It's all about the money...

**MaxiC** · 05-14-2008 07:07 AM

My partner was let go from his job two weeks ago. The company was downsizing and 1/5 of the employees were let go. He was given 10 weeks pay which we agreed we would divide out over the next 10 weeks.
So for the past two weeks hes been at home while i go to work. I have a stressful job and sometimes dont leave the office untill well after 7pm. Yet ever day when i return he seems to have spent more and more money. Hes bought a PS3 for €475, then games and contriollers for it. Hes boght a new surround souns system and an expensive new suit. In all hes managed to spend 6 of the ten weeks pay in two weeks. And yet he cannot see why or how i am annoyed.

We are going to the US in a few weeks (4), it will be both of our first times over there..and now the burden cost will fall completely on my shoulders. Which isnt even the part i mind. Its the coming home to face the month of July with just one salary and no sign or more to come from his side.

How do i explain or make him see how ridiculous he's being without it ending in a row, not even a blazing row, instead now he reverts to being a child and sulks and does not speak.

Hes like a changed person and its driving me crazy. Please give me any advice you can...

**CHANDLERS WISH** · 05-14-2008 07:17 AM

Well, you've gone into fear mode to start with, and you can not put that pressure on him, it was not his fault..

Second, he is being a spend thrift. 10 weeks of money yeaha, spend? Not responsible.

So can you see the two above? Point them both out..... You can't work your *** of and support just cause he knows you earn more, sure, been there, done that, gets worse. Expectations, take it "easy ".. sorry not so...

Definatley besides of you feeling "your doing" but frankly give him a break there only just happened, but certtainly stop him feeling like "h finally has money wow, and explain that babe, um you don't this will get us to week 8, as you've spend two weeks, one " i am in Australia", so 1, 2 i don't know but you get the drift.

You may think your going to get used, cause he got carried away,. so let him know YOU "****" GOT CARRIED AWAY and um, here's the thing, the holiday, our future.... love you though it will work out, so what job are you going to go for babe?

Hit him "between the eyes" sugar, have to start looking?

Strenth is an amazing thing..

CW

**rcoreyus** · 05-14-2008 09:32 AM

He is probably in denial - wants to pretend that nothing has happened. When someone looses a job, you need to go into "emergency" money mode - get rid of all unnecessary expenses. It isn't his fault he lost his job, but you both need to cut back.

**soldatka** · 05-14-2008 11:44 AM

He's a man acting like a child and spending money to console himself for losing his job. Which, fair enough, is a setback for him, and probably doesn't feel good, but he needs to get over it. The payoff gave him 10 weeks to find a job. Now he has 2.

I wouldn't shout or scream, but calmly explain it like it is. It is unfair to leave financing the household to you. He HAS to find a job. And maybe the holiday needs to go on hold for now, I don't know how much you have already paid. He needn't think he is getting a holiday all at your expense, when he's been extravagant with money that was meant to cover a lean time for you.

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