Thread: Trust & Technology

I have checked my husband's email and call log. When we first started dating I trusted him blindly and after we were married I found out he had cheated several times.

I left him and we remained seperated for three months but got back together in January were he swears he will never cheat again. If he does cheat again, I'll simply leave him, but I love him enough to give our marriage a second shot.

My thought now is trust, but varify (spelling?).

In the beginning I checked his messages, emails and call log every couple hours (secretly), now I check his emails once in a while and never touch his cellphone.

I check his emails if I get a bad feeling or start to suspect something... but other than that, he is regaining my trust.

I'm a guy.

I've seen a few women online and IRL that snoop through their mens phone, I think it's pathetic. If you don't trust someone, leave them.

If I catch you going through my phone or email - that's it, relationship over.

I would leave before I would spy. For me, trust is the most important part of a relationship - without trust, the rest isn't worth the effort.

Maybe my wife is cheating - but I will act as if I can trust here completely until I have no other choice.

I would not leave my wife if she spied on me - but if I found out for sure, it would badly hurt the relationhsip. If I found out for sure that she was spying on me to try to catch me cheating, I would feel that gave me a right to cheat as long as I could get away from it. After all without trust, it is just a game to see what you can get away with.

But - I am not going to try to catch her spying - that in itself would be spying.

I would feel guilty for spying and sneaking around. How is that trustworthy? Especially if there was nothing found.

Behavior like this usually stems from A) suspicious behavior- confront them, tell them objectively what your feeling and thinking about the way they are bahaving. More often than not they will gladly log in to their email or hand over their phone just to put your fears to rest. If they are not willing to listen to what your thinking and validate your feelings then whats the point of staying anyway.
B)Jealousy- I use this term generally. I believe it is actually other emotions ie:fear of loss, anger, sadness, insecurity... Anyway, jealousy-nasty buggar-is a strong driving force that causes people to act irrationally and without forethought. Its nagging and causes way more problems than its worth.