
"why r u being like this.. we had fun at ur sleepover and we used to be best mates"
Then she said"things change obviously me"
I then said " why
u dont need to change for anyone
to fit in or w.e ur friends like u for who u are
and were the ones who dont want u to ever change"

Help!!

**CHANDLERS WISH** · 04-30-2008 05:15 PM

Hun,

If she is saying "she has changed" then she has changed, wants to hang out with those girls instead and she is not caring about what you had..

Much like any relationship... Your in love then your not one day and you move on.

Just wish her well in her journey of life and move on with yours is all i can really say

If you feel she is mean, disrespectful, cut the ties now and be nice about it, because otherwise, you keep being told things over and over that you don't like and what's the point in that?

Lots of girls out there, go make some better ones.

Take care.

CW

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