Thread: Is this cheating? What do you think?

Originally Posted by moonshadow48

So not to be rude or anything ANON and Wilhelm, I am not just "his girl" i am his wife. I have put over 20 years into our relationship and stuck by him through a whole lot. You don't even know half the story of what i have gone through with this man. Relationships are wonderful but they are also work, you have to work at them if they mean anything to you. Relationships are give and take, he has taken more than he has given but it was my choice to put up with.

Ok, let me draw up a little scenario for you, bear with me, I might be taking it to extremes. Let's say Joe has planted bombs around the city, and if they go off the death toll will be over 100 people. Let's say that we have captured Joe, and no matter how much we torture him, he won't tell us where the bombs are or how to disarm them. We find Joes family, his lovely young wife and four children, not one aged over 10, who no nothing about the plan or what a nasty man Joe is.

It would make perfect sense to torture his family to death one by one before his eyes, crossing whatever moral boundries we assumed that we had, for the greater good, to get the information, committing great atrocities.

What would you do? From your answer to the above I guess it would involve torturing children. Morals and ethics are flexible to the real world. Whatever works.

Relating this again to the keylogger example, you might deem it necessary, but if your man was someone like me or any others, you are simply running the certainty that if caught, and personally I would catch it since I'm a computer wiz, I wouldn't be able to even look at you. I would kick you out, or even if you were the mother of my children, I would discontinue any relationship I had with you outside of raising our children, and there would be an uneasy hatred between us. If you are willing to go to such extremes, you must be willing to accept the fact that maybe you are wrong and you destroyed the relationship and your trust yourself.

Originally Posted by moonshadow48

However, I can assure you there is no way, no how anyone would put me out! Ever. I can tell that you must be a very young man to think that you would have that option. But since she would only be your "girl" or young herself it might work. If you ever get with a strong woman, one that knows who she is and what she wants, can take care of herself. One that doesn't NEED you for anything but loves you and wants you in her life, maybe you will realize, you wouldn't just be putting anyone out. Especially if you caused the doubt in the first place.

First, not that I'd like to answer for Whilhelm particularly, but he's old and has children. So that makes you wrong in your assumption.

And yes, I would throw that someone out, I have strong personal convictions, and I would want nothing to do with someone who could so happily walk over them. In fact I would enjoy punishing them, in vengeance. No matter how much they loved or needed me.

If you don't trust someone, have a conversation, you should know them enough to believe them or not. If you don't, then end the relationship. That simple. Admittedly less simple when children are involved, but kids learn all the wrong this living with parents who don't like each other.

Twenty years IS a long time. But think about it this way; when an inmate gets out of jail, even if he was in jail for 20 years he's not going to say, "Well I was there for a long time so I guess I'll have to spend the rest of my life here."

Plus think about the kids; kids can sense when something's wrong. When my dad cheated on my mom, I was five. I didn't know the exact detail of what was happening, but I knew Mommy was upset. And I blamed myself (kids do that). The kids know SOMETHING'S up, even if they might not know exactly what. It isn't good for them to be in a stressful household.

Looking back, I actually felt relieved when my dad finally moved out. The silent tension stopped. I missed him, but I was happy Mom wasn't sad anymore.

Suprisingly enough, it's better for all parties involved when the partners have time away from eachother to figure things out. You'll be glad you stepped away from the situation and had time to regroup.